What's Bothering You?

I'm doing a bit better now, but I hate it when my mother offers to pay for me; I know that she could use that to guilt trip me later on. That's the reason why I often would turn down on her offers to buy me things. We went to Best Buy not too long ago, where I bought myself a new laptop since my old one is extremely slow. It was around a thousand bucks, and I absolutely did not want my mom to pay for it. So I used my debit card instead. Though the money I have in my card was given to me from my mother and my family, I still felt guilty afterwards. But I didn't want my mom to lend me money even more. She said she would deposit more money in my bank account. I still probably have a couple hundred bucks in there after I bought the laptop.

I was so distracted with the fear of me never becoming independent while I was driving home. I silently compared myself to my friends. I felt so anxious that I wouldn't be able to get away.

I'm doing a bit better now, but I just had to get it out.
 
Too many things are bothering me to list. I can't talk about any of them here or anywhere else. I don't want to be a downer or make people think I'm looking for pity or that I'm feeling sorry for myself. I feel like I'm bothering others or always complaining about something. I never want to make anyone feel bad or offend anyone but I feel like I'm very thoughtless with my words at times and I end up coming across wrong. I need to think a lot more before I speak (or type, but you can proof-read typing, thankfully). I wish I knew how to encourage and help others more, as we are all fighting some sort of battle. Also, it seems like I'm so old compared to everyone ;w; ...
 
my daily mood hahahahaha
been a while since my mother's pushed the vegas stuff, she doesn't have internet or something but once it's set I'm pretty much done for.

No more reasons to stall the move anymore and I'm just going to have to suck it up if they don't break up soon

I wish my mother realized sugar coating it doesn't help.

She's always talking about how I barely go anywhere and how I should get to see the world

I'm 90% sure she just wants to do that herself but she's dragging me along for some reason, because I've lost my will to go anywhere

she never took me anywhere when I was younger and she still said I deserved to go places and I'm just done with her bs
 
bruh how long has this game been out 6 months and none of my animals will craft the freakin wooden bookshelf 🤯 i’ve come too far to just trade for it hahah sunk cost fallacy
 
y'know I don't have friends irl, online friends are all I have.

And when those start to be horrible too, at the end of the day I'm still alone.

slowly watching your friends become distant from you + hate you isn't fun..
 
I have an important test tomorrow that runs from 7am-2pm and in my time zone the ticket distribution is at 1pm. WWHHYYY WRRyYYYYY ;^; I'll never get that sheep collectible. NEVER (ok I know I'm being pes but I can't help but feel like everything is against me, even myself to just get that 1 sheep collectible that I desperately want lol) I had a cute thought that I would be able to have enuff and be fast enuff to snab the stickers too but HA it's laughable hearing how it got sold out the first 10 seconds. I wouldn't mind dropping cash for tbt stickers cuz im a sticker collector uwu but that not allowed ;7; lol and it wouldn't make the stickers feel exclusive anymore haha. Anyhoo I just need to get this off my mind so I can focus on studying for that test and release all this sadness I'm feelin. Heka FOMO came true for me. Idk what I'm gonna do with all my tickets if I can't get what I want and idk if there's gonna be anything good but maybe i'll try for something :'>
 
I am frustrated beyond words right now. There is a risk of us returning back to the building because our call numbers are still not looking good. I don't know who is causing our numbers to look bad but I am just so pissed. Life is really good right now work wise for me. I save over 2 hours by not having to wake up an hour early and also drive 30+ minutes both there and back. I save money on gas and food. Going back would also mean I have to go to bed earlier. The few bad apples spoil it for the bunch. I am going to pray things shape up because I will be depressed if we have to go back. I was thinking so far ahead as to be able to enjoy the fall and winter, seeing the leaves fall and winter snow fall outside of my window. Do you know what I get to face at work? A wall. I don't get to see anything. I am just so annoyed right now.
 
I want to get more gym equipment but idk where to put it. i need to do more strength training for the jobs i'm interested in
 
At 5am I ended up in the ER today 😨
I have an unresolved physical issue that was more extreme than usual. I just want to find out what is wrong and how to fix it.
The issue is not a constant thing- It only happens occasionally and I don't know why.
I will be trying a suggestion from the doctors and hope it works 🙏
 
on the verge of quitting my job even though none of the others i've applied to have gone anywhere. can't take things much more the way my life is going.
 
In the words of John Bender from The Breakfast Club: "YOU ARE A *****!"

I'm just furious. STOP TRYING TO INFANTILIZE ME. Treating me like a baby, then turning your back on me and saying **** like "don't call me when you get into an accident!" LIKE WHO TF ARE YOU??? I ****ing hate your goddamn guts. Yeah you guys can treat me like **** and I have to just take it??? Calling me a demom and whenever I've done something "wrong" I get compared to my grandpa or communists or my deadbeat dad?? YOU DISGUST ME. I HATE YOU. YOU EVEN ****ING **** ON MY DREAMS, YOU GUYS EVEN MADE FUN OF PSYCHOLOGISTS SAYING THAT I WANNA BE A CRAZY DOCTOR. Funny how you guys are stereotypical asians and wanting me to get straight A's and be a doctor or some **** WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN CARE AND YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THE MEDICAL FIELD! Dumb ****ing asses. Oh and saying that I used to be so happy back then??? Well what could have possibly happened LMAO. Yeah, and you guys just ****ing **** on me whenever I wanna be happy in life - yeah you don't give a **** about my zest for life and adventure, you don't want me to become independent, you hate me for being brave to drive and go on the highway and ****. JUST SO YOU CAN MANIPULATE ME???? I ****ING HATE ALL OF YOU

... I need someone to talk to.
 
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