The out of context quotes thread

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"The masks? Uh, don't ask. It was a phase."
"Yeah, uhh... How much for this one that's whispering dark secrets to me?"
"Uhhh, I dunno... Five rupees?"
"Aw, sweet! Thanks, mister!"

 

[Shellzilla_515]

"He'd rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in his ear."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Blame Canada! Blame Canada!"
"They're not even a real country anyway."

 

[Ravenkitty22]

“Are you a rainbow frog gay or a dark/murder gay?”
“You just described by two sides.”

 

[WhiteLily210]

"Golf sins forgiven here!"
"??? There's a golf church in that store? Better yet, what are golf sins?"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I can’t feel my legs! I CAN’T feel my legs!”
“Yeah. We don’t got any legs so I think you’re concussed.”
“I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS!”

 

[Midoriya]

"I know something's up here... you're definitely guilty of interfering in the investigation!"
"I already told you, I'm not guilty! My hands are clean of this!"
"Somethings definitely smells fishy here though..."
"Um, McDougal?"
"What?"
"There's a leftover tuna sandwich in front of you."
"Oh... right."

 

[Seastar]

"This is a clothing store."
"Who wants clothes?"
"ME!"
"Here you go!" *hands an atomic bomb*
"I don't want clothes anymore."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Either I am really hammered or you and your friends all look the same.”
“It’s a bit of both.”

 

[tntduo]

I spent some time researching this and looking back, and saw a couple threads like this, but not quite the same.

Basically, in this thread you can post ANY out of context quote either from TBT or something a fictional character or someone has said. Only rules are to follow TBT rules and guidelines and don't post anything inappropriate or that could break the rules. This is basically the Post an out of context photo on your PC/phone thread, just with text instead of images. Go!

Example:

"I have so missed these conversations with you!"
"You mean the ones where you gloat, and I'm tied up?"
"You see? The way you get to the heart of the matter is always so refreshing.
So entertaining. I'd keep you as a house pet, if I didn't fear you'd somehow escape and burn me to a crisp in my sleep."
"I would, and I would,"
"I have no doubt.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Your first driver’s license. My boys are growing up. Soon you’ll be drafted and go off to fight and die in some God forsaken rice paddy and for what? For what?” *Starts sobbing*”
“Dad! She’s doing it again!”
“Pickles, dear, good news. Two more designated drivers in the house.”
“Mommy’s back!”

 

[-Mars-]

"How big is the galaxy?"
"Bigger than your father's debt"
"Bigger than your mother's butt"
"Bigger than your brother's ego"
"Combine"
"Wowww that sounds huge!!"

 

[oddbear]

“What was a detective doing on security detail, might I ask? …If it was only a concert?”

”My thoughts exactly. But, orders are orders. Even when they come from rock gods.”



”…Stop polishing your forehead and start polishing your character, ja?”

”(Cmon, can’t I be cool for once?)”

 

[frogslime]

"BECAUSE YOU WERE GONNA SEND THAT FURRY BIBLE THING
I HATE THAT SM "

"Okay! I'll sleep even better knowing you can see me and smell me "

- "Why's your stomach hurt?"
- "I have no clue!
It's been like this for awhile and it will probably pass
Oh also tmrw I'm robbing your house"

"I don't even have trauma"
"Why do you do half the stuff you do"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“And here is Mrs. Hubbard. I don’t know her first name.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“If your parents have been missing for a year now, what have you been eating?”
“I’ve been mostly eating the rejected wedding cakes from the dumpster of the bakery next door.”
“I don’t think that’s very healthy..”
“Oh relax. I get two of the three major food dyes. Red and white. Mostly white.”
*Crow flies in*
“Oooo! It’s a nice juicy crow! Quick! Give me the net!”

 

[frogslime]

"You're not in love. You may think you are, you dumb ****, but you're not."
"Yeah- Well, how do you know the difference?"
"She's half chicken."

"This is science"
"But this is a turtle"

"It seems that, uh, government workers are immune to hypnotism. It's like their souls are dead or something."

"37 wives and you still cannot read the room when a woman needs some attention"

"Why's all this dust on the floor in the shape of a body? Reminds me of Carol... Y'know how she's kinda like that shape and that smell?"

"I went into the lounge the other day and there was blood all over my nice antique couch"
"Which one? The red one?"
"Well it's red now, yeah"

"Some of my wives were girl wives, some of them were guy wives. It's not that different."

 

[Midoriya]

"Did we lose the dinosaurs chasing us?"
"I think so."
"Phew..."
*cellphone starts ringing*
"Hola, yo sólo te conocí,
y esto es loco,
pero aqui es mi numero,
so llameme tal vez,
Hola, yo sólo te conocí,
y esto es loco,
pero aqui es mi numero,
so llameme tal vez,"
*velociraptor cries can be heard closeby*
"What the heck is that song, bro? Turn your phone OFF!"
"It's Call Me Maybe in Spanish, and I can't! I literally can't because it's jammed!"
"Crap."
*ringtone continues to play*
"Yo como taco buen buen buennnnnnos,
yo como taco buen buen buennnnnnnos,
hola..."
"I can't believe the last thing I'll hear before I die is a dumb song in another language."
"Ummm.... what is John doing?"
*group looks at John dancing to the music as a velociraptor pounces on him and eats him alive*
"Everyone, RUN!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Our plane crashed and we had to eat the other passengers for an entire year in order to survive.”
“Why Helga, you look good enough to eat!”
*Horrified Gasp*

 

[oddbear]

"slap a shamrock on it, b****."