I feel miserable whenever I'm at the dinner table. God, why can't my family just shut up about politics? They talk about it and listen to it on the television every single day. I'm sick and tired of hearing some lady scream about what the communists are doing in Vietnam. My family just cannot stop yapping about politics.
Also, I'm just so uncomfortable with my mother. I'm afraid to look at her sometimes, because she might think that I'm mad at her or something. She criticizes me whenever I have a 'weird' look on my face. If it's early in the morning and I just woke up, or if she barged into the bathroom, she will question me on why I'm not smiling or why I look so mad. If I look at her in a normal way or if I just look normal, she will still criticize me for having that 'look' on my face. It doesn't matter if I feel bloody awful, if I feel like absolute trash - they just want me to be cheerful. Ironically, I smile and laugh more at school than at home. Perhaps it's because I'm not forced to be happy.
My family does not care for my emotional needs; they don't give a damn about how I feel. I remember doing this experiment with my family about a month ago, just to see how they would react. I told them about the 'situation', and I started crying about it. They were quite cold to me, for the most part. My mother kept telling me to be strong, and told of how tough she was when my grandpa was in the hospital. I got criticized for showing my emotions. My mother's even said before that I shouldn't drag the family into my own personal matters. That sentence has been stuck with me for quite some time now, along with some others that are just as hurtful.
