What's Bothering You?

[Alienfish]

I think Royal Mail took an extra long bank holiday this time, no one to row their rubber boats across the sea, lol.

 

[-Lumi-]

I'm so grateful that I was able to be vaccinated yesterday but goodness I don't feel the best. Last night was pretty rough, sleep wise. When I went to bed my head hurt, my arm hurt, and my throat was bothering me which made my anxiety play up so that was a bummer. I tend to roll around quite a bit at night but it doesn't usually bother me however last night anytime I'd start to roll onto my arm it would hurt and wake me up. I feel so sleepy today and we're apparently heading for a heat wave which I'm not excited about. I want summer temperatures to max out at like... 20 degrees. None of this 29 and over nonsense, not even counting the humidity.

Edit: Also Ontario's re-opening plan confuses me. It's a three step plan, apparently, but we aren't even in step one yet...?? So it feels more like a four step plan they just... called it 3 steps? And the criteria needed to move through the steps confuses me a little, too. I think we need to see a drop in cases & meet a certain number of vaccinations and then we still can't move to the next step until 3 weeks have passed? Which is just kind of frustrating because with the vaccinations we're getting we're seeing a pretty big drop in cases (I feel like we were at 4,000 cases daily not too long ago and now we're under 1,000!!!) but we'll still be stuck in step 1 when we get there because it's not just case/vaccine dependent.

Unless I'm misunderstanding. Which I 100% could be. I feel like they always word the re-opening plans in a really confusing way and I'm just not the brightest bulb out there, lmao. I just want to be able to get my hair cut I don't mind having long hair - in fact I love it! But it's so long now that it's hard to put up in rollers and the ends are sad. But hair dressers don't open until step 2.

 

[_Rainy_]

My therapist hasn’t helped me process that “breakup” much. She just keeps saying I’ll be fine after a while. Time helps sure, but distraction is the only other thing helping. The second I quit doing something my mind ruminates on the lies, apathy, and mistreatment I went through. It was the same back in High School. If someone treats me terribly I just ruminate for ages. The less the other person cares about my suffering the worse it gets. Why does my therapist think time and distraction is all I need? I’m supposed to be receiving cognitive behavioral therapy for this.

First of all I’d like to say that I’m very sorry this happened to you and you in no way deserved any of it. We all make choices in this world and we’re responsible for them, anybody who says otherwise is a toxic human being. You may have not made the best choices or did this or that, but you didn’t make them treat you like that. They did it and it’s on them. You know what kind of person you are and that’s what matters most.

Think of it this way; Your feelings are fire and your thoughts are air. When you think about past things you’re banking the fire. Those feelings of anger and sadness can be toxic for you and if you want them to lessen you need to try to stop feeding it and letting it spread. I’m not saying to bottle your feelings, more like you need to identify them, name them and problem solve them in your own mind. You need to accept that you might not get the answers or the closure from the people that hurt you. You need to come to a conscious decision for yourself about them and stick to it. Also find a creative or physical outlet for the emotions to make use of them rather than ignore them, just try to stop overthinking them. Eventually they will fade, they might not go away completely for awhile and there is no time limit to them. We tend to stick to what we know and what’s familiar and when ruminating is what’s familiar to you it’s not very easy to just switch things around, it takes practice and might not feel right at first. If your therapist can’t help you problem solve these things find someone else.

 

[Dunquixote]

I just woke up after going back to sleep after my appointment with my psychiatrist and I feel like crap. I had a dream about a friend from middle school and high school I regret falling out touch with somethings and now I feel so terrible. this isn’t the first time i had a dream like this and in fact it had some stuff in it from a past dream.

And also my psychiatrist...

 

[a potato]

My charging cable is upstairs and I’m too lazy to get it

 

[smug villager]

To be honest, I've been feeling a little frustrated recently. My boyfriend has been spending so much time on his phone or gaming, even when we go out to eat, and he hasn't set as much time aside for me. A mutual friend of ours has been going through relationship issues and always asking my boyfriend to be there for him instead. Our plans keep getting cancelled or postponed or changed to include this friend and I just want to feel like a priority again without being too needy.

 

[Psydye]

My Amazon order hasn't fallen through yet. It's taking forever and it's pissing me off! >:|

 

[Dunquixote]

I am sleepy and there is no reason for me to be tired even though I have been mentally drained for a few days now. Also not in the mood to talk to my counselor tomorrow; had enough today with my paychiatrist who unlike her shows not no emotion or any form of empathy or any sign he cares but yet he expects me to talk when he didn’t listen the one time i tried talking to him.

 

[_Rainy_]

Bakugo bit another of my chargers I didn’t think he would be able to get this one because I thought I had it put up, but apparently not.oh and I have no way of charging my iPad right now because it needs two usb type B’s. Why does apple do this crap?

 

[Dunquixote]

i messed up coloring and outlining this drawing i was almost done with. i want to throw it out but this is in my new sketch pad, so I guess I’ll retry under it after i trace it or something. but that doesn’t solve how worse it looks colored with colored pencils.

