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What's Bothering You?

so my copy of population growing came but guess what… i didn’t know that i also had to buy a memory card which was stupid of me, i couldn’t save any of my data.
 
Even though I'm not a woman, the fact that that was overturned, that's messed up. If anyone who is from Texas is reading this, especially if you're female, I feel really bad for you.
Thank you. I’m from Texas and I’m a female ;-;
 
I love how everyone else's entry for the event actually looks good expect for mine. Honestly I'm surprised mine even got accepted. Don't get me wrong, I definitely did put effort into it, and I do like what I drew, it's just that I feel like it's just not enough. And probably never will be. I like to tell my self that I've been improving, but lately i just don't think I have. I could spend 30 minutes on a piece, and it could look pretty good, at least for me, and I'd delete it. Why? Because it just isn't good. Living with low self esteem is really fun 🙃
 
My allergies are getting really bad. My throat is sore, my nose is plugged up and I’m sneezing constantly. Allergy medication only helps for a few hours too. This is one of many reasons why Summer is my least favorite season. At least the fruit is tasty…
 
I woke up to this...
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awww I'm so sorry you feel that way. I think your art is absolutely fantastic and it always makes me smile when I look through your art gallery. if you feel like you want to improve I'm sure that any of your fellow artists (including myself) would be willing to help you :)




it's only Sunday and I'm stressing about money yet again. our cats are almost out of food. I was supposed to carpool w my dad this week to save on gas but after the **** he pulled yesterday I would rather drive alone, and even though my brother said he would help pay for my gas I feel bad wasting gas when I could've carpooled with my dad. why he has to act like such a complete idiot all the time I don't have a clue.

but anyways I gotta figure out how to get food for our cats. maybe a friend of ours will give us some to hold them over until our next paycheck.
 
...Seriously?
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Edit: Feeling dicey about what I've been posting recently. I'm almost expecting a warning, or having my posts removed.
 
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found out this morning that a tiktok creator who i really admire as a person, who is literally sunshine in human form, lost her son on friday. he was killed. his 19th birthday was yesterday. saturday. the day after he was killed. it’s the first thing i saw when i opened tiktok this morning, and i’ve honestly been broken up about it all day since. no parent ever deserves to know this pain, but this tiktok creator especially doesn’t deserve it. i don’t know her or her family personally, but her content is such a ray of light on tiktok, in this world. she’s dedicated herself to helping others, to being there for people, to raising awareness about important issues, to loving her family and life, and something this awful happens to her anyways? to her son? her family? i know bad things happen to good people all the time, but this just. is not fair. at all. yesterday was supposed to be about love and laughter and happiness and celebrating his life, and instead it was a day of mourning. it’s not fair.

i think the thing that ****s me up the most about this is that it’s just another reminder of how quickly things can change. how fast things can go wrong. how your world can flip on its axis at any time, and things will never feel normal or right again. “you’re not promised tomorrow” is a thought i’ve had almost hourly every day since september, and tragedies like this only make it more profound. it’s ****ed.

this woman is such a light, and she will never be the same again. her family will never be the same again. my heart aches for her, and for her family, so badly. there is no reason her son should be gone right now.

i’m probably not making any sense, but idk, just needed to vent about this. it’s been a heavy day lol.
 
Feeling lazy and unmotivated today. I started a sketch for a cool drawing and gave up after drawing Sakura, so instead I watched Poofesure and Vinesauce for almost three hours.
 
So someone told me “she’s cute tho, for you” and I know what they’re implying. Lol, just say it. 🤣 I’m not a 10 by any means but damn lol.
 
my appetite has been even more nonexistent than it previously was since yesterday afternoon. the only things I've eaten in the last 48 hours have been a mcdonalds double cheeseburger, some fries, and a snack cake. and it's not like we really have anything to eat anyways. thanks dad for not bothering making a budget for groceries so we basically have no food until late Friday or early Saturday.
 
My step-mom having a meltdown because I left four bits of popcorn on the table. Don't call me down to throw it out when you can just pick it up yourself, jeez.
I have a problem with memory, and of course she uses that against me. "Do you want me to be like you, to forget everything? Do you want me to forget to make supper, or to forget to buy food?" Jesus ****ing Christ. That really pissed me off.
 
I hate phone scammers so much, one just attempted to scam my MOM.
(Electric bill scam)

I want one to call me, I'm going to tear them a new one.
 
Yep, another post about my brother... This time he called me a bunch of hurtful names and took the Chromebook even though I was using it. This post is really petty, but I'm still mad about it.
 
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