The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’m not Floyd. I’m Hubert.”
“Oh we are so happy to see you again!”
*Bender looks uncomfortable*
“This probably isn’t the best time to tell you guys this but a couple of years ago a drifter came by and said he was the Professor’s brother Floyd and I….”
“Stop making this about you, Bender!”
*Bender looks sad*

 

[QueenCobra]

“Hip hop is my passion. I love to pop and lock and jam and break!”

 

[Midoriya]

"You cannnnnn do annyyythinnnnng,

it's in a book,

just take a look,

it's a reading Rambo!"

*All of a sudden Rambo appears with a gnarly motorcycle and a book in his hands*

"Hey there, kids. It's me, Rambo. You know, as much as I love jumping out of places while they explode and intense CGI effects, what I love even more is reading. Reading opens to the door to so many more worlds and ways of thought. It is truly one of the greatest gifts to mankind. So when you're thinking about what to do next, go pick up a book, and read."

*The video ends*

"So, what do you guys think?"

"...you're fired."

 

[Yoshi155]

Please feel free to fill out a brief survey after your visit. Your opinions matter to us. Unless you didn’t have fun, then we don’t care.

 

[Yoshi155]

We here at Eggman’s Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park consider ourselves the universe’s first fully green amusement park. Although the green is from all the nausea and vomiting, but still, green is green.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I wasn’t ready for a racist sounding sushi roll floating at the bottom of the ocean preaching Bible lessons to Christian fish! How is it even a sentence?! How is this a thing?!”

 

[Yoshi155]

^SABERSPARK?

There’s no line at “Bake Me Crazy,” the ride that simulates what it’s like to be baked like a cake. The ride itself lasts an amazing 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. Not recommended for our guests who are sensitive to temperatures exceeding 350 degrees.

 

[SkyKnight03]

"I, the great Mido, will never
accept you as one of us!
Shoot! How did you get to be the
favorite of Saria and the Great
Deku Tree? Huh?!
Grumble...grumble...".

 

[Yoshi155]

Attention, the anti-gravity toilets on this level are out of order. We are sorry for this inconvenience and hope you can hold it for another 20,000 light years.

 

[Midoriya]

"I just farted too, and it stinks. Watch the Popeyes commercial lady narrate it like,

woooeee! that fart was WAY too smelly!!

love that chicken at Popeyes!"

 

[Yoshi155]

Just a reminder, please refrain from pushing buttons on the starship. Occasionally one might jettison you into space. If this happens, your next-of-kin will be billed for the replacement hatch.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Mouse!"

"No, thanks. I'm full."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“The Harry Potter fish and Joy just float around from place to place listening to Bible stories. That’s the entire movie.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“So if you’re depressed, just stop feeling sad. The Harry Potter fish told you so.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Remember to try out the new and improved waterslides! Now with 20% less raw sewage!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“THIS CAKE IS TAINTED! LITERALLY TAINTED!!!!!!!”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Happy 80th birthday to E. Norma Stitz of Quitman! Happy birthday to you, Miss E. Norma.”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Why would you draw those things?! Those horrible, awful, sexy things?!"

 

[Yoshi155]

Water you waiting for? Climb aboard the Exotic Aquarium for a boatload of- Argh, who writes this drivel?!

You do, boss.

Oh, you’re right, I do! Ha ha, I’m hilarious!

 

[SkyKnight03]

"I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle"!

"I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose".