What's Bothering You?

[TN4U]

Do I come off as somewhat cranky and unmotivated to anyone here? I think it's a big reason why I've lost all my friends in real life.

Spoiler: Read on if you're interested

I rarely have motivation to get out of the house except for work, to get food, or buy stuff for myself. I could recall a few times when my friends would occasionally reach out to have me hang with them somewhere, but half the time, would turn them down because "I had other priorities". In reality, said priorities were:

1. Falling asleep too early due to an early bird work schedule (getting up at around 5:00-5:30 AM every work day)
2. Going on my video games and becoming bored within 30 minutes
3. Being lazy and doing nothing but watching videos/listening to music on my computer

Not very good priorities, I know. Heck, something similar happened today with my dad. He offered to go eat out somewhere, but I'm known within the family circle to not particularly like going out with any family members. The sudden way he tried to push me to get out of the house wasn't all that great either. You could say I don't take my own family seriously, but I do get tired of them quite often. I ended up getting a pizza carried out.

Other than family, I also promised a co-worker to start working out at a gym. The first week was alright, but then I became super sore in the upper body area over the weekend, and I couldn't sleep some nights as I'm a side sleeper. I wasn't ready to do this again. I tried telling him a few times the next week that I wasn't feeling it to work out with him, but he began to "force" me to come, and I had to start ghosting him as a result. It doesn't feel like the right thing to do, but with both the soreness and the family issues I've been trying to deal with, I couldn't muster any courage to continue doing it. Besides this, I really don't know how I'm going to make any new friends, or possibly find a relationship because of my social anxiety. I've been given many suggestions before, but I'm hard to move out of my own comfort zone. This seems like iffy stuff to talk about in detail in a place like this, but after being ridiculed and made fun of previously in several "dating help" forums, I don't know who else to turn to other than a therapist, and even the ones I've contacted don't seem particularly interested in wanting to help me. I'll be seeing one next week to finally get some things off my chest, but I may have to reschedule due to a potential work conflict.

I've brought this issue up several times both here and elsewhere, and I continue to sound like a broken record, which isn't a good sign that anything is improving. I genuinely try to not come off as a lazy and unmotivated person, but I've got a feeling that my immediate family members are somewhat hindering my progress in a way. I badly want to move out of the house and live on my own (I'm 24 years old for those who don't know), but it's impossible at the moment given my current financial situation and the immediate area I live in not having any affordable housing that is not already located in shady areas. I want to have a better social life, but I feel like I'm in a mental jail just by continuing to live with my parents.

 

[VernalLapin]

Spoiler: TMI

I think i have a uti it’s driving me insane ;_;

 

[axaniao]

im really lonely rn

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Spoiler: Thinking about death

I was really annoyed earlier, but now I'm just emotional. I'm missing my mom and I'm thinking about my dad, how his birthday has reminded me that his time is drawing nearer. He told me this today: "Even if I live to 80, which is still a long time, I'm already halfway there." He believes he won't be here in 20 years (or less) due to his health, and it's disheartening.

I shouldn't be dwelling on this too much, but I can't help myself. My dad's annoying, but I still love him.

 

[Croconaw]

Spoiler: mentions politics, bigotry

My dad's whole personality at this point is politics. It's not as bad as my grandma who's is openly homophobic, transphobic and racist to the point where she talks about it publicly. I made the decision a few months ago to block her, but I feel guilty about it sometimes because I feel like I'm not giving her a chance. Like, I didn't even give her a chance to accept me.

Also, my dad said today that Trump supports everyone and not just those who support him. He said this in response to myself saying that while not every conservative person is homophobic, those who are just happen to be republican. I feel like we can't go an entire day without having a conversation about politics, and tbh it's never positive. I grew up having to listen to my grandma spew hateful ****, in public, no less. I remember having to pretend that I had no idea who she was as a child because she would say the most embarrassing or blatantly hateful things. My dad doesn't do it in public, but sometimes I'll hear a derogatory word from the other room and he'll openly root against someone else due to their ethnicity or skin color (ie: on Family Feud or WWE, for example). I question him about it, and he'll just brush it off like "I'm not racist, I just hate [insert word you can probably guess here.]"

 

[BetsySundrop]

Do I come off as -snip-

I don't think you're cranky at all; you did great running and playing games here, which takes a lot of effort/motivation to do.

As for irl - I'm awful at advice, so please just ignore me if I'm way off.

I can't really address the social thing, bcuz I'm not social irl. But I guess overall, first figure out what you want your life to look like and be like - what would you truly enjoy? Then you can figure out how to make that happen.

Not having your own place can be rough. It's hard to make your own space, style, life. Being on your own does make a big difference. But financially it can be so rough now. If you can't afford to live on your own, but you really do want to live on your own, maybe finding a better financial situation would help?

Maybe check for good trade programs if they have those in your state/area? One of my kids saved up enough $ for a year of living expenses while living at home (didn't want to take out student loans), then enrolled in a 2 yr trade program, moved to the city where the program was, and got a position at the company that co-sponsored the program after graduating. Sometimes those trade programs help get a better paycheck.

It seems like you might be stuck in a rut? Not really happy with current living situation, but unable to change it. Don't feel like going out, but feel like you're missing out. Maybe you could have a therapist help you develop a whole self- discovery and building life goals type thing? Sorry I'm not more helpful.
Hope things work out for you!

