Biological sex as gender is something most societies currently teach and reinforce through gender norms, gender roles, and assigning colours to particular genders - especially to children - at every turn. I have worked with children from all parts of the gender spectrum. The idea that a 3 year who looks biologically male but says - consistently, persistently, and insistently that they are, in fact, a girl is "too young to know what they're saying" (which is a common thing to hear from someone well-intentioned but lacking in any relevant background) is a fundamental misunderstanding of how very young children develop.
Neurotypical children by age 3 have already learned to categorise and discriminate (the literal meaning, not the damaging one) using multiple characteristics simultaneously (all baby animals that live on land, all baby animals that live in the water, etc) as well as subjective criteria (grouping their favourite toys in sub categories - figures, soft toys, cars, etc - seperately to their next favourite and then least favourite ones). They are well and truly capable of understanding that sometimes a "man" can look different to other men, but still be a man - or that that "man" might not wish to be called a man at all, and that whatever they choose to be called, is okay.
One of the reasons children are able to be so accepting is that they have not yet formed the - often rigid and implacable - patterns of thought that adults have. If a child is never exposed to different types of gender expression then it is going to be a challenge for that child as an adult to understand the reality that some people just don't fit the gender binary. My heart aches for those children who grow up in environments where they have no frame of reference to understand what is "wrong" with them, let alone aware that there are others like them - whatever their issue actually is - and help and support available to them, if they only knew where to ask to get it.
Importantly, there is a distinct difference between children who are experiencing body dysphoria, and children who express their identity in ways that conform stereotypically with their gender. They are not the same thing at all :
For these children, though, parental permissiveness around gender expression didn?t address the underlying issue: their gender identity.
?They don?t feel that that represents who they are,? Olson explained. ?They aren?t just a boy who likes dresses?they feel that they are, in fact, a girl.?
http://www.thedailybeast.com/conten...kids-are-being-rushed-into-transitioning.html
From a recent study of fully socially-transistioned 3-5 year olds, cis-gendered children, and a third group of cis-gender siblings of transgender and gender nonconforming children :
Ultimately, the researchers found that the transgender children were remarkably similar to their cisgender peers, discovering that ?young transgender children were just as likely as [cisgender] children to (a) show preferences for peers, toys, and clothing culturally associated with their expressed gender, (b) dress in a stereotypically gendered outfit, (c) endorse flexibility in gender stereotypes, and (d) say they are more similar to children of their gender than to children of the other gender.?
and
One key difference, however, was that transgender children ?were less likely to see other people?s gender as stable over time? compared to the control group. But the fact that siblings of transgender and gender nonconforming children were also less likely to see gender as unchangeable suggests to the authors that ?this effect may be the result of knowledge that gender is not stable over time for some people.?
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articl...and-cisgender-kids-aren-t-that-different.html
Now, gender preferences in toys do not appear in children from birth :
Gender preferences for toys only show up after children learn about their gender. Babies show no preference, Brown says.
In fact, when it comes to the actual toys kids like to play with, there is more variability within a gender than there is between genders, says Sweet. For example, she points out that studies of young children have shown that boys are no more likely than girls to enjoy playing with a toy with wheels, something traditionally given to boys.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeand...ls-boys-childhood-development-gender-research
I really like the quote the article ends on :
?All toys are gender neutral,? says Brown. ?What is not neutral is the way toys are marketed.?
- if it's a toy for children, it is for all children of the appropriate age and developmental stage and above. If it's *not* a toy for children - meaning it's an "adult" product - then it's not for children. There's no biological or other reason to decide certain toys are for girls or boys.
But for young children growing up in this chaotic, marketing-driven, hyper-capitalistic world, they're doing the best they can to survive and grow and make sense of themselves and the world around them. The lucky ones are doing so in families that love and support them, whether they fit traditionally in the gender binary or not.
Our modern era didn't create trans people, gender fluidity, bisexuality, or anything else along those lines. These are things that have existed for as long as people have been recognisably human. They will exist as long as humanity remains recognisably human. In the past, we just lacked the science necessary to understand these complex concepts.
