Firesquids
â§Roxie of Avalarâ§
A T-Rexcellent Party!
"The party starts in twenty minutes.
I'm stuck in here, and the party starts in just twenty. short. minutes.
Why does this kind of thing always happen to me?"
Today started out perfect. I prepared every little thing in advance so that I wouldn't have to worry about setting anything up in a rush. The decorations were hung, twinkling fairy lights with a banner proudly declaring "HAPPY 20th ANNIVERSARY!" in vivid coloration. The cake had been frosted, and the guests had RSVP'd. It was going to be easy, stress free, and nothing was going to go wrong! How naive I was just half an hour ago.
But that's when the package arrived. I had ordered it well in advance to make sure it would arrive in time, and I could not wait. I just had to try it on for size, my Halloween costume. I loaded the thing up with batteries (it takes 20 "D" batteries, you know), unzipped the back, and stepped inside. Oh the excitement I felt, "It's so much larger than I expected!" I thought, "The texture of the skin so detailed! The rows of teeth so sharp and realistic! "This year I'll really show those punk kids what the 'trick' in 'trick or treat' is all about!". But the only trick today, it seems, was the one I played on myself.
I flipped the 'ON' switch of the monstrous suit, and its motor began to roar. 'Twas then that I made my greatest mistake of all, I zipped the zipper up to the top, and the suit began to fill with air. Rapidly inflating in size, the space inside of the suit soon outgrew the space outside of it. The head rose up, along with the fob of the zipper, quickly becoming out of reach. As the folded fabric continued unfurling, soon could be distinguished two huge reptilian legs with clawed feet, and a massive 16 foot long tail.
CRASH! "Oh, no", my heart sunk "The chocolate fountain!". Rich, dark brown, molten chocolate flowed from the rim of the fountain, over the edge of the table, and onto the floor, while from its peak spewed a geyser of the liquid goodness. Seeking to address the sudden onslaught of chocolate, I flipped around, and so did the suit's tail, leaving in its wake a trail of destruction. I desperately reached for the fountain's power cable, but the colossal head of the suit had reached the wall first, and its tiny vestigial arms were doing me no favors.
"Ding-dong!~" I instinctively jolt upright and the tremendous head catches on the banner, displacing it from the wall. As the banner drifts to the floor, I hear a tentative knocking, and the creak of the door, followed abruptly by the running, and the screaming. "No wait! It's just me!" I pleek, but no one could hear me over the suit's roaring motor, and their own shrieks of terror. There would be no help for me, I would need to free myself from the belly of the beast. It was then that I realized what would be my only means of salvation, the cake knife! I turned back to the desserts table, what was left of the cake sat in a pile on the table beside the toppled fountain, the cake knife placed strategically next to its former glory. The cascade of chocolate seemingly endless, I mustered up all of the energy I had left in me, and dove for it. Extending the costume's pitiful arms to their limit, I just barely managed to grab it!
I turn the knife inward to the suit, and it doesn't take much pressure before POP!, the suit bursts open and at last, I am free. As the remains of my costume flutter to the floor and sink into the tar pit of chocolate bellow, I hear cheering from outside. "Wooo! You did it! You slayed the BEAST!" the concerned party goers began to file into the room and lift me from the great pool of fudge. "That was quite a show, but maybe next time you can just hire a clown".
"The party starts in twenty minutes.
I'm stuck in here, and the party starts in just twenty. short. minutes.
Why does this kind of thing always happen to me?"
Today started out perfect. I prepared every little thing in advance so that I wouldn't have to worry about setting anything up in a rush. The decorations were hung, twinkling fairy lights with a banner proudly declaring "HAPPY 20th ANNIVERSARY!" in vivid coloration. The cake had been frosted, and the guests had RSVP'd. It was going to be easy, stress free, and nothing was going to go wrong! How naive I was just half an hour ago.
But that's when the package arrived. I had ordered it well in advance to make sure it would arrive in time, and I could not wait. I just had to try it on for size, my Halloween costume. I loaded the thing up with batteries (it takes 20 "D" batteries, you know), unzipped the back, and stepped inside. Oh the excitement I felt, "It's so much larger than I expected!" I thought, "The texture of the skin so detailed! The rows of teeth so sharp and realistic! "This year I'll really show those punk kids what the 'trick' in 'trick or treat' is all about!". But the only trick today, it seems, was the one I played on myself.
I flipped the 'ON' switch of the monstrous suit, and its motor began to roar. 'Twas then that I made my greatest mistake of all, I zipped the zipper up to the top, and the suit began to fill with air. Rapidly inflating in size, the space inside of the suit soon outgrew the space outside of it. The head rose up, along with the fob of the zipper, quickly becoming out of reach. As the folded fabric continued unfurling, soon could be distinguished two huge reptilian legs with clawed feet, and a massive 16 foot long tail.
CRASH! "Oh, no", my heart sunk "The chocolate fountain!". Rich, dark brown, molten chocolate flowed from the rim of the fountain, over the edge of the table, and onto the floor, while from its peak spewed a geyser of the liquid goodness. Seeking to address the sudden onslaught of chocolate, I flipped around, and so did the suit's tail, leaving in its wake a trail of destruction. I desperately reached for the fountain's power cable, but the colossal head of the suit had reached the wall first, and its tiny vestigial arms were doing me no favors.
"Ding-dong!~" I instinctively jolt upright and the tremendous head catches on the banner, displacing it from the wall. As the banner drifts to the floor, I hear a tentative knocking, and the creak of the door, followed abruptly by the running, and the screaming. "No wait! It's just me!" I pleek, but no one could hear me over the suit's roaring motor, and their own shrieks of terror. There would be no help for me, I would need to free myself from the belly of the beast. It was then that I realized what would be my only means of salvation, the cake knife! I turned back to the desserts table, what was left of the cake sat in a pile on the table beside the toppled fountain, the cake knife placed strategically next to its former glory. The cascade of chocolate seemingly endless, I mustered up all of the energy I had left in me, and dove for it. Extending the costume's pitiful arms to their limit, I just barely managed to grab it!
I turn the knife inward to the suit, and it doesn't take much pressure before POP!, the suit bursts open and at last, I am free. As the remains of my costume flutter to the floor and sink into the tar pit of chocolate bellow, I hear cheering from outside. "Wooo! You did it! You slayed the BEAST!" the concerned party goers began to file into the room and lift me from the great pool of fudge. "That was quite a show, but maybe next time you can just hire a clown".