The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“My Stalker, My Stalker
Even though he’s court restrained
His obsession still remains.
My Stalker and me!”

 

[Yoshi155]

You’ve gotta give me back my floor! My customers are walking around on the pipes!

Next time, pay your bills.

But I don’t want to! *leaves*

 

[SkyKnight03]

I'll tax the street
I'll tax your seat
I'll tax the heat
I'll tax your feet

Cause I'm the taxman

 

[Yoshi155]

Yeah, I bought your mutt, and I ate him.

*gasps*

I ate his little face, I ate his guts, and I ate the way he’s always barking! So I gave him to the church.

Oh, I see. You hate him so you gave him to the church.

Aye. I also ate the mess he left on me rug. You heard me!

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"God bless America, Cloud Mario. you are the saviour and king."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Everyone loves Manic! I even sold a bottle to Mrs Conway the diabetic and a six pack to the paramedics that rushed her to the hospital.”

 

[Yoshi155]

I’ll keep it short and sweet. Family, friendship, religion. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

 

[Suguri]

Everything changes. Sometimes it's scary, sometimes it's a relief, and sometimes it means dinner's ready. -Pascal

 

[Yoshi155]

Smithers, why didn’t you tell me about this market crash?

Um… well… sir, it happened 25 years before I was born.

Oh, that’s your excuse for everything.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Barney and Betty both holding a cake*
“Happy anniversary!”
*Fred and Wilma both glare angrily at each other and start yelling*
“YOU FORGOT!!!!!!!!!”
“I can’t believe you forgot our anniversary!”
“Time flies when you’re having fun.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Hey, aren’t you that guy everybody hates?

Oh, my, no. I’m Monty Burns.

 

[Suguri]

What's a Apple Watch?

Beats me!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Fleas jump onto Mr Harriman’s arm and he screams as they take control over it and make him slap himself*
“WHAT IS HAPPENING?!”
“STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF!”

 

[Yoshi155]

See that, boy? Why aren’t you making any business deals?

*whining* I’ll do it this afternoon.

 

[Yoshi155]

Remember millionaire C. Montgomery Burns? The man who blocked out our son, ran over a local boy, and stole Christmas from 1981 to 1985? Well, guess who’s flat broke and picking up trash for a living?

Please be Flanders, please be Flanders, please be Flanders.

 

[SkyKnight03]

"Whenever I get to liking someone, they ain't around long".

"I notice when you get to 'disliking' someone they ain't around for long either".

 

[Yoshi155]

I was a fool to help that horrible old man.

I hope you’ve learned your lesson, Lisa. Never help anyone.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Good job, everyone. You just got pwned by a towel."

 

[Yoshi155]

What’s the matter, robot? Got a rod up your spine?

Yes, I do. That’s how I’m built.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Oh, hello there. Would you like to die?"

"AAAUGHH! WINNIE THE POOH! WINNIE THE POOH!"