What's Bothering You?

i hate how unproductive i feel. there's things i want to do in life, but instead i binge watching videos and then regret it later. it happens all the time and i should know better by now, but i just always fall back into old habits and it's so frustrating. most of my life feels wasted away and i don't want to live life in regret. i know i just need to tell myself to go do those things i want to, but it's hard when having things like depression and not being able to express how i feel or think; i'm always trapped in my small bubble
In current times with covid etc it’s really hard (much harder than usual) to be productive. Don’t be so hard on yourself things will get better🌟
 
In current times with covid etc it’s really hard (much harder than usual) to be productive. Don’t be so hard on yourself things will get better🌟
Yeah I mean I don't expect good grade on my class considered they ****ed up demands but I def feel it.

Also I want Raymond so bad but unless my friend manage to get him again or someone want like my tbt and igb for him im out.
 
So irritating that people come in and out of my life as they please and I keep letting them 🙃
 
So the city of San Antonio declared referring to the coronavirus by the country of its origin (with the word virus) a hate crime. I’m never going back to San Antonio again. First, they banned Chick-fil-A from their airports over their corporate history. Then this? Political correctness is a human rights violation, and it needs to be abolished. What’s worse is that it’s a Texas city that’s doing it. Does it have no respect for the state’s values or the US Constitution?
 
my essay didn’t ****ing save are you kidding me. i’m literally going to scream
 
you only tolerate me when i’m doing well and that’s sad
 
Said a lot of things tonight. Idk. I’ll get over it in the morning.
Also it’s almost 2 am and I haven’t finished the chapter I was supposed to read by today. zzz
 
Yeesh, my family is super super superstitious and follows the whole zodiac compatibility and crap wholeheartedly. One of the reasons why I don't believe in that crap is them.
 
i feel like such an empty shell. nothing about me feels like who i am anymore. i've been a student my entire life & now that's suddenly changed. my friends who i've graduated with have mostly all found jobs somehow? and i feel like such a loser for not going to get a masters degree or having a job lined up. i feel so lame for being unemployed. i feel like a fraud for having to live with my parents.

my parents don't even acknowledge who i am. being in their home really puts me in a bad place. i can't live my life how i want to live it. they have some sort of preconceived idea about how i need to live, like because i'm home that means that i have to help them do/build/etc whatever they want help with, like i'm some form of free labor. they think that i need to find a job in my home town & never even think about moving away, that i can't spend time with friends or enjoy things that they, my parents, don't enjoy. being here is crushing me & there's nothing i can even do about it. financially i can't move. and i'll likely never be able to because we live in such a small town, there's never going to be a job opening that'll allow me to save.

i'm a little hopeless.
 
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