 

[Princess Mipha]

I am so mad right now. My brother has his wedding tomorrow. He organised it extremelly bad, to the point that I didn't even know the exact date and my father, who lives right next to him didn't even know where the wedding is held until he asked him two days ago.
So yeah.. since it was such a mess (and no, Corona rules are not an excuse for this) me and my fiancé couldn't make it, as my fiancé needs to know at least a month or so before to get a day off and anyways. We can't just plan a +1.300km trip in under a week, when I'm pregnant, my partner needs almost weekly important medicine and we have all the animals at home. But what annoys me the most right now, is that my brother mentioned only ONCE over phone quickly the POSSIBLE day of the wedding.. so I'm like "Okay, he will write it again when it's save to me". He didn't. He didn't even bother telling me anything, nothing (apparently nobody really got any information, see my Dad not even knowing where it's held).. so, I was preparing a card and two letters with some cute little things written inside, expecting it to send it out this weekend to arrive just in time for the weeding, as I was sure he said middle of June. Welp, I asked my Dad today when the wedding is exactly and he told me it's tomorrow. So now I won't be able to attend to the wedding and I won't even be able to have the letter delivered in time. Honestly, it's not my fault here, it's my brothers fault. He didn't organise a single bit the most important day of his freaking life. HOW???
I'm so freaking mad that I won't have the letter in time sent to him. I spent so much time and love into it and now it will arrive on a random day next week. jqksdflmelkfzekfejfqsdfd

 

[skarmoury]

me: nah I'm not a bookworm. I get terribly bored reading most books.
also me: *reads a 200,000-word fanfic in one sitting*

apparently an average novel is around 60k-100k words. idk I probably have a problem. I thoroughly enjoy reading my favorite ships and all the development they get in fanfiction.

 

[Alienfish]

Ok so my package is here in customs but apparently they are so slow handling it so it kinda doesn't exist looool

 

[Bluebellie]

I’m not feeling well today. I would call out, but I already asked for tomorrow off. The day has been dragging on though. Three more ours of work left. I just have to hang in there.

 

[_Rainy_]

I just learned that Pipkin the bunny passed away and now I can’t stop crying about it.

 

[rianne]

The impending doom that is summer time.

 

[Soigne]

saw something i really, really wish i hadn’t. i suppose it’s better for me to know than to not, but it has ruined my evening and perhaps a long term friendship.

 

[ali.di.magix]

just trying to pass time at work as I really don’t want to start something new this late on a Friday afternoon and Anxiety Prohibits me from asking ppl what to do lmao

 

[Marridia]

I hate it when the tv is so loud, I can barely hear anything with my headphones

 

[EerieCreatures]

Spoiler: cause it's long

this is nothing bad. I am a bit overwhelmed by Toyhouse now i have an account. I thought when I deleted a folder I deleted a picture by accident but I found out it wasn’t. Then I saw i had two of one image so i am still confused by that. Also I read the rules about using screenshots I freaked out a bit since i uploaded screenshots i took from video games of my favorite character so I quickly took them down; was going to upload a gacha character to be in gallery of references with link going back to game’s site but not sure if that is okay. If I was an anime character last night and now, my eyes would be kinda like @.@. lol. I do like this a lot but am so confused. I keep changing my mind how I want to organize them. I just remade some folders and moved the characters to the appropriate one but now I’m wondering if unsorted would be better.

My apologies if this is sort of old to comment on, but I stumbled on it and just wanted to say that gosh I feel this so much. orz I just got a Toyhouse account too and I am just, so very confused and overwhelmed on how to figure out how to do pretty much anything. ;o; I completely missed there was even a rule about screenshots?? so now I have to go back and check I didn't miss anything else important and I'm just, ahhhhh ><;; I don't know if you get this too but I honestly find the site a bit difficult to grasp? Like navigating it I mean, usually I'm not this bad at getting the hang of a new website but it's just, I feel so silly and dumb for struggling so much with it.
It's also reminded me how much I miss charahub honestly ;o;

Now onto what I originally came here to vent about.

Spoiler: a ramble

Both my own birthday and my best friend's birthday are coming up in about a week and a half, and I'm really really excited about mine because she is drawing me a really special gift for it and I can't wait to see it. The only problem though, is she's really specific about what she likes as gifts, so when I asked her what she wanted for her birthday she said she wanted me to draw her something (this was before I knew she was drawing me something too). The problem is, she's an amazing artist, really skilled and just, great. And I'm not at all. I can barely draw honestly. I used to be okay with still life drawings and things I did in my art class, but almost nothing from then stuck in my skills or memory and I just, can't do anything decent now. And it's really upsetting me because I want to give her something nice that she'll like for her birthday because I already messed up my gift for her last year and I just, I don't know what to do because I don't know how to make her something that's good enough. I really don't want her to be disappointed with my gift, and that's assuming I can even make anything for her at all. I just wish I was better at, doing things and learning and that I could actually draw like I see in my head but my hands won't do it.