>3 months after, actually
What's bothering you?
- Thread starter Sanaki
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>3 months after, actually
I know that very well. Also, you're trying to find logic in a depressed person's mind. Even if he was the one that initiated the break-up, there is still some emotional attachment lingering. Seeing the person he loved sleeping with other men, even if he was the one that broke up with her, can hurt very deeply.
It's not your intent, you mean. All I've been saying is that how it comes across to him.
From here on out it's fairly simple, though don't expect to not hurt him. Tell him that either he's gonna deal with it or that you two can't be friends. Put the ball in his court. If he chooses to stay friends but keeps complaining, just cut your conversations whenever he starts. Or just get rid of him outright. There's no reason one person should feel hurt and another be bothered by it if it's completely preventable.
3 months had passed and quite frankly she should have no obligation to tiptoe around his fragile emotions.
dude ur just repeating what others r saying and what shes already agreed to do
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And I never said that, you dumbass. I even said before that she shouldn't have to, but at the same time she should've also seen it coming. Simply because you don't understand the thought process behind it doesn't mean their pain disappears in thin air - it's there and it's real. The same way he can't expect her to watch her every step, she can't expect him to watch his feelings.
Don't call people a dumbass. Lashing out insults is rude and immature.
I never expected him to not be hurt - as I've already said, we weren't friends until AFTER I'd slept with the people, I didn't do it when we were friends and expect to carry on as normal. So, I didn't see anything coming because when I slept with the guys I was NOT on good terms with my ex.
I'm not expecting him to watch his feelings, he's a very fragile guy and I was surprised he approached me as a friend even though I'd slept with other people - that made me think he might be completely over me. But obviously at least for now it's not going to work. So as I've already said, I'll leave it.
Jade_Amell
Greenjade
Okay, he broke up with her, she slept with someone 3 months after. She moved on. It is his issue, not hers. If he is going to get all pissy about it, then he shouldn't have broken up with her. She doesn't have to walk on egg shells to spare his feelings. It was HIS idea.
Yeah but boys will be boys *cough*
dude thats rude
Well, I'm sorry that I'm not part of the Hug Corps.
Maybe it's because she's not guiltless in this situation. I know you people might not see it as that, because even after trying to tell you several times you still manage to not understand it. Her actions have hurt him and she should own up to it, not say "well I didn't know" or "I assumed he was over it". Being ignorant and making assumptions are two of the worst things you can do when dealing with people that are/were close to you, as it only leads to people being hurt, even if it was 3 months later. Call it being butthurt if you want, but that only showcases how little effort you're putting into understanding his side.
- - - Post Merge - - -
And seeing as there's more people coming in to ignore an entire side of the story... I'm out. Have fun, ladies.
Jade_Amell
Greenjade
Exactly. Boys. Not Men.
BUT! There are also some girls that do this so it isn't just guys. xP I had to explain this to one of my female friends a long time ago. Some people just need to learn how to wrap their heads around the "the other person moved on". Besides, it isn't romantic anymore going "omg, i'll luv u 4ever!" thing after they broke up.
Thank you for saying this. Yeah it's his problem, I do have some sympathy towards him though because he seems to still be quite mentally ill, and he has been pretty nice in the last few weeks (apart from the outbursts about me sleeping with other people) but yeah I'm not gonna let him make me feel guilty for moving on.. I went through so much **** for him and put up with so much and did so much for him, and he dumped me so... I'll do what I want haha. I think he's just a bit confused right now.
Jade_Amell
Greenjade
Why? I mean seriously why? Both sides of the story would equal to the same thing. She doesn't have to spare his feelings. If it was the other way around it'd be "HE doesn't have to spare her feelings." It's what moving on means.
I was pretty sarcastic there. In all serious debate-means it's just sad that people can't get over such a minor thing regardless of the issues around.
a) i empathise with him completely, that doesnt mean hes not wrong here.
b) one doesnt need to be a guy to empathise with him (ps. i have a penis)
c) ur actually the one who likes to ignore whole sides of stories. like the part where she banged those dudes when she wasnt in contact with her ex. and the part where her ex wanted to be friends with her afterwards, despite her banging all those guys.
d) pretty sure shes acknowledged that shes hurting him, intentional or not, justifiably or not.
e) y r u focused on her, and not her ex? is he guiltless here?
What so you're saying I should feel really guilty? Well I shouldn't.. Obviously I'd rather he hadn't been hurt by it, because I'm not a sociopath who enjoys hurting other people, but why should I feel bad about moving on from someone who dumped me? The issue here was that he was being confusing by wanting to be friends, but still being bitter about me sleeping with others. I haven't done anything bad.
SOOO I think all in all me and him shouldn't be friends right now, because I don't want to hurt him. I've already said this - so why are you acting like I'm being horrible or something?
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