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What's Bothering You?

good news: tested negative for covid, so my luck of somehow not getting it even once continues (the rapid test wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be either, which is another small miracle). i was also finally able to see a doctor today after going to urgent care yesterday was a flop— the doctor was super nice, and i finally have some antibiotics to take. woohoo!

bad news: i hurt so bad and am so, so miserable. i don’t have an exact diagnosis beyond it not being covid, but it’s likely some sort of ear/throat infection mixed with a cold. ik it’s minor compared to other people’s struggles, but this sucks. so bad. i feel like i’m swallowing razor blades and i literally have to tense up just to swallow my own saliva. my eyes and the skin underneath them are so irritated, red, sore, and watery. i keep coughing, especially at night, which isn’t helping the throat situation. my ears keep crackling and popping (thankfully not too painfully anymore), and my hearing is impaired on both sides. my room has gotten so untidy because i just don’t have the strength to tidy it, i can’t talk to my friends because i’m miserable and lethargic and foggy. my stomach hates me, everything on me hurts, i’m nauseous and hardly have any appetite, and i’m barely able to get any sleep

praying these antibiotics work fast cause
IMG_2812.png
 
cw: body image, helicopter parents
I don't want to start a new work out and just want to chill for the rest of the week but being told my entire life that I'm fat keeps me in a constant state of body dysmorphia.

idk I've considered getting surgery or something even though I know it isn't necessarily the healthiest option for me... Something that guarantees I'll be skinny enough for my mom to be happy when she looks at me instead of moaning about how I've gained weight/ would be so pretty if I lost weight.

Also being the adult age I am and having my parents dictate what I'm allowed to do or who I'm supposed to be... bc defying them would just subject me to their hurtful words... fun!! fun fun fun.
 
I feel like I'm starting to get sick 😷

Also I made an appointment with my doctor about abdominal pains and hypoglycemia....the outcome of said appointment isn't going to be great
 
cut my side bangs too short, and now i look like gale weathers from scream 3 😭 it's literally so bad i'm too anxious to go into my volunteering job this week lmao. like, panic attack anxious. fun!
 
The cell service tower isn't working properly in my area. I can't connect to the internet with my phone. I can only connect to the internet through my laptop and my Switches.
 
I get really bad eye strain from my work monitor for some reason. I have the blue light filter turned all the way up, I use a dimming app because the lowest brightness is still too bright for me, I close my blinds to reduce glare and I'm conscious about blinking enough, but none of that seems to help much. I don't have this problem with any other screen. It's really inconvenient.

Edit: I turned the contrast right down and that seems to have worked? That was an easy fix for something that's been bugging me for weeks lmao
 
Last edited:
I feel a little better today mentally speaking, but physically I still feel really sick. I'm even having some pain/burning in my stomach, almost like acid reflux, which is odd. hopefully I can get myself to eat something this morning, or at the very least have a cup of coffee or some juice.

also can't wait to go into the local court for the first time in my young life so I can pay this damn speeding ticket fine haha, I suppose you haven't truly lived if you don't get at least one speeding ticket.
 
I feel like my relationship needs help but I also feel very unwilling to do anything because of how much I pulled my weight before honestly

No nice way to say this: I’m sick of myself 💔

my physical sickness also boosted my dysphoria as if i needed that
 
Lady parts problem
At first I was happy that I took my menstrual pills and raspberry leaf tea on time before the cramps kicked in. Therefore, they shouldn’t appear. It turns out that I was wrong.
 
My work can’t seem to make up its mind as far as the storm. First they were having normal hours then they were closing neatly and opening late tomorrow. Now they are back to normal hours and not closing early. I’m off today but worry about my coworkers trying to get home in the storm.
 
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