do you have depression?

[DinosaurDumpster]

I probably do have depression. I'm self-diagnosed, which I know isn't really the best way to figure things out, but knowing how I think and act, it's likely I have some sort of depression.

I have been struggling with depression and anxiety related issues since the 6th grade (I was about 10-11 years old). Surprisingly, nobody has seemed to notice that most of my time is spent crying myself to sleep and wanting to kill myself, but because of anxiety I'm too scared to even damage myself (even if I want to). At one point, my sister who I share a room with caught on to me crying in my sleep, so I trained myself to cry quietly.

Most of the time, I'd say i'm sleeping or not enjoying life. Most of the time when I'm laughing and smiling around people these days, i'm just faking it to try and pass off as being happy. Meanwhile on the inside i'm just hurting.

I'd say most of the reasons involving my anxiety and depression-related struggles now would probably be being forgotten in the past, the majority of my life being bullied, pushed aside, etc.
But the main reason was I was just in an awful relationship with a so-called "friend", who would use everything I hated about myself against me. Now I can't even make friends =,) (I never could but now I really can't, she was one of my first real friends)

 

[EmmaFrost]

I have severe depression. I've taken meds for years and I have a therapist but it's still pervasive. It impacts my daily life. Every single day. I really don't know why I'm still here.

 

[pochy]

Spoiler

i've had moderate/severe depression for the past 4 years.

i don't like to talk about it, but depression can be really inhabilitating, especially when i try to have something to look forward to. my exhaustion just takes over and i sleep alot, but my friends just think i'm lazy (haven't told them about me going therapy or anything).

it's embarassing when i can't complete basic tasks, but i really don't want to take antidepressants even though i've been prescribed some. i'm scared that i might not be able to function normally without them, so i might as well just keep trying to enduring on my own, even though i know that i probably won't get better like this

 

[hakutaku]

I've had depression since I was 14 years old I think, I've never been diagnosed though. Paired with my anxiety it's really not good. Saps you of all motivation to do anything, hinders your confidence, makes you tired all the time but you can't sleep bc of the anxiety. It fluctuates a lot, usually it's easier to deal with in summer.

 

[ting1984]

I'm unsure, but my beloved husband believes he does. Our depression is alleviated by being in each other's company.

 

[Katzenjammer]

don't we all have depression? those who say they don't are obviously lying. I mean, living in this kind of world promises depression at some point.

No, we don't all have depression, especially considering how many different types of depression there are, and their various causes. That's like saying, don't we all have *insert disease or injury here*? Sadness and depression are very different things.

 

[visibleghost]

Spoiler

i've had moderate/severe depression for the past 4 years.

i don't like to talk about it, but depression can be really inhabilitating, especially when i try to have something to look forward to. my exhaustion just takes over and i sleep alot, but my friends just think i'm lazy (haven't told them about me going therapy or anything).

it's embarassing when i can't complete basic tasks, but i really don't want to take antidepressants even though i've been prescribed some. i'm scared that i might not be able to function normally without them, so i might as well just keep trying to enduring on my own, even though i know that i probably won't get better like this

are you able to function as it is right now, without the medication? or are you struggling with most things in your daily life, making every day hard?

being afraid of being medicated because you might not be able to be without them is, i wouldn't say silly, but to me it does not make sense. going off medication doesn't make your brain much worse than before (generally) it's like being unmedicated in the first place, you're just unused to feeling terrible so it might feel worse.

i think you should reconsider taking antidepressants. not all of them work great for everyone, but if you can even get a little effect it will be worth it. many people can get off medication after a while but there's no shame in needing medication for years or the rest of your life.

of course, in some countries there is a money aspect to it so i get that it's not easy for everyone to get medication.

also i totally get that it's your personal decision and obviously it's up to you, i just think you should know that life doesn't have to be miserable and medication can make it much easier. that's all ok yee

 

[BluebearL]

I have pretty serve anxiety which has caused me to go into periods of depression before and it's pretty rough. I also have event depression so I never fully enjoy things like birthday, Christmas etc. I have very low self esteem, particularly as a result of my over-self conscious mind that questions everything I do. Corona certainly hasn't been good for me, I have being trying to recover ever since but I would say I am doing alright at the moment. Not experiencing depression right now but definitely anxiety as per usual. It's really strange when I experience both at the same time, it can make me come across as aggressive but yeah I feel nothing yet everything at the same time when that happens. I tend to become very shut down in the worst of it. I am very lucky to have lots of friends and family that have been incredibly supportive though, I certainly don't have it as bad as others in terms of mental health but the anxiety can be crippling.

