What's Bothering You?

swear i hear another rainbow dash-y voice while home alone, idk if this could be my tulpa speaking rlly wish i could know, kinda bothering me as i really just want her to speak to me.
 
I swear, if I see one more thing of Camel of Camel with Ankha Zone associated with it, I'm fricking losing it. I mean, I guess it's to make it more recognizable and make more people click on the videos, but come on! I wanna listen to remixes and covers of it without having to worry about the suggestive thumbnails. :I

On a (tad-bit) less serious note, my brother is being a total ***. He literally nags me about everything. Ugh, I can't stand him sometimes.
 
I don't get it. I used to have a really strong and loving bond with my younger brother, but now I have a burning hatred for him. We always argue and we hardly agree on something. Our conversations have been really dry lately as well.
"Angelo, supper's ready."
"Is it good at least?"
"No, it really isn't."
"Oh my god, it's so over-cooked."
"I don't take constructive critism."
"It's not constructive, it just sucks!"
I dunno, I kinda wish I was younger during the times when we were close and loved each other. Nowadays we both want each other dead basically.
 
This week on People Who's Choices Don't Effect Them; the reasoning we've done this is because it wasn't in a 235 year old piece of paper written by people who owned people as property! Yep, that's the best we got folks! Tune in next week for When an Object Used to Kill People has More Rights Than You!
 
I haven't been this angry in years. Months and months of temper training is crumbling. I want to leave. SO BAD. I HATE IT HERE. I hate everything about living here. I don't care how I get out I just want to LEAVE. I don't have enough of a voice to change things. I can't do things on my own. I'm so angry and upset. I resent so many people.
I hate this country so much.
 
I can't stand my brother, he's so fricking annoying. He wants to use the Chromebook, and I ask him to give me a few more minutes to finish up with something. He just stands there, hovering over me and staring at me and my screen, which makes me very uncomfortable. And he's also constantly telling me to hurry up, impatient much? Let me have my few minutes of peace for once, Angelo.
...Now I feel like I'm complaining about something so minuscule when there's WAYYY bigger problems for other people. I feel guilty now. :[
 
First the shooting in my own state and then this... this nation is really headed in the wrong direction. Yikes.
What's happened now?!

I wish I've been more successful with money, and had more independence. Others do respect me, but I feel I should just be a bigger person by now.
 
Feeling cold when it's summer. Like I hate feeling cold in winter too but summer shouldnt be a thing.
Can't sleep but at least I did relax some earlier today.
And it's bothersome when people try to make something a bigger deal than it really is or they try to make it something it isn't.
Also, multiple society/global stuff is bothering me but I don't foresee that stuff improving.
And earlier today, it was mentioned by our leader that they are prepping for a second pandemic and it's bothering me that more details wasn't given beyond that. Like, what is on the radar? Covid junk or monkey pox? Something else? And what prepping is being done exactly?
 
I think my meds stopped working. I've felt absolutely horrible today, as I have been for almost 2 months now, and it really isn't getting any better. I'm back to resenting my life. I don't want to have to try yet another antidepressant, ive already been through this so many times. wish I could just be normal and depression free.
 
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