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how are you feeling right now?

Good, I enjoyed the new Doctor Strange movie, have had a good night
 
Antsy. It’s two in the morning, but I’m wide awake. So much for fixing my sleep schedule…
 
very relieved since I got a 2nd opinion from a doctor and they advised me not to take the medication that the diabetic doctor gave me.
 
Not great. I had to listen to people in my apartment building’s lobby gossip about me. All I did was accidentally sit in the lounge during a group’s Facebook meeting. Apparently not leaving when they asked to (they had no authority to do this) makes me an awful person.
 
not great, my flight got cancelled and subsequently my entire vacation :cautious: my mum's been trying to cheer me up by discussing more plans to go to Northern Ireland + Ireland later on this month, and maybe trying to drive to France too 😅
 
Happy. Tomorrow is my birthday <33333

Edit: Since it’s past midnight now, it’s technically today 🥳🥳🥳
 
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Not great. I’m ruminating over things that are long over yet again. It’s making me struggle to focus on what I’m doing.
 
I feel dumb for leaving my charger block on the train along with my headphones. Luckily, I was able to get new ones but damn. Thankfully I have Ebay as a second job, lol. It didn’t help I was being rushed off the train because I was sleeping and nobody woke me up until the last minute.
 
Happy about my pretzels 🥨

At first I thought you said "how about my pretzels" instead of "happy about my pretzels." I was so confused, LMAO. I'm like, is pretzels a feeling now? 😂

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I'm feeling really happy right now because of my partner and friends. :giggle:
 
At first I thought you said "how about my pretzels" instead of "happy about my pretzels." I was so confused, LMAO. I'm like, is pretzels a feeling now? 😂

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I'm feeling really happy right now because of my partner and friends. :giggle:

Lol! English language adapts so quickly who knows..
Pretzel is like crunchie/crisp and a lil salty.
So it could mean like "bro I'm feeling pretzels 2day"
Meaning, "Hi friend, I am feeling weak today."
Assuming crunchie and crisp mean hard yet brittle and salty means passive aggressive.
 
absolutely terrible because i'm not doing well Mental Health Wise atm due to all my habits and routine being messed up from working weird hours and having to live with my parents. it's past midnight and i have no chance of sleeping in hours because of my messed up sleeping schedule. i want to go outside because i honestly think that would make me feel less anxious and sad but i feel like i can't because it's late and i'm staying with my parents atm.
i had a really bad relapse after being "fine" in the sense of bp issues for weeks. i'm dealing with so many urges, so much guilt and i feel like a failure. i feel like the past few months have been all for nothing because of ONE day, and i know that's irrational and stupid but it really feels like i'm wasting my life on a disorder and i can't even be good at it, instead i'm just making myself miserable every single day for no reason other than dealing with guilt and anxiety from when i do end up eating, overeating or even binging. it's just such a struggle atm because i can't get psychiatric help for my issues until i'm sick in an acceptable way (in my own head) and i'm not ready to get better when i am like this.

i'm working on better habits but it's so hard because at the same time i have to hide every sign of a disorder from the people around me, and it is so much work to not seem suspicious when every single thought i have is connected to my eating disorder. i'm stuck compulsively doing behaviors in secret while having to eat on top of that and because i can't control my food as much as i would like i just feel so powerless and out of control and i am so so so worried my bulimia will get way way worse like it was a year or two ago. sorry for ranting but it's a lot to deal with atm. i wish i could say i was happy, and i probably am in some ways (i forgot to take several doses of my meds so maybe it's that), but right now i'm not doing well.
 
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