 

[visibleghost]

don't we all have depression? those who say they don't are obviously lying. I mean, living in this kind of world promises depression at some point.

not really. this is probably at some level a joke but yeah.
depression is a mental illness. it's extremely normal to experience symptoms of depression, that's just life and everyone capable of emotion will feel sad, anxious, lonely or depressed at some point. it's when it starts affecting your daily life to a certain extent that it's diagnosable.

that being said, it's incredibly easy to be diagnosed with depression. it doesn't have to be "that bad" to be diagnosed. so a lot of people do qualify for a diagnosis, that's true. it is far from everyone though.

i also think the mindset "everyone is depressed" is kind of harmful, in some ways. first off, it invalidates depression as a "that's just how everyone feels"-thing, which isn't really the case, secondly it is extremely negative (i don't blame you, though) and sort of just kills the vibe we try to get about recovery. this world is far from perfect but existence does not have to be a miserable hell of suffering. it's hard to believe when you're in it and it's difficult to understand the extent of suffering people go through when you're not, but like... you can actually be not depressed. it's wild, but true

idk if this makes sense but Basically. depression bad. but not everyone has it. thx bye

 

[pochy]

are you able to function as it is right now, without the medication? or are you struggling with most things in your daily life, making every day hard?

being afraid of being medicated because you might not be able to be without them is, i wouldn't say silly, but to me it does not make sense. going off medication doesn't make your brain much worse than before (generally) it's like being unmedicated in the first place, you're just unused to feeling terrible so it might feel worse.

i think you should reconsider taking antidepressants. not all of them work great for everyone, but if you can even get a little effect it will be worth it. many people can get off medication after a while but there's no shame in needing medication for years or the rest of your life.

of course, in some countries there is a money aspect to it so i get that it's not easy for everyone to get medication.

also i totally get that it's your personal decision and obviously it's up to you, i just think you should know that life doesn't have to be miserable and medication can make it much easier. that's all ok yee

thanks for your reply i do struggle quite a bit. sometimes, like when i skip a lecture, i blame it on me being lazy. it's hard to differentiate where the laziness stops and where the depression begins. so sometimes, my depression feels like a "personal choice" (even if it isn't) in the way where you can choose to be lazy or not if you know what i mean? sorry i hope i'm not being confusing

sometimes i really want to think that it's just me being lazy and that's why i don't need antidepressants.
i think most of all i'm just afraid they won't work and it was just my laziness and bad attitude the whole time. even though i was diagnosed so that's a dumb point but still i do think alot of my behavior does point towards me needing them if i like it or not though. what you said about going off medication does relax me more on the notion of taking them. it is pretty tiring always feeling low, and if medication helps take those lows away, i think that would really help me (especially at school) but i'm still always kinda worried they won't work. i also feel better knowing that lots of people online take medication,but mental health in my country is more of a taboo, even though we have free healthcare. i do feel like talking to my mom about meds again tho, maybe she could get me some...

 

[Dunquixote]

I have mild or moderate depression (well it was diagnosed as that) but there have been a lot of times it was/is severe. I have asperger’s, OCD, and severe anxiety (general and social anxiety) as well. They all have been extremely debilitating. >< I cannot think of let alone find a job that is accommodating to it. :/

 

[Stella-Io]

Still don't know what vote to pick.

It's been a while since I last posted in here. I said I had it in my middle school days and I believe I had another depressive thing for a couple of months back at my old job. Idk if I should call it an episode or not. I can't remember when it started (cause ya know depression makes your memory funky) but I know I ATLEAST had it starting in November and it finally ended in late June. I remember noticing the signs late into it, like May-ish. Loss of appetite, super loss of motivation, I didn't enjoy my hobbies anymore, general unhappiness with my life, bad thoughts, loss of sleep, easily irritable/lose patience easily yet still having a down mood alot. It sucked. I didn't realize how bad it was until I had quit that job and didn't get another job like 2 months later. Once I quit and a while after that I realized 'holy crap that was bad'.

Once again, I'm still afraid that because I was never officially diagnosed that it'll come back. It's not like I can exactly get diagnosed anyway. My family did not notice (and this time I wasn't exactly hiding it), or they simply did not care cause they did nothing about it. My parents don't understand depression, they think it just makes people angry and do stupid things. The first time I was depressed they were just mad at me. The latest time they saw that I was miserable and but only really reacted when I was irritated by getting mad at me saying I needed to get some patience.

I'm fine now, and I guess the only thing I can do to prevent getting that depressed again is to not let myself stay in that situation that causes it. I should have quit my job MONTHS sooner than I did, but I didn't until I got fed up with it. I need to cut myself away from situations and places that cause me that much misery before it gets bad, and be always actively looking at my mental health.

 

[Xara]

sadly, yes. i was diagnosed back when i was in middle school and while i wouldn’t necessarily say that it’s severe, it’s still incredibly deliberating. i’m constantly dealing with suicidal thoughts, irritability, fatigue, etc, which burdens not just me, but everyone around me, and i’m ashamed of that. most days, i find myself unable to complete the simplest of tasks and i can’t even begin to articulate just how much i loathe myself for it. depression has robbed me of a good quality of life and while this sounds awful, a part of me wishes that it stemmed from something like a tumour or a cyst, rather than a chemical imbalance, as at least that way, i might actually feel like my state of mind is valid. however, i’ve been consistently medicated for a little over a year now and while my existence is still exhausting, treatment has thankfully helped a little bit. but still, depression has reduced me to only being able to exist, rather than actually living, and i would give anything for things to be different.

