The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

Okay, once more, where are we going?

Capitol City.

And why are you and the old lady in the car?

We’re gonna talk Armin Tamzarian into coming back.

And why is Marge here?

I came up with the idea.

And why am I here?

Because the streets of Capitol City are no place for three unescorted ladies.

And why are the kids here?

Because we couldn’t find Grampa to sit for them.

And why is Grampa here?

Because Jasper didn’t want to come by himself.

Fair enough.

 

[Yoshi155]

I imagine that’s what Bowser gets called by his girlfriend: dark ‘n crispy. But that’s beside the point. Don’t think about that.

 

[kisaker39]

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Man holding a mole*
“Are you staring at my mole?”
“Uh no.”

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m sorry, little girl. We don’t just put people on TV. Unless, of course, they’re replying to an editorial.

Uh, I am. I’m strongly opposed to Proposition… 305.

You’re against discount bus fares for war widows?

You bet I am.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"well I'll have you know that I am a member of more than twenty exclusive clubs, all across the sea-bottom!"


"what did he say?"

"I don't know, something about his nose?"

 

[Yoshi155]

You may remember me from such medical films as Alice Doesn’t Live Anymore and Mommy, What’s Wrong with that Man’s Face?

 

[ShadowLelouch97]

"It's unnerving to wake up on your own and find someone staring at you."

 

[Yoshi155]

What is she doing out there? I’ll cut off her mike.

No, no, no. Let her speak. I’m trying to get fired.

 

[Suguri]

Do you have anything you want to say to women for having owned this offensive magazine?

I'm sorry women.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Woman from the legs down baby talking to Garfield*
“Aww look at the wittle Kitty Witty! You’re so cute I just wanna pick you up and squeeze you!”
*Garfield turns and walks away*
“Where are you going?”
“Kitty Witty is going to go pukey Wukey in the grassy wassy now.”

 

[Yoshi155]

I don’t know much about this network, but I can recite every line of the cutscenes in Sonic Adventure 2 if you asked me.

 

[rocketspruggs]

"Good gravy!"

"Oh, thank you, it's just brown and water."

 

[Yoshi155]

Is he badly hurt, Dr. Zoidberg?

I… I don’t quite know how to say this. Fry is dead!

…owwww.

Wait, not dead, the other thing.

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m back, baby!

Bender! I thought the Robot Mafia killed you!

Nah, they just shot us and buried us a few times as a warning.

 

[Suguri]

*whispering* I'll get you, my pretty!

I get that you're pretty!

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh, twaddle-squat. There’s no scientific consensus that life is important.

Yeah! Life, schmife.

 

[Yoshi155]

I’ll miss her too, buddy. …dibs on her iPod!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Oh Donny! I love you! *Whispering* Not really!”

 

[Suguri]

Everybody knows the moose evolved from birds, just like people did. But somewhere along the line people got arms, and the moose got stuck with those useless horns.

-Greg Heffley