What's Bothering You?

I need four more eggs. i’d like all the eggs but I think that isn’t going to happen. I am having fun but I am also extremely frustrated. I am internally screaming inside not to mention how fast one of the eggs went out of stock. something else is bothering me but I can’t talk about it.
 
Sometimes I feel so sure, and other times I wonder if I even mean anything to them. I know that I am way more attached to them than they are with me. I wonder sometimes if I really care about them for them or they were just an opportunity for me to escape.
 
so I have a big academic essay due on Thursday and I'm literally missing one particular source and I cannot find a resource for it ANYWHERE within the profs set limits on where I can find resources (Credo, books, etc). It's the last piece of info I need to write this essay, im so frustrated.

I might have to talk to my prof about it tomorrow. why's he gotta make this so difficult smdh
 
Due to being on an airplane (with a mask on of course), I can’t go back to work until I have a Covid test. This will be my first test since the pandemic started. I’m probably fine, but it’s scary nonetheless.
 
i wish i didn't cry every day at school because of math. i have a feeling out of nowhere i'm suddenly going to fail the class and have to retake the class over again.
i've been getting less sleep lately. i only slept 6 hours on sunday and 4 hours today. that's not normal at all for me. i love sleep, i usually sleep a lot longer.
and seeing people just adds to my loneliness, i have friends, i'm not lonely, but i feel so empty.
 
piske said:
My dad fell for a phishing scam and now we’re dealing with the fallout and I’m just so stressed and anxious and sick-feeling... and hence, not sleeping either...
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Omg nooooo I'm so sorry :(:( I really hope you can solve it even though it does take some work I really really hope you will make it through *sends hugs* ❤

And yeah considering the amount of that **** I've gotten both in emails and as phone calls, knocks on wood, I'm glad I haven't. But yeah sadly it can happen even though you're the most careful person.
 
It still hasn't sunk in that I'm flying out of my hometown at the end of this week and not coming back (apart from visits/events of course). I'm anxious about moving and the job in the background, and just waiting for it to move to the foreground of my mind and imma break down lol
 
just think... three days from now I'll finally be able to drop this stupid history essay for at least a week, and then after Sunday's recital I'll be home free until Thursday of next week.


now if I could just get myself to start writing this essay that would be great.
 
sheilaa said:
Omg nooooo I'm so sorry :(:( I really hope you can solve it even though it does take some work I really really hope you will make it through *sends hugs* ❤

And yeah considering the amount of that **** I've gotten both in emails and as phone calls, knocks on wood, I'm glad I haven't. But yeah sadly it can happen even though you're the most careful person.
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Thank you 🙏 I’m working on some stuff this morning because i was worried about our router and it seems they aren’t as savvy as i had feared but I’m still checking everything and making my parents check/update everything. It’s a nightmare.
 
piske said:
Thank you 🙏 I’m working on some stuff this morning because i was worried about our router and it seems they aren’t as savvy as i had feared but I’m still checking everything and making my parents check/update everything. It’s a nightmare.
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Sounds good, and yes better check everything to prevent larger damage. And I can imagine, I really hope you can solve it the best way possible with minimal damage from everything ❤
 
I gotta say, one of the worst things that has come out of this pandemic is the idea that using disposable cups/bags/containers/etc is not only okay, but also encouraged at this college.

like when I go to the dining hall, yeah they give us containers that are supposedly biodegradable and turn into soil after 90 days, so that's fine with me. but what I'm not okay with is the fact that they encourage us to use plastic disposable silverware, as well as not allowing people to fill their own re-usable cups (ofc due to pandemic safety precautions). they're not explicitly against people bringing their own carrying bag to put their food into, but they do put out a ton of plastic bags for people to use as well, which I myself am guilty of using cause... i mean, they're right there. it's hard to not go the convenient route and just use a plastic bag, or plastic silverware.

this has been bothering me for a while and starting today I'm making a conscious effort to bring my own bag to put food into, as well as using my own silverware (not the plastic crap) and re-using straws. the cup thing is still an issue, however. we're not allowed to fill our own containers, which is totally understandable. they don't want people bringing cups that someone who may have COVID-19 last used (especially if they didn't wash it). but I can't describe the amount of guilt I feel every single time I throw away a stack of paper/plastic cups from my room.


it would be nice if the college took more steps to be environmentally friendly, such as giving us biodegradable silverware to use, as well as minimizing plastic waste from wrappers and bags and stuff. the containers are a good first step but it really isn't enough, especially when there are 1600 people going in and out every day throwing away plastic cups and plastic silverware with no cares in the world.
 
So... I might have a chance of staying at my current workplace(which I love, a lot). Thing is apparently my job coach/contact person thought it was a good idea to tell my boss I have right to get the payment partly paid by job agency.... which is rather annoying cause it mean I would still have to be with them and I don't know if I am 100% eligble for it(the employer can get it if they eg. hire people with ASD and they need to make adjustments at the workplace).

I'm a bit afraid he got too hooked on getting a reply whether he can use that thing from the job agency or not, cause he should be able to hire me regardless to be fair...I know I should probably talk to him but I'm just... praying it will all go good now.
 
Well... My Mom has suffered with Atrial fibrillation for several years now so she goes to get tests done every couple years. She went for her most recent one last week and got her results today....

Unfortunately they weren’t good. She’s on medical leave from work starting today and has to go for surgery in the next month or so and there’s no guarentee that it will fix the problem. If it doesn’t then that will more than likely lead to heart failure.

I’m staying as positive as I can right now and am hoping the surgery will be the answer but I can’t help but feel worried still.
 
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