The out of context quotes thread

[xSuperMario64x]

"don't tell me even jesus christ himself wants a hat." -poofesure

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“You spent $700 on a necklace just to steal $10 gloves?”
“Shut up!”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Yeah, I'd be winning too if I was cheating." -Poofesure

 

[Midoriya]

"I'm on cloud nine, no, ten!"
*sky immediately changes to thunderstorm weather*

-Iono in my Pokemon Scarlet game

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"what a ****in five-head move" -poofesure

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"**** giraffes" -poofesure

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“If I can’t have a baby brother, can I have a kitten named Larry?”
“Of course.”
“Is Larry on tv?”
“No which why this is super weird!”

 

[Ravenkitty22]

“What’s going on? I heard screaming.”
“You did NOT just let our pure innocent nerd character get stabbed by some titan newt with a ****ing FLAME SWORD!”
“… This is about that frog show you’ve been watching with Lily, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” *nods in defeat*

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Bob Barker: "so you're a therapist for the criminally insane?"

Contestant: "yes."

Bob: "well then you'll feel right at home here."

 

[BakaRina]

"I'm sorry for what happened earlier."
"How did you get in here?"
"I'm not here to discuss you lack of home security, I'm here to apologize."

 

[BakaRina]

"I don’t like your accusatory tone."
"Well, I’d use a different tone, but I’m trying to accuse you of something."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Where’s Scottie?! What are you doing?!”
“Burying beer. Oh crud! That means I drank gopher poison!”

Post automatically merged: Nov 24, 2022

“Hey Mom? Wanna play Russian Roulette?”
“How many bullets?”
“One in every chamber.”
“I’m in!”

 

[BakaRina]

"She may seem calm, but it’s a calm anger, which is a much scarier type of anger."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Two points, baby! Two points! That's two more than I usually get." -Poofesure

 

[BakaRina]

"Are you suggesting that I occasionally stray away from the rulebook?"
"No, I'm suggesting that you do not own a copy of the rulebook and if you do, you have certainly never opened it."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"There's literally a guy mowing the lawn. I'M TRYING TO CREATE NEW LIFE IN HERE! Wonder if he'll mow the lawn for Craptown Island..."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“When something you loves depends on you, you just wanna take care of it make sure it’s safe. You know what I mean?”
“Not really. No.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“He makes me wear a Jasmine costume sometimes. The red one!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Don’t worry. I don’t have low self esteem. It’s a mistake.”
“I’ll say.”
“I have low esteem for everyone else.”

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"I'm real tired of poop stains." -my friend