 

[Drawdler]

@TN4U I agree wholeheartedly with Betsy but if it’s okay to ask, have you ever tried antidepressants? They’re hit-or-miss for me, but if you’re able to get some, maybe they would work for you.

I think you should try to get away from your family if they’re keeping you down. Even if it’s not the case, you can look back and see that you were able to get past them.

Also, good luck with therapy.

 

[Rainbowhorn]

I've been feeling a bit lonely lately

 

[mogyay]

five day work weeks should be criminalised !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ali.di.magix]

update on this. saw the doctor yesterday, and after talking about my symptoms, we were able to the come to the conclusion that this is pretty much entirely muscular. I have tension in my shoulders that has built up for... probably years at this point. the doctor said that the muscles in my shoulders feel super tight, and they honestly have for quite a long time now. that's probably why I feel tense so often, it's because my muscles are literally tense and painful to the touch. it's understandable that falling would cause so much strain in my neck muscles and cause headaches and migraines for me.

and the thing is, I've known about this. my muscles have been tense for as long as I can remember. I did research months ago on local massage therapists, and they were all too expensive for me to afford. half an hour is generally $55-65, and an hour is easily $110+. when I talked to my mum about it yesterday she thought it was $20 for a half hour. if that was the case I would've had this done a long time ago!

I did set up an intake session with a local chiropractor, just because it wouldn't hurt to get my spine realigned and all that, but really what I need is a deep tissue massage. I just don't know where to go where they won't charge me $60 for a half hour session, I probably need to go once a week and I certainly cannot afford that.

but I really, really need this. I have now woken up with a headache every day for the last two weeks. last night I went to bed early because my headache turned into a migraine again. I can't keep doing this and feeling miserable every single day.

A bit of a late reply, but I understand how you feel with muscle tension I’ve been struggling with tension for years, probably due to stress and anxiety. If it’s cheaper or you have a bath at home, going to a spa or using epsom salts does wonders. I’m not sure if you’re sensory adverse to heat/wet, but I loooove a hot pool. Otherwise for small areas, a wheat bag works really well too. If you have tension in your shoulders, doing exercises also helps as well. Just thought I’d put out a few options that might help and might be cheaper for you

 

[Dunquixote]

Edit: Dealing with a little depression and intrusive thoughts now.

 

[Croconaw]

I gave my emergency funds to my dad for the apartment search. I was unfairly fired from my job and haven’t been getting good hours at all since then. My paychecks have been less than $50 each week because of it. I have to come up with $300 in 7 days for something dental related that I’d rather not reschedule.

Why can’t life be simpler? Why is money the thing I’m stressing about instead of the actual procedure? It looks like I’ll just have to say **** the appointment, or ask to borrow money. No, it’s not covered by insurance either.

I hate my old manager, and how hard it is to find a job that gives reasonable hours. This is making me hate America.

 

[SkyKnight03]

I had a panic attack .-.

at 4 in the morning.

 

[Drawdler]

PTSD-type night

 

[MiniPocketWorld]

The humidity is awful today. Maybe hormones are involved too but it is a ridiculously sweaty day for me. Real feel is 101F rn.
I feel unproductive about getting anything done today as a result and I hate it. I've been struggling enough before.
Can't wait for Autumn. It's cooler and way nicer then. My favorite season.

 

[Dunquixote]

Not doing good today; I am sure I’ll be better once I take my medicine. Right now, I’m having trouble getting myself to get up and do that and eat. A lot is bothering me now; some recent and other just stuff that has been building up. I’m starting to feel out of place again and am worrying that I’m annoying. I still miss my best friend; at the same time thoughts about him make me upset. I’m really sad and just feeling hopeless.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Spoiler: Good riddance.

I'm a little bothered about something. I kind of think it's minor, but I need to talk about it.

My brother was talking to one of his friends on the phone while we were cleaning the kitchen. He acts differently around his friends, and I can tell. I had to stand there for nearly an hour washing dishes and hearing him talk **** about our school teachers. Not to mention that he talks loudly and I already have a headache. It honestly sounds like nothing now that I type it out, but I was pretty damn annoyed. I just don't like hearing that kind of negativity. Despite me telling him to tone it down, he just ignores me. Meh, at least he didn't give me the usual, "Shut the **** up, [expletive]"...

I had to step outside for a bit because I was getting sick of hearing my brother talk. I feel like I shouldn't be upset, because I'm expecting people to act like this in the real world. What am I gonna do, tell everyone to shut up? The way I see it, I should just suck it up and stop complaining. I don't know, man.

Vaguely related: After hearing my brother talk about our teachers and school, I couldn't stop thinking about my own school experiences, and it just put me in a worse mood. I know I only graduated last month, but I'd rather not dwell on that part of my life; It's too painful.

 

[Asteroid]

Lonely and depressed as heck. I miss some people right now, and I really need some company.

 

[Beanz]

Spoiler: idk anymore

well it’s over now, my friend randomly blew up at me a few days ago over some boy drama and she’s officially removed me from her followers. my dad told me to keep following her account just in case we get to talk again when she calms down but i guess that opportunity is gone, all this over something stupid imo and all because she didn’t communicate.

i’m not even that broken up that we aren’t friends anymore, the problem is that i’m forced to see her again in a month and i’m afraid that she might try to fight me.

 

[axaniao]

i really be feeling like an afterthought sometimes