Dawnpiplup
Kick ass.
I think I'm too hard on myself.
Sounds like you deal with a lot heavy stuff, maybe find a balance?I think I'm too hard on myself.
Sounds like you deal with a lot heavy stuff, maybe find a balance?
i feel like such an empty shell. nothing about me feels like who i am anymore. i've been a student my entire life & now that's suddenly changed. my friends who i've graduated with have mostly all found jobs somehow? and i feel like such a loser for not going to get a masters degree or having a job lined up. i feel so lame for being unemployed. i feel like a fraud for having to live with my parents.
my parents don't even acknowledge who i am. being in their home really puts me in a bad place. i can't live my life how i want to live it. they have some sort of preconceived idea about how i need to live, like because i'm home that means that i have to help them do/build/etc whatever they want help with, like i'm some form of free labor. they think that i need to find a job in my home town & never even think about moving away, that i can't spend time with friends or enjoy things that they, my parents, don't enjoy. being here is crushing me & there's nothing i can even do about it. financially i can't move. and i'll likely never be able to because we live in such a small town, there's never going to be a job opening that'll allow me to save.
i'm a little hopeless.
annoyed with my parents. It's been an awful year with them. The fighting included mental abuse towards me and themselves, physical contact and the police. I'm tired. And lately both parents are pushing anger towards each other onto me. I'm being forced to do ACT prep classes and its just a lot for me, I'm mentally not doing well and I just wanna have time to myself. But my family thinks me being alone is me drama or mad, I'm not kidding when I say we hang out every day from morning to night.. When my brother came home my parents have put on a facade for my brother, like things were great when he was gone. I can't escape from this house cause of lockdown. I feel like I don't matter anywhere. Animal crossing is my relief but my mom/dad is taking all the time away and judging me for playing it. I'm just tired of it all and its like my family forgot the incidents in november and december. My brother was away at college so it was just me and my parents and things got bad as I stated. He wasn't here and I sheltered him to protect him from serious fights where I got hurt or where my parents sent threats. His sport is all that matters in my family. I'd give anything for him to make it. I've always been the shadow and I'm the one no one protects because I help my family from each other. My guy friend i had freshmen year who was like my big brother stopped talking to me. I have a therapist for the trauma but I feel like shes not doing much, I wasn't even allowed a therapist for years. I'm trying to save myself. Both my parents put me through so much and I'm so mad they think they can treat me this way when I saved them both from CPS.
Ugh sorry for the weepy post just angry today and stressed. I'm okay. I'm usually a happy and funny person