do you have depression?
- Thread starter visibleghost
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cornimer
grab acorns 'til you're delirious
Since I made this post a year ago, I've been going to therapy and I think the verdict is that I have seasonal depression (SAD) in the winter and sometimes get depressive moods at other times due to lack of confidence/environmental factors such as having no friends in my classes, but I don't have major depressive disorder or anything.
toadsworthy
Tangsworthy
I took control of my depression this year, but I think it started years ago. Somedays I would be so upset with myself I would not be able to get out of bed and affected the things I liked. I'm finally in a place that i can make strides to better myself. I talked to my primary care provider who started me on an antidepressant and I have my first meeting with a therapist this month! I need one already because my job takes an emotional burden, but helping me sort out the stressors that add to my depression I think will be very helpful...
this year has been pretty rough for me mentally; i was on the pill for a few weeks at the very start of the year and suddenly became very anxious. despite stopping taking it, my anxiety has continued but was dismissed as just being a side effect even though it's still there, so i haven't really sought more help for it. i also think part of this is the belief that i'm making it up and don't really have it despite having the symptoms and it being quite debilitating at times. fortunately i've been able to manage it a lot more, but i've been learning to drive recently and i think it's really had a negative impact on my mental health because it's something that makes me feel very anxious and afraid; i dread my driving lessons for a week and can't focus while driving because i feel almost as though i'm not there, shake and my throat goes dry.
i think these experiences of anxiety and panic have generally contributed to my increasing depression, which isn't diagnosed because i don't feel confident enough to seek help despite it being recommended to me. i think this is partially because i don't want to admit to myself that it's there. it's been a very empty and isolating last few months where i've been struggling with existing and confidence. i think this is because i feel like i'm 'behind' my peers (don't have part-time work or a hobby, don't get out much, not very independent, find driving scary and an ordeal). the anxiety part of me is restless and adamant that i need to do something, anything, but the depressed part of me can't find the energy to do it, and convinces me that i shouldn't bother because it's hopeless and i can't do anything about it. i've always had some semblance of confidence in my self-image, academics, values and personal style, but that confidence seems increasingly fragile and trivial and i've come to realise it's not really there, particularly as my anxiety has made me feel a bit 'weak' and 'useless' (this is a self-perception thing not my views on other people who struggle with anxiety). i figured going back to school would make me feel better because it gives me purpose and routine, but i've actually felt a bit worse, which is unusual considering how much i usually enjoy school. my feelings seem to manifest themselves through irritation at myself and the people around me.
sorry this post is very long-winded and personal and venty, but i figured it would be a good place to talk about it !
i think these experiences of anxiety and panic have generally contributed to my increasing depression, which isn't diagnosed because i don't feel confident enough to seek help despite it being recommended to me. i think this is partially because i don't want to admit to myself that it's there. it's been a very empty and isolating last few months where i've been struggling with existing and confidence. i think this is because i feel like i'm 'behind' my peers (don't have part-time work or a hobby, don't get out much, not very independent, find driving scary and an ordeal). the anxiety part of me is restless and adamant that i need to do something, anything, but the depressed part of me can't find the energy to do it, and convinces me that i shouldn't bother because it's hopeless and i can't do anything about it. i've always had some semblance of confidence in my self-image, academics, values and personal style, but that confidence seems increasingly fragile and trivial and i've come to realise it's not really there, particularly as my anxiety has made me feel a bit 'weak' and 'useless' (this is a self-perception thing not my views on other people who struggle with anxiety). i figured going back to school would make me feel better because it gives me purpose and routine, but i've actually felt a bit worse, which is unusual considering how much i usually enjoy school. my feelings seem to manifest themselves through irritation at myself and the people around me.
sorry this post is very long-winded and personal and venty, but i figured it would be a good place to talk about it !
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pumpkins If it helps any, I am with you on being behind peers. I'm 20 yrs old yet I can't go above 20 mph, driving gives me a headache literally everytime after I do a drive around the block, and I don't understand how my parents drive my to work seeing all these horrible drivers everywhere. I feel like my first time on the road alone I will get into an accident, not even from my fault. Other people I know already knew how to drive at like 14, have owned card and pay insurance and have their full permit, meanwhile I still have my learners.
I also don't get out alot, I don't have friends like that. I go shopping occasionally but that's the extent of me 'going out'. I don't do social things.
Take advantage that you don't have a job! I wasn't allowed to have a part time job while I was still in high school. After I graduated I still didn't get a job till I was 19. Honestly, jobs are such a nuisance, I need to get a different one because I never get enough hours. My manager treats me like crap and will cut my hours out of spite fully well knowing I do not sleep well. Just this week I have 2 days of work, and one of those days is a measly 5 hrs shift. That's nothing! My paycheck is gonna suck for that week.
It's fine if it isn't diagnosed, the fact that you can see you have signs is a good start. Knowing these signs, you can stop (most) when they happen. Take driving at your own pace, with your own study methods. Don't over exert yourself with it and remember to put your well being above anything else. If you need to step away from somethin, weather 10 mins or 10 months, do it for you. You'll feel better in the long run which will be better for you.
