What's Bothering You?

u know the quirky feeling when u want to kys because your code isn't compiling and you're behind in school and then u look at the error messages and find the two small issues immediately after actually sitting down to do it, rather than waste time scrolling through instagram memes???? yeah. i'm that quirky
 
so yesterday I thought I had my meeting for the art final at 9am so I was up at 8am ready to go. and then my prof tells me (after a bunch of useless messages) that the meeting is on Wednesday. well okay then, I told him I'd see him tomorrow.

well today I overslept. woke up at 10:13am. cause my mind/body was in the mindset that my class was yesterday and so there was no sense of urgency today. I totally missed the meeting, where attendance was absolutely mandatory.

I ****ing hate school.
 
i've been irrationally grouchy and snippy for like 3 days and apologizing once i calm down cus i realize i'm mad over something stupid ;-; and then random fits of sadness (that may be seasonal depression tho)

i sense that aunt flow may be on her way...
 
My family doesn't like me anymore
I'll probably never get a good Christian boyfriend that looks half-good 😩
I don't have a best friend to talk to anyway
And faute pirouettes are pissing me OFF BUSIGIWGUIEHVIDNFIRW
And I'm an insensitive brat/I don't actually care about other people's problems which is probably why no one likes me ._. I try
I'll be your friend to talk to c:
 
Bruh. I think I was born into the wrong family. Like, come ON - these people don't seek thrills nor see the point in them. I, on the other hand, want adventure in my life. Motorcycle riding, skydiving, all those things... ya'll are a bunch of squares LMAO
 
I don't like being silently snubbed because I'm aware of my slowness socially so I'll assume I did something wrong and go over the situation in my head for a week. I try to assume the best of everyone and tell myself that the snubbing is unintentional but when it happens several times it starts to get in my head.
 
my CBD pen randomly stopped working yesterday, so now I'm dealing w bad stress/anxiety again. I literally got it less than a week ago so idk why it would stop working now.

problem is that I need to find an actual pen with a battery and tank so I can re-use it, but I don't want to make a big deal of it in front of my mom because I don't want to be frowned upon by my parents for vaping. idk why using CBD (not even THC) to help w anxiety would be such a bad thing but, ya know, parents be like that ig 🤷
 
i had a planned gift for xmas, but it's sold out (not what i'm mad about that can't be helped) so my mom decided to just get me something off of amazon, which i don't mind, she knows what i like. what i'm upset about is that she told me she got something the other day and now im impatient cus i'm curious and it's only the 8th ;w;

so not a mad thing more of a impatient wth did she get me mood. i wanna knooow xD
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i've been wanting one of those!! are they not very durable? :c
they are but some may end up not to be. I own Bella, Jade, and Ruby. But only Jade so far has problems with the hand but nothing else thank goodness. They can bend their knees, wrists, and elbows. They do feel a little stiff but it doesn't bother me.
 
they are but some may end up not to be. I own Bella, Jade, and Ruby. But only Jade so far has problems with the hand but nothing else thank goodness. They can bend their knees, wrists, and elbows. They do feel a little stiff but it doesn't bother me.
See this is what it looks like righf now if l pull on it a little. @SmoochsPLH sorry l tagged you. just in case if you want to see it.
20201210_135526.jpg
click
 
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If there's anyone out there that reads this and can relate to this, please do console me - because it seems that I, compared to any other sane people my age that's going to college, was not taking this seriously.

Well... I think I completed all of what I needed to do for financial aid this semester today. You read that right. Today. For my first semester and second semester of college. I really waited until the last minute. Well, I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like I don't understand how it works. Looking at my yearly tuition for the year, it's close to $50,000. I didn't think this through. At the time, I just wanted to pick a college that's far away. I didn't think about how I would manage my finances. I do have grants and scholarships and all, and that helps out with the majority of my payment for tuition - but the subsidized and unsubsidized loans? I have $5,500 in loan money for this school year.

Please tell me that I'm not the only one who ****ed up.
 
I’ve been wanting to be dead for the past few days. Life is too full of pain and stress to be worth living.
 
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