Does someone expressing romantic interest in you ruin your friendship with them?

[A spooky ghost!]

Honestly it did for me we don't speak anymore I'll just be the girl who broke his heart.

 

[Fearthecuteness]

This has, unfortunately, happened to me many times. A guy friend would express their feelings, even knowing I have a bf, and when I try to move past it, they get mad, or try to sabotage my relationship. I've lost almost all my guy friends over this and they never want to stay just friends, which means that they were only friends with me while having ulterior motives. It's heartbreaking because they meant a lot to me but it's ridiculous to get mad when they know I wouldn't leave my bf for anyone in the first place. So yeah, it's a pretty stupid thing that's always bothered me. If the friendship is real and important, then you should be able to move past it. Unfortunately, some people might have egos that will not allow this.

This is because like 95% of the time guys only hang out with girls to get in their pants or because they wanna go out with them. Guys are too egotistical for their own good and too many think with their dicks.

 

[carp]

if u proclaim ur lov when we just chillin as chills i blockin ur a$$ quicker than usain husain bolt boi

 

[Aronthaer]

This is because like 95% of the time guys only hang out with girls to get in their pants or because they wanna go out with them. Guys are too egotistical for their own good and too many think with their dicks.

whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa

Please don't

Don't even go there dude

My friend groups consist of both guys and girls, who all get along fine with each other. no one's trying to get into anyone's pants. Don't you think it's maybe a little bit sexist to say that "95 percent" of men are egotistical *******s?

 

[N a t]

whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa

Please don't

Don't even go there dude

My friend groups consist of both guys and girls, who all get along fine with each other. no one's trying to get into anyone's pants. Don't you think it's maybe a little bit sexist to say that "95 percent" of men are egotistical *******s?

I agree. That's kind of messed up. I'm sure if a guy said something about how loose most girls are these days and that all girls are *****s, the female population on this site would be losing their mind.

- - - Post Merge - - -

And yes, I'm a girl, and while I don't freak out when you get the occasional guy that stereotypes all females as loose or stuck up, it isn't nice to hear those things. It goes both ways.

 

[pinkbunny]

although I would always continue the friendship, when a friend expresses emotion towards you and you dont feel the same its always awkward and I feel like its never the same afterwards

 

[N a t]

although I would always continue the friendship, when a friend expresses emotion towards you and you dont feel the same its always awkward and I feel like its never the same afterwards

It definitely is not the same. Personal experience here.

 

[Sergi]

Nah, I choose not to let it bother me. I let them decide what they want to do. I'm not going to judge them or push them away if they have feelings. I will continue to hang out with them without leading them on and letting them know we're just friends. Sometimes it becomes too much for them though and they can't be around the person they like. That's what I mean by letting them choose.

 

[oliversacnl]

It used to make me uncomfortable, but now I don't mind it so much. As long as the person is being flattering and not creepy, I don't mind it at all.

I would worry that if they stopped having a crush on me that the friendship would end. that's my biggest problem, I think. If the friendship was born because they thought they had a shot with me, then realized that they didn't, then they could leave the friendship...

Meh. Their loss.

 

[fenris]

the only reason someone expressing romantic interest in me would ruin our friendship would be if I didn't reciprocate their interest and they kept pushing, or if they tried to get me to leave my husband for them (the concept of cheating is a non-issue here, hubby's cool with the idea of me seeing other people as long as I'm open and honest with him).

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

This is because like 95% of the time guys only hang out with girls to get in their pants or because they wanna go out with them. Guys are too egotistical for their own good and too many think with their dicks.

I don't agree at all with this statement. I think I've just had bad luck and just been meeting all the wrong people. I know people with guy friends who aren't like that at all. I mean, on the other side of that is that most of the girls I've met have been backstabbers and very superficial. But I'm not gonna say that the vast majority of women are like that. I just don't meet enough people to find the good ones. Bad luck mixed with social anxiety means I don't approach people that I'd like to be friends with, and I'm always approached by people who only want to take advantage. It's not a gender thing at all.

 

[Rabirin]

a bit, it makes me feel quite awkward and uncomfortable around them but that's probably because i'm socially inept, and i often try to change the subject and act like it never happened. it won't stop me from being friends with them, but it'll make me feel real awkward whenever i'm around them. i'm almost never the person who admits romantic interest or feelings to somebody, and if it happens that a friend likes me in that way it's usually them who'll say.

 

[Corrie]

This has, unfortunately, happened to me many times. A guy friend would express their feelings, even knowing I have a bf, and when I try to move past it, they get mad, or try to sabotage my relationship. I've lost almost all my guy friends over this and they never want to stay just friends, which means that they were only friends with me while having ulterior motives. It's heartbreaking because they meant a lot to me but it's ridiculous to get mad when they know I wouldn't leave my bf for anyone in the first place. So yeah, it's a pretty stupid thing that's always bothered me. If the friendship is real and important, then you should be able to move past it. Unfortunately, some people might have egos that will not allow this.

I feel you! I've had several guy friends of mine only be my friend in order to try to get closer to me to perhaps get a chance to date me. It's a really awful feeling when you find this news out and while others may spite you and tell you that you should be lucky people are interested in you, these type of people are usually borderline manipulative. After the first one or second one, you assume that you can see the signs since you've experienced them before but everyone is different and uses different methods to attempt to gain your affection so you're stuck not knowing until something explodes in your face.