I also don't get out alot, I don't have friends like that. I go shopping occasionally but that's the extent of me 'going out'. I don't do social things.
Take advantage that you don't have a job! I wasn't allowed to have a part time job while I was still in high school. After I graduated I still didn't get a job till I was 19. Honestly, jobs are such a nuisance, I need to get a different one because I never get enough hours. My manager treats me like crap and will cut my hours out of spite fully well knowing I do not sleep well. Just this week I have 2 days of work, and one of those days is a measly 5 hrs shift. That's nothing! My paycheck is gonna suck for that week.
It's fine if it isn't diagnosed, the fact that you can see you have signs is a good start. Knowing these signs, you can stop (most) when they happen. Take driving at your own pace, with your own study methods. Don't over exert yourself with it and remember to put your well being above anything else. If you need to step away from somethin, weather 10 mins or 10 months, do it for you. You'll feel better in the long run which will be better for you.
Yes moderate to severe, along with moderate anxiety.
I actually am in the middle of a flare up right now. I force myself to continue my routines to help get me out of it. But because I feel so unmotivated, my husband helps pick up the slack so I dont feel like its always on my shoulders.
I have a lot of fatigue that comes with it and my sleep can range from 10 minudes to days if I had the chance. Yes, I sometimes do thinking about harming myself but I am motivated by my children who need me and its helped me stay strong above it all.
Honestly, if I never had them, I dont know where I would be in life today.
My depression stems from childhood traumas that I still cope with today.
I have tried medication but it makes my symptoms worse, and my anxiety worse.
Regardless, I think I have come a long way and have done well so far.
Also, I did try therapy in high school, but have since quit. I'm 25 now.
I actually am in the middle of a flare up right now. I force myself to continue my routines to help get me out of it. But because I feel so unmotivated, my husband helps pick up the slack so I dont feel like its always on my shoulders.
I have a lot of fatigue that comes with it and my sleep can range from 10 minudes to days if I had the chance. Yes, I sometimes do thinking about harming myself but I am motivated by my children who need me and its helped me stay strong above it all.
Honestly, if I never had them, I dont know where I would be in life today.
My depression stems from childhood traumas that I still cope with today.
I have tried medication but it makes my symptoms worse, and my anxiety worse.
Regardless, I think I have come a long way and have done well so far.
Also, I did try therapy in high school, but have since quit. I'm 25 now.
Katzenjammer
♫Cat that Jams♫
Yes, and it's usually quite severe. I also have ptsd and generalized anxiety disorder. Both are pretty severe at times, but it sure doesn't help the depression matters any at all as they all feed one another. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was little. My parents took me to a psychologist early on after displaying behavior I can't even remember, that concerned my parents. For instance, I would stand in the corner and just cry sometimes for long periods of time. Upon further testing later on once it was available, there was a genetic component discovered that came from both sides of my family to where even if I consume 100% of the folate my body can, no matter what, it will never absorb more than half of what a person should have. Folate is actually a factor in my particular depression partially, so that's weird. I do take a supplement for it, which I'm thankful I'm able to do, but it's still very severe much of the time. My heart really goes out to everyone in this thread or anyone suffering from any mental illness or issues. <3
I’ve had clinical depression since I was 10. My great grandma had depression and that was passed down to my mother. The symptoms peaked during my freshman year of high school. Every day was a slog and I couldn’t talk to anyone without being a blubbery mess. The symptoms are reduced when I use my antidepressants, but I revert back to that state whenever I’m without them. Sadly I haven’t received the kind of therapy needed to make living with depression easier.
Mr_Persona
🤍🌌✨🌌🤍
This is old and I voted maybe back then. But now I'm diagnosed with it since 2 years ago or 1 year ago.
but I can't change my vote
Anyways it doesn't bother me and I still feel normal, just less motivated than I was in 2017.
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but I can't change my vote
Anyways it doesn't bother me and I still feel normal, just less motivated than I was in 2017.
saucySheep
I've frikin' LEFT the forum :D bye!! won't miss ya
Idk. sometimes i genuinely dislike my life and really, really wish that i had a different one. then i remember that God has a plan for me and it'll be worth it in the end... if I didn't know the truth of the Bible then i'd have killed myself about a year ago.
so yeah, i've never been diagnosed, if i do have some of depression then i guess im able to handle it.
Depression is a tricky thing. :/
so yeah, i've never been diagnosed, if i do have some of depression then i guess im able to handle it.
Depression is a tricky thing. :/
AppleBitterCrumble
TBT Hoarder
Honestly unsure.
I have days where I struggle and I feel alone and that I feel like a fraud because I hear all these stories that sound way worse than how I have it so I feel like I can't have anxiety, or depression, or an ED. But I have to remind myself that symptoms look different on everyone and just because someone else's anxiety/depression/ed looks different than mine doesn't mean that mine is invalid.
