What's bothering you?

[Brackets]

Have you talked to him about it general or does he just do it at random? If you want to keep him as a friend either talk to him now or give him some distance before you talk again. As for mutual friends, have you talked to them as well?

He does it quite randomly, we'll just be talking then he'll suddenly mention it and get upset. He's always been a bit insecure, he has really bad anxiety and depression, which is one of the reasons I wanted to stay friends with him because I'm worried he's not coping too well at the moment (although he broke up with me, not the other way round). Yeah I think I'll give it some space. Haven't talked to the mutual friends recently, well at least not about him.

Oh and I'm not 'sleeping around' thanks, reindeer.

 

[Jade_Amell]

It's getting colder out now. I really hate the cold. ><

 

[KarlaKGB]

Space & time. He evidently can't handle the fact that you have moved on. Has it occured to you that you are adding to his depression? He has his own friends. Relying on you as a crutch will never work out because you won't always be there for him.

 

[Alienfish]

He does it quite randomly, we'll just be talking then he'll suddenly mention it and get upset. He's always been a bit insecure, he has really bad anxiety and depression, which is one of the reasons I wanted to stay friends with him because I'm worried he's not coping too well at the moment (although he broke up with me, not the other way round). Yeah I think I'll give it some space. Haven't talked to the mutual friends recently, well at least not about him.

Oh and I'm not 'sleeping around' thanks, reindeer.

Yeah or just ignore it in a friendly way if he is in that state, noone benefits from getting upset about it. And talk to your other friends if you can. But if you need to let him go so he gets more proper care, do it.

- - - Post Merge - - -

well ye i'm very good friends as well with an ex from high school, but those are the exception and not the norm

Yeah we've been friends since 6th grade more or less so yeah...

 

[Saylor]

My grades are stressing me out and this morning my mom told me she wants me out of the house. I'm not sure how serious she was being but I guess I'll find that out later.

 

[Brackets]

yeah I'm going to leave it. I thought we were cool as friends but he obviously still has these insecure and jealous feelings so its not fair on him

 

[Reindeer]

Oh and I'm not 'sleeping around' thanks, reindeer.

You're welcome.

Maybe you're not sleeping around per se, but the fact remains that you have slept with several people since the break-up. You two may have broken up as well but that doesn't mean the emotional attachment is magically gone. Doing that kind of thing after a break-up sends a message to a person that they're garbage, which as you might imagine hurts them emotionally. Of course he's gonna be bothered by it, and it's up to you whether or not you want to deal with that or not. Either cut him off or deal with him being hurt by your actions.

 

[KarlaKGB]

You're welcome.

Maybe you're not sleeping around per se, but the fact remains that you have slept with several people since the break-up. You two may have broken up as well but that doesn't mean the emotional attachment is magically gone. Doing that kind of thing after a break-up sends a message to a person that they're garbage, which as you might imagine hurts them emotionally. Of course he's gonna be bothered by it, and it's up to you whether or not you want to deal with that or not. Either cut him off or deal with him being hurt by your actions.

no shes free to do as she wants. banging other ppl after a breakup doesnt send a message that their ex is garbage, especially if it was the ex who initiated the breakup. the emotional attachment may be there, but thats part of being human.

 

[Reindeer]

no shes free to do as she wants. banging other ppl after a breakup doesnt send a message that their ex is garbage, especially if it was the ex who initiated the breakup. the emotional attachment may be there, but thats part of being human.

But that's how it comes across. I'm not saying she shouldn't watch her every step due to him, I'm telling her that she shouldn't complain if she both wants to **** other guys and be friends with this guy, because those two things are gonna clash. That's what the last line in my post means.

 

[Alienfish]

You're welcome.

Maybe you're not sleeping around per se, but the fact remains that you have slept with several people since the break-up. You two may have broken up as well but that doesn't mean the emotional attachment is magically gone. Doing that kind of thing after a break-up sends a message to a person that they're garbage, which as you might imagine hurts them emotionally. Of course he's gonna be bothered by it, and it's up to you whether or not you want to deal with that or not. Either cut him off or deal with him being hurt by your actions.