I had a guy friend tell me to dump my ex for him. He went so far as to tell my coworker to constant tell me that him and I would make a great pair. It was really awkward for me and honestly the only thing that stopped him was when I broke up with my ex and ended up getting together with my current boyfriend. It was a mess because we all worked at the same store. He then took that as a sign that it wasn't going to work and he instantly stopped talking to me. As sad I was to lose a guy friend, he clearly wasn't a good friend and having that pressure off me felt so good.

 

[Ghost Soda]

For me it depends on how they act when I tell them I'm not interested. If they're cool about it and accept that we're going to stay friends then things would be fine but if they act like a whiny, self-entitled turkey about it or insist that I'll "change my mind about it" then that'll definitely ruin the friendship!

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

I feel you! I've had several guy friends of mine only be my friend in order to try to get closer to me to perhaps get a chance to date me. It's a really awful feeling when you find this news out and while others may spite you and tell you that you should be lucky people are interested in you, these type of people are usually borderline manipulative. After the first one or second one, you assume that you can see the signs since you've experienced them before but everyone is different and uses different methods to attempt to gain your affection so you're stuck not knowing until something explodes in your face.

I had a guy friend tell me to dump my ex for him. He went so far as to tell my coworker to constant tell me that him and I would make a great pair. It was really awkward for me and honestly the only thing that stopped him was when I broke up with my ex and ended up getting together with my current boyfriend. It was a mess because we all worked at the same store. He then took that as a sign that it wasn't going to work and he instantly stopped talking to me. As sad I was to lose a guy friend, he clearly wasn't a good friend and having that pressure off me felt so good.

I can totally relate It's such a sad thing, especially when you are so invested in the friendship. I had a friend who I got along with so well, and he was my closest friend at the time. Then one day he told me he "loved" me. Now, he was well aware that I was in a long term relationship, and he even met my bf. So I told him, that I wasn't interested in him like that. He insisted he would be better for me than my bf, and I got really annoyed. It turned into a terrible argument and then he told me, "Well I saw him cheating on you with another girl!" This was a complete lie, obviously. I even asked for details and suddenly he was like, "Oh since you don't believe me, I won't tell you." I was so incredibly hurt by this, that he would go so far as to lie about something like that. It truly destroyed my trust in him. He eventually started begging me to stay his friend, saying sorry, but not admitting to the lie. He made up so many stories to excuse his behaviour and I was just done.

I've also had this guy start calling me names and start being really verbally abusive toward me because I wouldn't break up with my bf for him. He said I "obviously want attention" because when we met, I was wearing a top with some cleavage :/ Seriously, I was just wearing a regular tank top, so sorry if my boobs naturally are like that. I'm not going to wear a turtleneck in the summer. He started calling me names, harassing me, telling me that I'm a woman and therefore I need him (he was the most sexist person ever). He then was like, "You don't know who you're dealing with here." And he started insinuating that he had a lot of power over me and I should do what he said.

Gosh, some people are just jerks really. Lots of egos that are much too big for their own good.

 

[Nuclear Bingo]

This is because like 95% of the time guys only hang out with girls to get in their pants or because they wanna go out with them. Guys are too egotistical for their own good and too many think with their dicks.

No, this is true. Guys try to keep it a secret, horribly so. if you are a girl and you have a guy friend who always initiates or acts really kind for no reason, he wants you romantically. If the dude is being weirdly available and nice, your suspicions are correct. All guys think like this often. It's not sexist. The girls in this thread mention it happening before and to them and then the guy gets upset. It's because he was never really being sincere.

 

[N a t]

No, this is true. Guys try to keep it a secret, horribly so. if you are a girl and you have a guy friend who always initiates or acts really kind for no reason, he wants you romantically. If the dude is being weirdly available and nice, your suspicions are correct. All guys think like this often. It's not sexist. The girls in this thread mention it happening before and to them and then the guy gets upset. It's because he was never really being sincere.

I mean, yes this is true, and probably for females too, but not always so. One of my guy friends was like this because he was in fact using me to get free stuff, and another of my guy friends acts like this, and I thought that he may be slightly interested in me, as i was very interested in him, but twice over a span of several years I tried to initiate something with him, I was very forward and clear about it, and he declined my offer both times. He isn't gay, and he's never had a real girl friend. But he's sups6er nice and wants to hang out all the time. He's just a genuine friend.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I really only disliked that when everybody seems to bring this up for either sex, they always turn it into some awful generalization or stereotype that I see as insulting. Nowadays all i see are social media posts and jokes about **** boys and "thot"s.

 

[Nuclear Bingo]

I mean, yes this is true, and probably for females too, but not always so. One of my guy friends was like this because he was in fact using me to get free stuff, and another of my guy friends acts like this, and I thought that he may be slightly interested in me, as i was very interested in him, but twice over a span of several years I tried to initiate something with him, I was very forward and clear about it, and he declined my offer both times. He isn't gay, and he's never had a real girl friend. But he's sups6er nice and wants to hang out all the time. He's just a genuine friend.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I really only disliked that when everybody seems to bring this up for either sex, they always turn it into some awful generalization or stereotype that I see as insulting. Nowadays all i see are social media posts and jokes about **** boys and "thot"s.

such is life, huh?

 

[radical6]

Only if they complain about the friend zone

 

[crystalchild]

i think this is a tricky thing that would depend on a lot of factors. cutting someone off solely because they have feelings for you strikes me as rash and insensitive, but if it turns out they only hung out with you due to that attraction, then its reasonable i guess. i wouldnt be comfortable with someone who only really wanted to get in my pants, but if its a genuine friend who happened to develop romantic feelings along the way, then ill respectfully decline and hope they can let go of those feelings and still be pals.