The out of context quotes thread

[-Mars-]

"Wait, what's happening? why is the screen turning white?"
"Um, I believe it's called a flashback so that the player remembers what happened in the last chapter"
"UGGGGGGGHHHH I hate cutscenes! Skip! Skip! Skip!"
"Quiet! You can't make decisions for the player!"
*player watches two cutscenes in a row*
"Dang it are we finally done with the cutscenes already? Can we get back to the game now? I'm in the middle of trying to kick this boss's ass"

 

[DarkOnyx]

"I need an adult!"
"So even though you have broken my heart yet again, I wanted to say, in another life I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you."
"Does not compute! Does not compute! I'm just kidding. I mean, it doesn't compute, but I'm not going to explode or anything."

 

[Beanz]

me to my brother: “go away you little fart”

my brother: “noo im not a little fart”

me: “that’s right, you’re the whole poop”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Wow. Maybe we should have stayed with that plot.”
“Yeah. Seems way more interesting than our heavy handed social commentary on workers’ rights.”

 

[Shellzilla_515]

"In today's video, we are going to be racing against a T-rex around the Nordschleife!"

 

[Midoriya]

"Zumba class be like,
I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT,
I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT,
you like to MOVE IT!
I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT,
I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT,
I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT,
you like to
MOVE IT!
I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT
YOU LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT,
SHE LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT,
he like to
MOVE IT!
ALL GIRLS ALL OVER THE WORLD
ORIGINAL KING JULIEN PON YA CASE MAHN,
I LOVE HOW ALL THE GIRLS A MOVE THEIR BODY,
AND WHEN YOU MOVE YOUR BODY, YOU GOT TO MOVE IT NICE AND SWEET AND SASSY, ALRIGHT?
WOMAN!
PHYS-IC-ALLY FIT,
PHYS-IC-ALLY FIT,
PHYS-IC-ALLY PHYS-IC-ALLY PHYS-IC-ALLY FIT,
WOMAN!
PHYS-IC-ALLY FIT,
PHYS-IC-ALLY FIT,
PHYS-IC-ALLY PHYS-IC-ALLY PHYS-IC-ALLY FIT!
I too like to receive intense party dance lessons from a wild lemur that's high as a kite."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Yum. It’s rich in bunly goodness.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Mr Burns! I’m flaming!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“And darling, what is this whole chapter on laundry?”
“It’s a metaphor.”
“A what?”
“A metaphor!”

 

[-Mars-]

"Fox I need you to-"
[Screaming voice]: "I'M MAKING MAC 'N CHEESE AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!!"

"Fox please just do something REASONABLE this time for once in your life"
[Annoying loud shouting voice]: "OKAY!"
*Blows up an entire planet*

"Listen to your instincts Fox, what would your father do in this situation?"
*Melee Fox noises intensifies*

 

[oddbear]

“I have so much emotional baggage it’ll make you wish you didn’t take the bellboy position.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Potter, do something! Tell them I mean them no harm!”
“I’m sorry, Professor. I must not tell lies.”

 

[Ravenkitty22]

“I should start calling you Luz Noceda, because damn Lauren, you are one traumatized nerdy badass.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’m thinking of the Titanic sinking using my imagination.”
“IMAGINING THE SINKING OF THE TITANIC?! THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED! YOU WERE RIGHT THERE!!!!”

 

[BakaRina]

"Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?"
"You’re a hazard to society."
"And a coward. Do twenty."

 

[Midoriya]

*triumphant trumpet music plays in the background*
"Hello and welcome everyone, to the 170,000TH HUNGER GAMES!!!"
"Now, you would think the Hunger Games wouldn't still be happening, but uh, no one has challenged the authority of the Hunger Games in many ages!"
"Now, let's reveal the districts participating!"
...
*curtain rises over one more team as weird, disfigured silhouettes appear*
"Now introducting one extra district this year, the Half Dead Kind Of Really Dead Guys district!"
"They're half dead, Jim, but certainly not in spirit... maybe."
"Now... let the 170,000th Hunger Games begin!"
*blaring horns sound*
"What's this, Ted? The Half Dead Kind Of Really Dead Guys district is being pursued by District 3, known as the Feral Destroyers district!"
"Oh no, Jim, this isn't looking good for them. They're crawling, but not making it that far."
*pitfall opens as all of District 3's team members fall into it*
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"What a surprising turn of events! The Half Dead Kind Of Really Dead Guys district LURED District 3 into a death trap!"
"That's right Ted, and you wouldn't think they'd be smart enough for that, considering they're well, uh, half dead and all, but they really did it!"
"Now the Half Dead Kind Of Really Dead Guys district is retreating into the jungle. Just what move will they pull next? Only time will tell." (I really need a better job!)

 

[BakaRina]

"We meant ‘stronger’ here, right?"
"What does it say?"
" ‘I’m proud to report that our team is stranger than it was a year ago.’ "
"That’s a typo."
"It could go either way."

 

[-Blue-]

Lisa, her teeth are big and green. Lisa, she smells like gasoline. Lisa, da-da-da-deesa. She is my sister. Her birthday, I missed-a!

... Uh no

 

[VanitasFan26]

"I did nothing. The pavement was his enemy."​

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Maybe we could rapidly evolve into water creatures."
(sarcastically) "That's genius, Sid."
"Call me Squid."
- - - - -
"Look! I opened my camp - Campo de Sid! That means Camp of Sid."
"Congratulations. Now you're an idiot in two languages."