Eh.. how is that garbage? Also if they are being so butthurt they have more serious problems than just being sad emotionally.

 

[KarlaKGB]

But that's how it comes across. I'm not saying she shouldn't watch her every step due to him, I'm telling her that she shouldn't complain if she both wants to **** other guys and be friends with this guy, because those two things are gonna clash. That's what the last line in my post means.

i agree she shud have cut off her ex the moment he expressed discomfort with her banging other guys

 

[lazuli]

i found one of my kittens dead yesterday.
i shouldve brought them all in when it first started raining on wednesdya if i had it wouldnt be dead
its been raining and its cold and wet outside i dont think it could have handled it
the other two kittens were ok but the third was soaked and wouldnt move
the mom didnt seem to mind or know
we cant even get it to bury it its too wet out
rn the mom and the two are in my room
i feel so bad

 

[Alienfish]

i agree she shud have cut off her ex the moment he expressed discomfort with her banging other guys

Yeah she should have talked to him properly in the beginning and then cut it off but seeing as how far it went...And since they couldn't obviously been friends either,

 

[Reindeer]

Eh.. how is that garbage? Also if they are being so butthurt they have more serious problems than just being sad emotionally.

It's the way the mind works, especially with men.

>break up
>ex ****s a couple of others right after
>turns out i was garbage

It seems like a trivial thing when you stand outside of the situation, but I can understand why he's hurt. Especially when she mentions that he already dealt with anxiety and depression before, which would just worsen this thought pattern.

i found one of my kittens dead yesterday.
i shouldve brought them all in when it first started raining on wednesdya if i had it wouldnt be dead
its been raining and its cold and wet outside i dont think it could have handled it
the other two kittens were ok but the third was soaked and wouldnt move
the mom didnt seem to mind or know
we cant even get it to bury it its too wet out
rn the mom and the two are in my room
i feel so bad

I'm sorry to hear that. Just make sure to take really good care of the two others from now on.

 

[KarlaKGB]

It's the way the mind works, especially with men.

>break up
>ex ****s a couple of others right after
>turns out i was garbage

theres a logical break there somewhere. he dumped her.

 

[Alienfish]

Well.. sex =/= love

 

[Brackets]

Umm guys, he wanted to be friends with me. It's not like I'm making him upset by banging other guys and FORCING him to stay friends with me. I thought he'd be ok with it, as he initiated the break up and it had been several months. It wasn't like the week after. And we weren't even friends until AFTER I'd slept with the people, so I assumed he was cool with it, it's only in the last few days he seemed a bit jealous.

And no, it does not make him seem like garbage, that's ridiculous. People have sex, just because I've slept with someone since him doesnt mean he's worth any less. I think he's just jealous I moved on before him.

 

[KarlaKGB]

Well.. sex =/= love

well arguably it could also mean he was garbage in bed

 

[Alienfish]

well arguably it could also mean he was garbage in bed

Haha I true you on that.

However I think it's pretty childish of him to seriously be butthurt over it... I mean if you can't get over it not my problem sorry :/

 

[KarlaKGB]

Umm guys, he wanted to be friends with me. It's not like I'm making him upset by banging other guys and FORCING him to stay friends with me. I thought he'd be ok with it, as he initiated the break up and it had been several months. It wasn't like the week after. And we weren't even friends until AFTER I'd slept with the people, so I assumed he was cool with it, it's only in the last few days he seemed a bit jealous.

And no, it does not make him seem like garbage, that's ridiculous. People have sex, just because I've slept with someone since him doesnt mean he's worth any less. I think he's just jealous I moved on before him.

nobody said u were forcing him to stay friends with u, but at the same time he wasnt forcing u to stay friends with him either, was he??