how are you feeling right now?

I'm feeling okay I suppose, but I feel empty and sad. I haven't actually celebrated Christmas for years, and yet I can never shake the feeling that this is supposed to be a special day. this house is too depressing for Christmas cheer. and I was hoping to spend time with my love, but he's dealing with personal stuff.

I dunno, I guess it's just another day. I just want the holiday season to be over honestly 😔
 
Other than being swore and tired from this week, my mood's a lot better now. I'm sorry if some of my posts were... out there. I was just so tired and agitated from work during this holiday week and my coworkers and customers certainly didn't make things easy. I end up feeling guilty for losing it and feel much worse because of it... but I'm over it now. Christmas with my family had been nice at least for the most part.
 
NOOO i missed a spontaneous outing with friends last night............ i was so into the lecture that i didnt see my friends chatting about a spontaneous party at 9 in the evening. the ONE time i didnt bother to backread the chat : ( anyway we r still going out on the 29th but STILL man....... i missed a cool celeb
 
I'm feeling so content, happy, and for the first time in a long time, free.... these next five or so months and next year in general are going to be so amazing and a huge step up for me. Can't wait. < 3
 
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