The out of context quotes thread

[Suguri]

Ugh, my car's tank is empty, but mine is full. I mean, I'm full of gas and not the car. Huh? NO! The car needs gas but I don't! Anyway, we have to find a gas station right now!

 

[Yoshi155]

We demand you bring in a police chief who will enforce the prohibition law.

Demand? Who are you to demand anything? I run this town. You’re just a bunch of low-income nobodies.

*whispering* Election in November.

Again?! This stupid country.

 

[Yoshi155]

Hey, hi, can I arrest any of you people for anything?

No.

 

[Suguri]

Only one of us can win.

*Pin puts a finger up*

Um, Pin? Wrong finger.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Hi kids!”
“Hi Mr Lizard!”
“Hi Mr Lizard. What are we going to learn today?”
*Zoom out to reveal three Petri dishes with ingredients in them*
“Well Timmy, what do you think would happen if we mix Potassium Nitrate”
“Ooooh!”
“Charcoal”
“Uh huh.”
“And Sulfur?”
“Hmmm. Gee Mr Lizard, I don’t know!”
*Jump to Baby watching the tv*
“We’re gonna need another Timmy!”
*Timmy is stirring the three ingredients with nothing happening*
“Gee Mr Lizard, nothing’s happening.”
“Well Timmy, *Mr Lizard is holding a lighter with a giant flame* maybe we need to put some ‘light’ on it.”
“Ooooo!”
*Timmy takes the lighter and cut to Baby*
“We’re gonna need another Timmy!”
*Cut back to the tv screen as Timmy lowers the flame and it explodes. Jump back to Baby*
“Say it!”
*Flames clear and shows Timmy’s body burned and missing his head and an arm. Mr. Lizard is unharmed*
“We’re gonna need another Timmy!”
*Cut to Baby waving his arms in the air*
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

 

[Yoshi155]

We’re going out, Marge! If we don’t come back, avenge our deaths!

Alright!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“This whole t-t-t-time I’ve been eating pepperoni, I’ve been eating me!”

 

[Yoshi155]

You’re out there somewhere, beer baron. And I’ll find you.

No, you won’t.

Yes, I will.

Won’t.

 

[Yoshi155]

You got to get me more beer!

Sorry, I’m all out. How about some turpentine or caulk? Delicious caulk.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“What?! Miss Simian fell down the old well and can’t get out?! I’m coming Lucy!”
“Principal Brown jumps through a closed window causing it to break and he falls from the second story of the school on his face and stomach. He is hurt but weakly pulls himself along the ground off screen*
“Arms don’t fail me now!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Gumball and Darwin try to tell Miss Simian that Mr Small is trapped inside his filing cabinet by silently acting it out*
“What?! Principal Brown fell down the old well and can’t get out?! I’m coming Nigel!”
*Miss Simian jumps out the window next to the one Principal Brown had jumped out of and falls flat on her stomach and face and is hurt. She then weakly pulls herself off screen*
“Arms don’t fail me now!”

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m sorry, father, but somewhere along the way, I forgot how to be your son.

Why, Antonio?

Because… I have amnesia!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“What’s that? Mr Small was leaning too far back on his chair that he fell into an open drawer in his filing cabinet and it closed shut and now he’s trapped and you need this crowbar to free him?”
*Gumball and Darwin smile at silent excitement as they notice the crowbar Rocky is holding and they hug him and grab the crowbar and run off. Rocky then throws himself out of a window next to the ones Principal Brown and Miss Simian threw themselves out of*

 

[QueenCobra]

“Your gayness doesn’t define you. It’s your Mexicanness than defines you.”

 

[Yoshi155]

An open casting call for child robots! Tinny Tim! Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

What’s that, sir?

That I, Bender, am perfect for the role!

You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir. Bravo!

 

[Suguri]

Nice outfit. Where'd ya get it from, a garbage dump?

Uh... yeah.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Jon is on the phone talking to someone while Garfield is sitting there*
“I know this is hard, Beverly, but I think we should break up. Don’t cry. It’ll be okay….”
*Garfield grabs the phone from Jon’s hand and hears a computerized voice on the other end*
“At the tone, the time will be 8:30. BEEP!”
“You monster! How dare you break that computer’s heart!”

 

[QueenCobra]

“What’s the most you ever lost in a coin toss?”

 

[Yoshi155]

There’s that robot child actor who grew up and robbed the convenience store.

And there’s that robot child actor who grew up and became a convenience store.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Well like you say, it isn’t easy being green.”
“Or being married to a literal pig!”
*Waldorf and Statler laugh*
“Okay. That one cut a little deep….”