I'm doing a bit better now, but I hate it when my mother offers to pay for me; I know that she could use that to guilt trip me later on. That's the reason why I often would turn down on her offers to buy me things. We went to Best Buy not too long ago, where I bought myself a new laptop since my old one is extremely slow. It was around a thousand bucks, and I absolutely did not want my mom to pay for it. So I used my debit card instead. Though the money I have in my card was given to me from my mother and my family, I still felt guilty afterwards. But I didn't want my mom to lend me money even more. She said she would deposit more money in my bank account. I still probably have a couple hundred bucks in there after I bought the laptop.
I was so distracted with the fear of me never becoming independent while I was driving home. I silently compared myself to my friends. I felt so anxious that I wouldn't be able to get away.
I'm doing a bit better now, but I just had to get it out.