What's Bothering You?

I've been deeply disturbed ever since I went to my grandparents' funerals and it hasn't gotten any better in a month's time. I just don't even know what to think anymore. I really don't.
 
stressed because again another person is coming over because of something to do with moving, didn’t sleep enough, have to go out shopping after this, can’t stop being bugged about the cliques on discord server and overthinking about stupid stuff, and of course still in shock over the VA’s recent passing.

Didn’t sleep enough either and mom woke me up when i was in deep sleep. since i couldn’t hear here with my white noise machine going on, it startled me. and she snapped and told me not to be crabby. i can’t process well when i’m waking up from deep sleep.
 
my fave pair of jeans broke yesterday, the zipper broke completely, good thing i had my coat with me to work so it didn't show, ugh. probs not gonna buy new pants til i lost some weight though cause i haaate my damn peach butt that came outta nowhere.
 
uhhhh hey. whatever is in my mind that's making me think abt my crushes nonstop? can you please stop doing that? I would appreciate it.
 
Funny how a stupid game like Wii Sports Resort Swordplay Showdown can piss me off, I wanted to break my Wii Remote like five times.
And me yelling at the Miis ("NOBODY LOVES YOU NAOMI", "RACHEL YOU DUMB ****," "ELISA GO AWAY") thinking it's actually gonna make me play better.
 
but why is my anxiety so bad right now? I can feel my body trembling and I feel like I might combust. I want to say idk what's wrong but I know exactly what's wrong and I can't say a darn thing about it to anyone 😞

edit: I'm okay now :>
 
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Can I please not wake up every 2 hours in the night

Swear to God I have some sort of sleep disorder, I've had difficulty with sleeping (along with other symptoms) for years
 
A spider just dropped down right in front of my face while I was at my desk AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

it's outside now but I nearly fell backwards out of my chair trying to get the heck away skfhsdklfjdaaklfc

cannot tell you how much I hated that
 
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Work was stressful, today was stressful. I get chronic migraines from stress... So, put two and two together.

Nothing seems to be going right. A customer at work bullied me for my bangs at work today, and pestered me to thank her for it? I cried so much after she left. I've been having such a bad day. It took everything in me not to start screaming at her :") Gotta be professional, so all I did was cry.
 
As expected I had multiple former high school classmates record me on their phones. One threatened to do something bad on my birthday. Unlike what their gossip says I’m only here to visit my other mom. I don’t go out of my way to irritate them. In fact I hate this place as much as they hate me. If she and my grandparents didn’t live here I’d never come back. It’d be nice if I could see my relatives without having to relive the trauma of my high school years each day.
 
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What the heck is wrong with drivers these days. I had the green light coming up at an intersection until this person in their huge oversized SUV literally blasted through a red light to make a left turn. It happened in front of my eyes and had to step on the brakes. I even honked at them and from what I saw, they simply didn't give a **** of their surroundings. I wasn't in a rush to get back home, so if I got there just a couple of seconds earlier, I would've been t-boned. And this was after dropping off my sister at school. I'm just shaking right now. 😭
 
i havent spoken to anyone in 2 hours, and i dont think i want to, ive been told to do more schoolwork, so why do anything else for a day, get the 2 weeks of online school over with.
 
ive been feeling really nauseous lately, like im about to throw up. sometimes i actually FEEL like throwing up but nothing comes out. i think it’s called dry heaving? I think i need more vitamins or something..
on a calmer note, i spoilt myself for a show that im watching. im not bothered by getting spoiled, im bothered about the spoilers themselves. if the spoilers are true… then i already hate it. ill just stick to writing/reading fanfiction of it now lmao
 
So they resent that suit, as I mentioned before I guess it will do but, yeah again not ordering heavier stuff or anything from then again jesus.
 
I was so nervous about my Math exam this morning, I was shaking and felt like throwing up. Thank god I didn't, but I was so scared that I would because I've only thrown up twice in my life, so I'm not really used to it. Imagine that, the last time I threw up was 10 years ago.

Probably failed that Math exam, but a lot of other people have as well. I literally gave up and handed in my papers despite being nowhere near finished. Math is useful, but I hate it with a burning passion. I've also got another Math exam tomorrow, spare me.

I wanna play Wii Sports Resort Swordplay Showdown so I can finally beat Stage 18, but knowing me I'm just gonna get mad and chuck my Wii Remote at the wall. Nintendo, why did you make the Reverse Stages so ****ing difficult?!
 
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