I think when I am back on campus for college I am going to look into using their counseling services so I have a neutral 3rd party who has no previous biases of me so that way I have someone who I can just get all my thoughts out to. Because sometimes I just need to talk to really know how I'm feeling and that's why texting about it with my bf/friends is hard because I don't know how to say it in text.
I have days where I struggle and I feel alone and that I feel like a fraud because I hear all these stories that sound way worse than how I have it so I feel like I can't have anxiety, or depression, or an ED. But I have to remind myself that symptoms look different on everyone and just because someone else's anxiety/depression/ed looks different than mine doesn't mean that mine is invalid.
I think when I am back on campus for college I am going to look into using their counseling services so I have a neutral 3rd party who has no previous biases of me so that way I have someone who I can just get all my thoughts out to. Because sometimes I just need to talk to really know how I'm feeling and that's why texting about it with my bf/friends is hard because I don't know how to say it in text.
I do! I was on a medication for it for around 4 years and just came off of it due to my parents strong-arming me into doing so...
I think I'll be ok in the long run. My issues were more anxiety related and less depression, but I'm trying my best with my current situation. It's really helping that I've been mostly at home this year, and not interacting with strangers. hoping that as the word opens up, I'll also be able to get a new job/ move/ get medical autonomy.
I think I'll be ok in the long run. My issues were more anxiety related and less depression, but I'm trying my best with my current situation. It's really helping that I've been mostly at home this year, and not interacting with strangers. hoping that as the word opens up, I'll also be able to get a new job/ move/ get medical autonomy.
idiotdoomspiral
=__=
i edited my original post on this a while back, i dont remember why exactly probably because i had a different outlook on it or something
depending on the day it ranges from mild to severe. i was told by my psychiatrist that for me it will never really go away, it started in early childhood and was completely untreated for years so my brain has altered and is irreversible in that way, im pretty sure thats what i was told but i could be wrong about the whole science of it. i didnt know i was depressed until therapy was mandatory for me, i basically found out when a social worker told me that i looked incredibly sad which was something i didnt notice at the time. im not on any antidepressants and i havent been for a couple of years now, but i do take antipsychotics which also act as mood stabilizers. my mind is constantly very busy so its easy to distract myself from feeling down for some periods of time.
depending on the day it ranges from mild to severe. i was told by my psychiatrist that for me it will never really go away, it started in early childhood and was completely untreated for years so my brain has altered and is irreversible in that way, im pretty sure thats what i was told but i could be wrong about the whole science of it. i didnt know i was depressed until therapy was mandatory for me, i basically found out when a social worker told me that i looked incredibly sad which was something i didnt notice at the time. im not on any antidepressants and i havent been for a couple of years now, but i do take antipsychotics which also act as mood stabilizers. my mind is constantly very busy so its easy to distract myself from feeling down for some periods of time.
visibleghost
ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ
Haha i thought i was doing better (because i am, thanks to medication) so together with my doctor we decided that i should go down in dose for one of my antidepressants. it's not good to take as much as i was taking with the combination of medications (basically you get very high levels of the medication in your blood) i was on so i was all like "cool ok let's do that, i'm good and besides when i started them i didn't notice a huge difference so let's gooo" and then i cried every single day (five times in one day :') ) after not crying for months, almost relapsed in my sh and wanted to kill myself because i was stressed about school. lol. i started taking my old dose a few days ago (without talking to my doctor but i'll have to give them a call soon) and i already feel better. i cannot believe i used to live like that and feel even worse like bro what the hell. i'd rather die than be unmedicated, i can't imagine what it would be like if i stopped taking the medication that i actually saw results with. i think i had forgotten how much depression sucks
basically i don't want to mess with my meds again. no thank u.
basically i don't want to mess with my meds again. no thank u.
idk your situation but i was basically told i was going to be like this forever and then i got on a combination of antipsychotics and two antidepressants that made an enormous difference in my depression. while i still have the disorder, it's manageable. just because you'll have to deal with it forever doesn't mean it will suck forever. idk but it just sounds like them telling you that wasn't great for you
it's generally unhelpful to compare your own issues to other people's issues, which you seem to know already hhh. but i just wanted to say that if you are suffering, you're suffering, right? no matter how bad other people have it, you're still struggling and would benefit from help. some disorders are often quite competitive (like EDs, generally) and it's difficult to just turn that voice off that tells you you need to be the worst to get help, but if it's possible to get away from thoughts like "i don't deserve treatment because..." or "other people have it worse so i can't have it that bad" it will help a lot. being kinder to yourself is a step towards shutting thoughts like that out.
AppleBitterCrumble
TBT Hoarder
Yeah I'd say I'm suffering, I don't want to misdiagnose though! I think that's another reason why seeing my college's counseling center could be of use to me because not only is it covered under my insurance, but also I just like want to know if I actually do have these things or if I just have symptoms/am making it to be a bigger deal than what it really is. Like I feel stuck because I don't want to downplay anything but I also don't want to invalidate people who actually deal with these things.
