What's Bothering You?

Hate it when my second sibling makes decisions by herself. Next week, my sibling and her SO were going to visit and stay in a hotel. I thought cool, I don't have to deep clean my room. My room acts as a guest room when people come over. Well, it turns out that her SO isn't coming but her friend is. As a result, they're going to stay in our house. I'm already stressed out as it is about Tuesday, now I need to add this. God, I hate next week already.
 
My family is sick, again…at least it’s not with Covid this time, I suspect it to be RSV. Poor Nicholas is just awful and I’ve taken him to the Dr twice and they said there’s nothing they can do for him because he’s too young for even children’s mucinex.
 
public transport is the worst in the evening cause your connections almost never times so you have wait obnoxiously long for your train/bus etc. to arrive and not to mention if you need to change to another one of those at some stop ugh...
 
I feel like I actually have PTSD. Now I'm gonna keep it short, because I feel unwell just thinking about it, but need to get it out.
I had guinea pigs almost all my life. Got my very first one when I was 8 years old. Come 2022.. I had to puy my beloved Bijou to sleep and shortly after gave away Trixi, the one that was left. Didn't want her to stay alone and found a beautiful new home for her. Turns out she died a few days after we gave her to her new home. I guess she was just too depressed that she lost her friend. She stopped eating, eventually died. When I read that the last guinea pig of mine was gone.. it hit me hard. Now it's still somewhat fresh, but yeah.. I have no more guinea pigs. Almost 18 whole years of me having guinea pigs. Not gonna lie, they helped me through a lot of hard times. Bullying, losing all my friends, changing school, abusive boyfriend, changing country, the list goes on. They were a huge part of my life. Now just the thought of guinea pigs make me have almost a panic attack. When I go to shop for my other animals to get food, I have to try and avoid the guinea pig section. I feel like breaking down into tears, heart racing, etc. I have a mug at home that says "I just freaking love guinea pigs, ok?"... I used to drink out of it almost daily. Now I can't without nearly throwing up. Just seeing it makes my heart race. Seeing guinea pigs in a animal shop makes me tear up. Once I was driving home and suddenly had a thought in my mind about a nightmare I had long time ago of my guinea pigs. Cold sweat, vision blurry. That was scary. I am wondering if I should actually go seek therapy.. but I feel like it's such a "stupid" reason. Like what must the therapist think. "She comes because she no longer has guinea pigs, lol". I don't know.. I guess for now I just have to see how it's gonna go. It just makes me sad. What was once "my whole life" is now something that makes me anxious just to think about.. :cry:
 
Under the weather today 😭 still sick, tired as heck... Slept maybe 12 hours total today between night sleep and a nap. Feel like I've wasted the day already... Need a good cold remedy ASAP
 
I may have to go home sooner than expected, since we’ll be moving soon apparently. Not sure where or when, but very soon.
 
here we go down the collectible hole again lol D:

mom's plush is super cute but also expensive so let's see how this goes...
 
My voices keep telling me my crush doesn’t like me and that I’d never meet them. I don’t actually mind if my feelings are not reciprocated (which they probably aren’t). I just wish the voices would quit trying to shame me.

I swear I have PTSD or something. I’ve had flashbacks every day for several years and I can’t walk into places with people in my age group without wanting to run away. The voices I’ve had since I was around 10 have also gotten worse over time. It’s always the same boy and girl I went to high school with. I also can’t be around people in my age group without thinking they’re gossiping about me. I got so used to being publicly shamed in school that I can’t even go anywhere without thinking every conversation people have is about me. The next time I have therapy I’ll make sure to bring the possibility up. I’m tired of living like this.
 
I really don't want to go to my graveyard shift. I always dread it, and it's even worse now because I'm alone so I'm afraid the higher-ups will all gang up on me and I'd have no one to be with. My schedule's also bad enough because I have to be present tomorrow morning for an orientation since I'm one of the liaisons, so basically I have to muster up some energy from 7PM - 12NN. I should also probably not do my part-time tomorrow after 12NN and reschedule another day, I swear I might faint from exhaustion ;;
 
There’s a video I watched. It was about “hating someone that is gay” or “hating someone that is -insert minority group here-.” It basically talks about how it’s okay that you’ve had a bad experience with someone part of a minority group or someone that is a certain thing. But their sexuality, gender, race, whatever isn’t the reason they are an ass, and it’s not okay to hate everyone in a particular group because you had one bad experience with someone of that group.

I guess it was eye opening for me, and maybe everyone should learn to be more accepting. I had a bad experience in the past with someone in a minority group, and I think that situation flipped a switch in my head. That was one of my worst panic attacks.
It was 3 years ago, but still…
 
Tried to create a special Tamagotchi for my baby, used hot glue for it and well.. I burned the hell out of my left thumb and my right hand. I managed to remove the glue fast enough from my thumb so I "only" have a very painful bubble, but on my right hand the glue hardened and literally took my skin off. It hurts like hell. Because getting a cold wasn't enough already for today.. T-T
 
There’s a video I watched. It was about “hating someone that is gay” or “hating someone that is -insert minority group here-.” It basically talks about how it’s okay that you’ve had a bad experience with someone part of a minority group or someone that is a certain thing. But their sexuality, gender, race, whatever isn’t the reason they are an ass, and it’s not okay to hate everyone in a particular group because you had one bad experience with someone of that group.

I guess it was eye opening for me, and maybe everyone should learn to be more accepting. I had a bad experience in the past with someone in a minority group, and I think that situation flipped a switch in my head. That was one of my worst panic attacks.
It was 3 years ago, but still…
Well written. There are bad eggs in almost every group/minority/community out there, and I think what one can do is ignore those and be accepting of those that are kind to you as well.

I will also say just because someone is from a group they don't deserve special treatment committee/tip-toeing around them either and use that as an excuse to be rude to others, though (I mean the 'special snowflake and I'm blunt not rude' type, not common courtesy things like asking for pronouns or similar).
 
Been waiting for like an hour and a half to get a WOF for my work vehicle. Probably should have gotten the workshop mechanics to take it in. Oh well, I won’t tell my boss where I’ve been as he’ll probably growl at me. I also really don’t fancy getting a fine for not having a valid WOF lol
 
ahh have to go to school tomorrow :mad:

i also have to attend a stupid meeting for a committee im apart of, idk why we have meetings every month, we don’t even do anything half the time.
 
my tongue is like covered in sores or something, it's really sensitive and every time it touches my teeth it hurts so much 😣

not to mention I have canker sores in my mouth so that's funnn
 
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