The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

Divorced? Oh no. Does that mean you and Dad don't love me anymore? This is all my fault, isn't it?

Yeah, kind of.

Dude, you're not supposed to say that!

 

[Yoshi155]

What do you think about?

Well, girls. I mean boys! I mean you!

 

[QueenCobra]

“I’m Clark, and I like biscuits and waffles!”

 

[TN4U]

"What's the matter?"
"Oh, I have a headache..."
"It might be a tumor."
"It's not a tumor! It's not a tumor, at all!"

 

[Yoshi155]

I used to hate the smell of your sweaty feet. *sniffs the money* Now it's the smell of victory.

Oh, shut up.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“These action figures make excellent gifts for Christmas, Hanukkah, anniversaries, or as a substitute for love!”

 

[QueenCobra]

“You look like a Jewish manicurist and I hate you.”

(from a note Antony Armstrong-Jones left to his wife Princess Margaret)

 

[Yoshi155]

Meatwad, why did call me in the middle of July?

I want me some presents. I've been a good boy for the first quarter of this year and most of the second quart-

It's the middle of ****ing July. I was sleeping.

 

[Yoshi155]

Please pardon me while I rip my eyes out.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"THROW THE ****ING CUPCAKES RYAN" -poofesure

 

[Yoshi155]

Ms. Crabtree, there's another creepy homeless guy on the bus.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“To save a marriage why it’s a cinch!
All you need is some Who punch and a night with the Grinch.”

 

[Yoshi155]

What the hell just happened?

Damn, I thought fourth grade was gonna be different.

 

[-Blue-]

What if we don’t get to Europe? What if they send us to North Africa?
My brother’s in North Africa, he says it’s hot.
Really? It’s hot in Africa?
Shut up.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Eh. My secret room is bigger.”
“Mine’s smaller!”

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"Jk. there we don't go. It hit perfectly at the sand crack, and bounced straight up, and rested there shortly after. a novel by Poofesure, Hitting the Sand Crack with your Golf Ball."

 

[Yoshi155]

Well, maybe I'll take half a hit of acid.

I want fwee!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I haven’t seen this many queens since I attended Jim Nabor’s pool party!”

 

[axaniao]

soda helps you see faster!

 

[rosefairy]

Mother always taught me... never eat singing food.