The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

All right, New York. I’m coming back. But you’re not getting this! *throws wallet into the fireplace*

Dad, our baby pictures were in there.

Don’t you start!

 

[Yoshi155]

Hey, Marge, I can’t feel my legs. I can’t feel my legs!

Homer, those legs belong to the man behind you.

 

[ShadowLelouch97]

S-stop trying to drag me further into y-your meat dimension!

 

[Yoshi155]

They expect me to sit here from 9:00 to 5:00? That’s… how many hours? 10, 11… denominator.

 

[QueenCobra]

“Om za Gleb!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Mmm… now, what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?

Mountain Dew or crab juice.

Blech! Ew! Jeez! I’ll take a crab juice.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Here’s some really good advice: Never marry a man really into shoes.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I had sex with Iago!”
“The parrot?”
“I didn’t know it was him! He was imitating Aladdin’s voice!”

 

[Yoshi155]

*gasps* Mom, are the rabbits dead?

No, no, Lisa. They’re just… sleeping… upside down and inside out.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“His wife brainwashed him and I had to remind him that I exist! I mean I EXIST! I REALLY EXIST!”
“Louise?”
*Louise is scared and uncomfortable*
“I think you exist.”

 

[Yoshi155]

How frightfully rude. I certainly hope someone stabs him in the eye.

 

[Yoshi155]

And for the tribute, I need a volunteer to do an oral report on Principal Skinner’s life.

Miss Hoover, which one is “oral”?

Out of your mouth, Ralph. Volunteers?

*Lisa and Ralph raise their hands*

Thank you, Lisa.

No, Miss Hoover, I’m Ralph.

I only need one volunteer, Ralph.

Miss Hoover, which one is “one”?

Ralph and I could do the report together.

It’s your funeral.

Miss Hoover?

 

[QueenCobra]

“You don’t remember the old man who read your palm in Cuba?”
“Nobody read my palm in Cuba.”

 

[Yoshi155]

When I grow up, I wanna be a principal or a caterpillar.

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m… an impostor. That man is the real Seymour Skinner.

*gasping*

Keep looking shocked and move slowly towards the cake.

 

[Yoshi155]

It’s kind of a funny story, really. After five years in a secret POW camp, I was sold to China for slave labor. And since ‘77, I’ve been making sneakers at gunpoint in a sweatshop in Wuhan.

That’s not a funny story.

Well, I guess you had to be there.

 

[QueenCobra]

“You knew it was gonna be hot when you heard that lonesome slide guitar and that hawk's cry.”

 

[Midoriya]

"If Regular Show were an anime, Pops's death would have been bloody, brutal, and intense..."

"Yeah, he's an old man, and he dies at the end of Regular Show to save Mordecai and the others. BUT, if it were an anime... he would have gotten ******* decapitated, and Mordecai would be like (in Japanese), 'POPS-SAMAAAAAAAAAA!!!'"

"And then Mordecai would turn to Rigby and be like, 'Rigby-Kun, we must leave. Pops did what he had to do.'"

"Mannnnnn, that's crazy."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I didn’t jump out of a plane with what turned out to be a torn parachute, land on my back on top of a tractor, and then got up miraculously unharmed and then have my sister fall on top of me and snap my C7 only for me to lose this game!”

 

[Yoshi155]

He lied about his name.

His name doesn’t matter. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Not if you called them stench blossoms.

Or crap weeds.

I’d sure hate to get a dozen crap weeds for Valentine’s Day. I’d rather have candy.

Not if they were called scum drops.