 

[Romaki]

Interesting that I voted on this with maybe. I got diagnosed last year and have been on medication since then. It really changed my life, I'm so happy I'm capable of doing things again. Even basic things like hygiene.

 

[neoqueenserenity]

I voted other.
I had dysthymia majority of my teenage years. I took antidepressants and went to therapy several times a month. I loved my therapist, she was great but my insurance only covered the expenses until I was 18 (definitely needed to see her even after age 18). My antidepressants were also great, but I realized they were numbing my emotions versus helping me actually cope with them, so some of my intimate relationships actually suffered from that. My body also suffered because of my emotions, self harm and substance abuse are very real problems. I was hospitalized at one point, but that is a whole story of its own.

Am I still depressed? I get sad every now and then, but nowhere near the low points of my life. I think my anxiety in the last couple of years has moderately spiked more than anything due to my job and family-related issues, though. I've been considering finally going to see a doctor and maybe start some meds, I just haven't done it yet.

 

[eseamir]

I've struggled on and off with depression for a super long time, it got particularly bad when I was in my last year at university (almost failed out of my degree because of it) and then died down a bit until last year when I ended up having to go to therapy Twice for an emergency set of sessions because of being massively emotionally dragged down by some super sh***y relationship issues going on that ended up with me considering driving off a cliff

in my personal experience my anxiety is usually my mental health thing that wins in a lot of situations and I'm 100% sure that's why I'm still around today (things got pretty dark for a very long time when I was studying, lots of academic pressure and deeply rooted impostor syndrome that increased feelings of low self-esteem) because I could never get past the anxiety spiral that happened whenever I was actually dealing with suicidal thoughts

I'm doing a lot better now and I feel a lot more stable a lot of the time but occasionally I'll still have void days where everything feels super far away and like nothing I do actually matters but I've got a really supportive fiance now which is super helpful and I've also learned a lot of good strategies for managing myself from my therapist (she was a gem, constantly dealing with my emotional pisces bulls**t)

 

[visibleghost]

I voted other.
I had dysthymia majority of my teenage years. I took antidepressants and went to therapy several times a month. I loved my therapist, she was great but my insurance only covered the expenses until I was 18 (definitely needed to see her even after age 18). My antidepressants were also great, but I realized they were numbing my emotions versus helping me actually cope with them, so some of my intimate relationships actually suffered from that. My body also suffered because of my emotions, self harm and substance abuse are very real problems. I was hospitalized at one point, but that is a whole story of its own.

Am I still depressed? I get sad every now and then, but nowhere near the low points of my life. I think my anxiety in the last couple of years has moderately spiked more than anything due to my job and family-related issues, though. I've been considering finally going to see a doctor and maybe start some meds, I just haven't done it yet.

sorry to hear that you've suffered a lot, that sucks.
i have a question, how do you feel about the diagnosis dysthymia? a psychologist diagnosed me with it when i was 18 and i felt really offended (.... don't laugh but i read on swedish wikipedia (specified because english wikipedia seems to have a different definition..? and no i don't read the dsm) that it's less severe than mdd and i was like Excuse Me don't come into my brain and disrespect my depression) but it might be something that actually isn't an "offensive" diagnosis when i look back at it. i always considered myself chronically depressed rather than dysthymic or something else, but like, how do you feel about the different labels? idk if this made sense but yyhhjrfd

 

[LadyDestani]

I previously wrote that I had mild depression that I was able to control on my own, but these past two years have taken a major downward turn. 2019 was easily the most difficult year for me and I pretty much shut down emotionally as my only means of surviving. I lost all hope in everything that year, felt like I had nothing to look forward to, and couldn't find joy in anything. I was never suicidal but I wished for death constantly.

Towards the end of 2019 and into the beginning of 2020, I started to realize the toll that my emotional shutdown was taking on my marriage and I resolved to try to correct that. Unfortunately, just as I was starting to open myself back up again, I got hit with some major family health issues and COVID-19 happened. The stresses from this year have not helped me cope very well, but I've at least managed to put on a good face and push through it all so far.

I still feel no hope, no excitement, no joy. I know I've reached a point where I need to see someone professionally, but time and money are always an issue. Time, especially, is the biggest factor because between my job and taking care of my family this year, I've had no time to do anything for myself. I'm hoping maybe sometime next year things will get back on track enough so that I can at least consult the free counselors that my employer provides and get some idea of where to go next.

 

[deleted]

I feel like I may have anxiety. I’ve never been tested or diagnosed, though, so I don’t want to self-diagnose.

My boyfriend has diagnosed depression and takes medication for it. I love him very much. I feel like people with depression are stigmatized to hell for no reason. Y’all are doing great.

 

[Fjoora]

These statistics are positively staggering to see, but I'm actually not surprised.
I've just watched a podcast recently on this topic, and it can actually shed some light on it.
You see, there have already been polls conducted on this sight that conclude that around eighty percent of the population on these forums are female, and if you've taken a look at the recent depression rates among young females, you'd be pretty bummed to see that it's massively on the rise. Nothing has been stated conclusively as to why, but it seems to coincide perfectly with the rise of social media. As soon as children had access to it, it was a detriment on their lives, but you can hear more about it at this link: