What's Bothering You?

[Xara]

Spoiler

god what i would give to be able to communicate like a normal person. every single thing i do and say feels wrong. the words i choose. the emojis i use and their placements. do i come across as annoying if i use too many emojis? do i come across as mean if i don’t use any? when should i say nothing? when should i say something??? i feel like an ******* if i stay quiet, i feel stupid and annoying if i say anything ever.

i am so, so tired of everything i say and do making my skin crawl. it’s just this awful feeling of shame all of the time, even if all i say is “hi”. i would give anything to know what to say and how to say it. i would give anything to be likeable. i would give anything to feel likeable. i look at all the relationships around me, all of the friend groups, and i fit in no where. i just exist. i am no one’s favourite. i just feel like there is something wrong with me, and it oozes out of everything i say and do, and everyone can sense it but me. i don’t even know what it is or how to fix it. it just taints my entire existence.

i would love to see me from someone else’s pov. just for a minute.

 

[Dunquixote]

This is very minor:

Spoiler

I‘m feeling stressed still even though I’m just doing the event.

I’m still butt hurt about something and with my best friend.

I’m a bit bummed I didn’t get any slots for Mario Party. I’m getting more worried I’m not going to get enough points by the end of the event. My fault though for getting so excited about the collectibles and thinking it’d be easy since I had more than one game. I feel dumb for not realizing that the sessions need to balance the team participants; I did realize about scheduling to make sure everyone gets a chance to play though. I’m not great at the mini games though, so at the same time, I don’t want to drag my team down; everyone on my team that watched my session and other things I participated in has been really great and kind. Still, I can’t help but feel bad since everyone is so good like at Splatoon. I’m having a blast, but I can’t help worrying about hurting my team and disappointing them.

With that being said, I’m really grateful for everyone’s patience with me and the cheers/support .

Sorry for being a broken record again. I do this all the time, get overexcited about things >.<.

I’m feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with the shiny hunting; no idea how to shiny hunt in arceus now that it got patched up. :/ Not far enough in Pokemon Violet and don’t want to rush. Haven’t had time too look for my old Pokemongame cartridges in my totes because I’m focused on tbtwc. I got too much stuff to go through when I can finally do that.

Honestly feeling overwhelmed when I open Pokemon Violet (which is why I usually hate open world games; I get easily overwhelmed). i haven’t had time to play that either.

 

[Suguri]

-snip-

Spoiler

I don't see anything wrong with you or your posts; in fact, I enjoy reading them. You're already likeable as you are!

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

My thesis defense is literally tomorrow and my Internet decides to crap out. It hasn't gone out completely, but it's making pages load reaaal slowly. Not ideal. I think it's the weather, and to that, I say... Crappy luck. Sorry that I'm not shutting up about my thesis paper. It's all I can think about besides anything else that would make me feel emotional. This thing is supposed to be 6 pages (not including table of contents, citations, etc)... I only have about 1-2 pages of written work and I already feel burnt out. Why am I struggling so much with this ****ing assignment? Why did I even procrastinate on something so big and important? Most of everyone else finished theirs already, and I'm just here sitting in the dust with a blank laptop screen. I never thought I'd feel so stuck and frustrated with an assignment before, and it sucks!

I did one of my French exams today, and I feel like I didn't do very good on it... Back in December during my midterms, I busted my ass trying to get the questions right, and I ended up with a 55%. I tried my hardest, and that was 5 marks off a pass. So I don't have faith I passed this exam either, and I'm struggling enough in school. Why can't I be competent in the things that matter? :/

 

[Zane]

I’ve had a migraine all day with no signs of stopping yet

 

[Clock]

I feel really burnt out to the point where I can't focus properly or have motivation to study longer.

 

[PapaCrossing]

I work with a dude who's moving away to another radio station. He'll be gone on Friday. I kind of don't get along with him since he is an extrovert who can't stop talking and overexplaining.

I should be jumping with joy but I was offered - for a second time - a high paying job. I was going to turn in my two weeks resignation but the other guy beat me to it. Now I feel obligated to remain at the radio station.

On Saturday I purchased a brand new vehicle at the dealership. Went in to check if I was eligible and ended up driving home in a new ride.

Now I'm concerned about payments and registration for this vehicle. It's time to start looking for part-time work.

So, new car to worry about, old job to work with. I'll feel better when I land more work.

 

[Dim]

God, I'm so tired of it being freaking hot im my room. I tried cleaning my tqo box fans and they helped with air flow but it doesn't cool it down. I'm glad the weather is going to cool down later this week and all, but it's just going to warm back up again.

 

[Bluelady]

The responsibilities at my job are changing, but I will have less than a week to get accustomed to it before working independently.

 

[Doo]

deleted

 

[Midoriya]

- snip -

Heya, just wanted to say I've been having this feeling a lot lately. You're not alone. Sometimes I forget that there are plenty of people who care about me, and I'm sure there's people that care about you too. If nothing else I care about you as a friend. It's been fun having you on the forums and I enjoy reading your posts. I hope you feel better soon.

EDIT: Just wanted to mention that I've noticed your support with reacts on my posts as well, and that does not go unnoticed. You're a joy to have here, truly.

 

[Doo]

-snip-

Thank you so much, it means a lot.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

highly disappointed bc I decided to try a different local coffee shop since my favourite one closed last year, and I spent $6.50 on an iced mocha and I can't even drink it bc it tastes really weird and kinda gross. could be the oatmilk that they used, but I can't drink regular milk because I'm lactose intolerant. I went out of my way this morning and spent nearly $7 for undrinkable coffee, what a waste.

also internet is out AGAIN this morning so I gotta go reset it for the fifth time in the last few days.

I was having a decent morning and now I'm just aggravated, I was really trying to keep myself calm but it's one thing after another. I'm tempted to dump this coffee down the sink and make my own iced coffee, I'm beyond annoyed about that.



edit: I made my own iced coffee, and it would've been better if the coffee was already cooled down instead of me cooling it with ice bc it's not as strong as I would like it to be, but it's way better than this overpriced coffee I got. I'm gonna go dump it down the sink. the other thing that annoys me is that at the old coffee shop, I could get an iced mocha with oatmilk for $5 and it was really good. what's this place's excuse? I don't know, maybe I have exquisite taste. the bottom line is that if I knew I was gonna spend nearly $7 and it was gonna be this bad, I would've gone to Starbucks instead, and I hate Starbucks so that's saying something.

but anyway, I need to stop ranting about it and carry on with my day. at least this breakfast sandwich I got (not from the coffee shop) is good hehe and I got my internet fixed so I'm happy about that.


edit again: GUYS EVEN THE DOG WON'T DRINK IT LMAOOOOOO

 

[Kitsuragi]

got an official diagnosis for slipping rib syndrome. been dealing with it my whole life so whatever, but now the doctor thinks i may have hEDS so i have to go in next week and have them test my hypermobility. problem is, hEDS is genetic, and i don't know half of my families health history because i didn't know half of my family EXISTED until recently. im going to have to grill the side of my family i didn't know about to see if anyone on that side of the family has hEDS, but my birth father is in jail for the next 10 or so years so hell if i'm getting answers from him

thaaaanks mom

 

[Paperboy012305]

Guys, I somehow start to feel that I have Narcissist Personality Disorder. I mean, every time I look at players racing on Mario Kart, I always cringe at them thinking I can show them how real players beat this game. I even said it myself that I could easily beat Jhine7 and 1v1 them.

For one thing, I start to think that the game alone is what got me this disorder in the first place, and it's only getting worse from here. Because now I put other users to shame in showing that I could do better or that I have something better than they don't.

And another thing, if this disorder never goes away in my life then I may just leave the forums entirely, which is something I don't want to do, but it is what it is.

If there's any help from the users around the forums who can get rid of this disorder, It would be greatly appreciated.

I'm not gonna lie, every time I think about the TBTWC it makes me feel so stressed and overwhelmed. thinking about even doing cheers causes me stress. I think it's the competitive nature of the event, I'm not trying to be competitive but I'm extra sensitive rn (bc mania yay) and just being in the atmosphere of competitiveness almost kinda ruins the fun for me. ofc that's no one's problem but my own, but it still sucks. another TBTWC goes by without much participation from me, I guess it's just not the right kind of event for me.

I think the same too, except I think of hatred and regret. Hatred that I am unable to participate in any games and regret due to my aforementioned disorder. It's up there in becoming one of my least favorite events on par with all the rest TBT has in store.
(No offense to the others who do like it, I don't mean to completely bash on your favorite event.)

 

[boring]

Spoiler

I was gonna post about how busy my past few days have been yesterday, but then I got punched straight in the face by a cop and had to safely get myself home at 4 am in London with no money and no phone battery. So yeah, my priories changed. I’ll be filing official complaints soon and I’m gonna talk to some legal reps about what happened to me yesterday. Plus I haven’t slept in two days. I have mario kart at 2 am which sucks for sleep but Im lowkey actually happy to do something other than get PTSD

I’m going to practice MK before the round to try and not feel so bad… but honestly my social anxiety has been really severe recently and I guess this event is bringing my anxiety about people secretly hating me right to the forefront. Totally my own issue tho that I’ve got to work through! It’s an uphill battle but I’m trying

 

[Kitsuragi]

If there's any help from the users around the forums who can get rid of this disorder, It would be greatly appreciated.

my mother has narcissistic personality disorder. there is no "getting rid of it." you have to change your thought process and your actions according to how you wish to behave/think typically with psychiatric or therapeutic intervention. i wouldn't assume you have any personality disorder until you receive a clinical diagnosis.

"wanting to be better" ALONE is not a solid reason to become diagnosed with it, NPD can be critically damaging to relationships, family bonds and even schooling and finances. if it's something you genuinely struggle with, i.e you struggle to keep friends or a job because of narcissistic tendencies, there's nothing you can do EXCEPT to reach out for professional help.

however, all this aforementioned, i don't think it's a reason to leave the forums unless you find you're actively attacking, harrassing or belittling other users. and i don't see you do that! if it's a personal reason, i.e you want to step away while you figure things out and heal, then thats a valid reason. but to me, from what ive seen of you, nothing you've done has been blatantly alarming or rude. it's a very livable personality disorder, it just requires lifestyle changes and a lot of willpower to do better, as well as a good support system (which can be very difficult to find for people with personality disorders.)

 

[Paperboy012305]

my mother has narcissistic personality disorder. there is no "getting rid of it." you have to change your thought process and your actions according to how you wish to behave/think typically with psychiatric or therapeutic intervention. i wouldn't assume you have any personality disorder until you receive a clinical diagnosis.

"wanting to be better" ALONE is not a solid reason to become diagnosed with it, NPD can be critically damaging to relationships, family bonds and even schooling and finances. if it's something you genuinely struggle with, i.e you struggle to keep friends or a job because of narcissistic tendencies, there's nothing you can do EXCEPT to reach out for professional help.

however, all this aforementioned, i don't think it's a reason to leave the forums unless you find you're actively attacking, harrassing or belittling other users. and i don't see you do that! if it's a personal reason, i.e you want to step away while you figure things out and heal, then thats a valid reason. but to me, from what ive seen of you, nothing you've done has been blatantly alarming or rude. it's a very livable personality disorder, it just requires lifestyle changes and a lot of willpower to do better, as well as a good support system (which can be very difficult to find for people with personality disorders.)

So if you don't think I have a disorder, then care to explain why I act this way?

 

[Kitsuragi]

So if you don't think I have a disorder, then care to explain why I act this way?

i didn't say i don't think you have the disorder. (edit: when i say "i wouldnt assume," i mean the metaphorical "i," as in "if i were you." not me personally speaking.) i am saying that you haven't done anything on the forums to warrant leaving it, regardless of whether or not you believe you have NPD or not. i can't explain why you're having certain thoughts or behaviors, i'm not licensed to do anything of the sort. im as baby of a med student as you can be, and im certainly not specializing in psychiatry. if you believe you have this disorder, and it's actively disturbing your life, then you need to speak to a therapist or psychologist about what your best course of action is.

 

[Paperboy012305]

i didn't say i don't think you have the disorder. (edit: when i say "i wouldnt assume," i mean the metaphorical "i," as in "if i were you." not me personally speaking.) i am saying that you haven't done anything on the forums to warrant leaving it, regardless of whether or not you believe you have NPD or not. i can't explain why you're having certain thoughts or behaviors, i'm not licensed to do anything of the sort. im as baby of a med student as you can be, and im certainly not specializing in psychiatry. if you believe you have this disorder, and it's actively disturbing your life, then you need to speak to a therapist or psychologist about what your best course of action is.

Now I start to think about it, I don't feel like I have it at all. I more think it's my lack of respect to other members on the forums. When I see someone have bad skills at something, I straight up give obvious signs of bad behavior. I think I do it to make me feel better, and that in itself is not a kind member. It's no wonder why I haven't made any friends on TBT yet.

Truthfully, I'm out of options on how to become a better member as the more punishments I get, the more envious I become.