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What's Bothering You?

I can't edit this video. the software is going ape**** every time I try to move the time marker so I can figure out where I need to trim. the audio also keeps going out of sync with the video, the audio will play without the video, and it makes some ungodly noises when it's trying to load. it's bc my computer's CPU and RAM get almost completely overloaded when i'm running this software.

I'm so incredibly frustrated with this. I just want to upload another yt video.
 
I’ve been with my favorite person most of the morning today and all I can think about is my crush. It’s pretty eye opening…
(No, they’re not the same person.)
 
I wish my NihonBox didn't come mid-August.

I wish Digimon Survive didn't come out in 12 days.

I wish my birthday wasn't 9 days away.

God, I hate waiting. All the good stuff always happens at the end of summer break.
 
i need to start saving money i’m horrible w money 😭 give me like $20 and i’ll find a way to spend it that same day
 
My brother decides to barge into my room while I'm playing Mario Kart Wii. He keeps distracting me (while I'm on Rainbow Road, no less). I keep telling him to get out, but he doesn't. Instead he starts telling ME to get out, even though he was in MY room. I don't see why he had to yell at me, though. I got so angry at him I almost smacked him with my Wii Remote.
 
my anxiety is really bad rn. I saw a thing on pinterest where someone was saying you don't have to love yourself to love others, and while a few people agreed there were also many people who said that they hated themselves but loved someone else and it just created so much disparity. and I'm worried bc I really like my friend and I hope our friendship/relationship ends up working out, but as it stands he has incredibly low self-esteem, no confidence, and almost nonexistent sense of self-worth. I wish there was something I could do to give him hope and make him see that there are decent people in the world and not everything is doomed to be miserable forever.

my mind is racing about this. I don't want to give up. but I also wonder if I'm just jumping into this because he's the first person who has ever shown any kind of genuine interest in me. I know I can't really change people but I really wish there was something I could do to give him even a shred of hope back. I'm so saddened to hear about what he's been through, he really doesn't deserve any of the treatment he's gotten from family and so-called friends/SOs.

I think my mind is hyper-focusing on this because I just realized I haven't taken my anxiety meds yet today. I do think this is a legitimate concern but I may also be overthinking it bc my anxiety gets crazy when I forget to take my meds. I guess I'll just have to let time do its thing and we'll see how this ends up.
 
i'm so totally freaking out about my interview tomorrow!! this is like, my first ever job interview and i'm really anxious about leaving a terrible impression :p
 
So, my yard is flooding pretty bad right now with the down pours that's lasting a long time. Our property is already kinda wet so, not really too happy about it. Of course it flows into our neighbor's yard around their pool which is leaning due to the pool being in the low spot of their yard... I hope it doesn't bust cuz it would hit our house at that point.
 
even though I really don't like buying things at walmart I do appreciate being able to get some stuff I need there when I don't have much money to work with. however today I went there to look for polymer clay and tools/wires bc I would like to try making models and figurines, and after deep scanning their entire craft area I could not find a single thing that has to do with clay. nothing. so now I have to go to Hobby Lobby, and I'm sure they'll have what I need but I'm also sure that it's quite a bit more expensive than walmart would've been if they had what I need.
 
A few nights ago, I majorly messed up when opening my adderall container which caused almost all of its' contents to fall into the wet sink, instantly dissolving. I put in a request for a refill and I haven't got it yet, even though they're usually quick. They probably think I'm up to something shady now, sigh.
 
i got nauseous at 3 am and now i’m lowkey traumatized i hate being emetophobic. also today is my first day back to work after 2 weeks and i don’t even wanna go anymore 🙃
 
I'm hoping that today I'll be productive and start some drawings (since I have quite a bit of ideas that I wanna get to), but something tells me that I'm gonna be lazy and watch YouTube all day instead.

I also got a bit violent with my brother last night 'cause he pissed me off so much...
 
My back is absolutely killing me after a busy weekend at work oh but of course, I have to do all these house chores everyone else in the house is too lazy to do. Can’t ever catch a break! -___-
 
People on neopets being so damn name picky with pets. So I have this really stronk boi with like 3k+ HSD and stuff, I had a person considering it for their really cool UC. Then they were like "omg the name holds me off but i'll let u know" (it got a few numbers and uncapped sure but it's not THAT bad) and ended up trading in some crappy shuffle like... okay bro. don't state you want bd pets then
 
My rabbit Leo craps wherever he so pleases and ignores the litter box. Ive tried switching boxes and even cut the opening lower on the box so he doesn't even have to hop over the edge to get in. Good thing he's cute cause I'm sweeping up a whole dust pan of bunny turds each day.
 
SO I had a stomach bug last night and went to puke but nothing was really coming out? Even though I've eaten quite a bit so my face and eyes had SO MUCH pressure being pushed on them and I woke up with all the blood vessels in my face broken and v swollen eyes :( I look horrible lol google says it should go away in a couple days so I'm hoping it does and I don't have to look like this for too long
if ur rlly nosey and want to see what my face looks like click here (p.s I dont really get acne so YES that is all blood vessels 🥲)
 
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