How do you deal with having no friends?

[gabuie]

just remember you're not alone, i mean looking at all these people reaching at to you in the same position as you! before you even "deal with having no friends" you have to deal with yourself. how do i deal with not having friends? i don't, i just do my own things and it doesn't come in my mind because i am constantly doing something

 

[Sparklingsmile]

Growing up I was home schooled, so I didn't have any friends at all, just my mom and sisters. Having no friends was..pretty tough, while I had kids I hung out with I didn't really have best friends, even If they invited me to parties I was always the odd one out and even tho they invited me they wouldn't include me even when I tried to talk with them, one by one they stopped talking to be and ignoring me, I was heart broken. So reading this now, yes It's very lonely growing up without any friends and It was hard on me so I can understand how you and others feel about It, So naturally video games became my escape! And in Animal crossing I had all the friends I needed and realized that I didn't need to go out there and look for friends, that they would find me. And in my teens around 14-15 I met two friends of mine online, CJ and Emilia. We're going on being friends for ten years now! So see, It's not about searching or looking for friends, even If It's hard you can get through It! They just find you or eventually you find them. So don't be so hard on yourself about not having any friends, they will come naturally in time. And feel free to add me, I'm always up for chatting!

 

[Jesusrey91]

My advice is: Keep enjoying your time alone, friends (and acquantainces) will eventually come... (and they will go too)

From experience: I used to have lots of friends, but nowadays I'm extremely lonely, most of them went away to keep doing their stuf, so I just game all I can and watch Netflix and study and go to a forum of Animal Crossing players (4th wall break? )

Conclusion: It doesn't have to be an issue, first and foremost because that's just your personality. Second is a little bit deeper... but remember we are truly alone in our existence. Our consciousness was designed to have individuality. Maybe in the future there will exist an evolutionary version of the human which has a shared consciousness, but that's not us, so don't worry about having to make friends. Just be grateful for the acquantainces you will meet, the ones that stay and that ones that leave, and if there are none, enjoy that time you have for yourself. The world is vast and endless, there are many things to learn and experiment in this crazy world many you will like and many you won't... just keep living them all!

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

I've been kind of a loner since middle school. Almost always ate lunch alone in middle school/high school. I graduated college last summer, and I never was invited to a single party during college.
I really only have my fiance, my cats, my mom and this one online friend I talk to maybe once every few months. It used to really bother me that I had nearly no friends, but I think that's just because people expect you to have friends, and if you don't then you're automatically seen as some kinda freak or something.
I'm shy, I have anxiety and I'm very introverted, but I think I just like having a lot of time to myself. Being around people takes up so much of my energy.

If you don't have friends, I don't think you should worry about it. It doesn't mean you're a freak or a bad person. If you want friends, you'll eventually find some! You might just have to put yourself out there a bit more than you'd like to. In the meantime, playing video games and listening to music and watching Netflix helps IMO.

 

[visibleghost]

i have 0 friends in school rn and i just do stuff alone. i use the time between lessons to play games or study or check forums. i listen to music all the time too so idk i kind of ignore or shut out other ppl. it doesnt bother me that much anymore but a few months ago i was rly sad anout it lmao but now ive just accepted that im a pathetic loser with no friends

 

[Romaki]

People never really liked me, whether it be off or online. I wasted a lot of my own potential and time trying to please people who couldn't be pleased. As a kid I was really, really depressed about it and didn't wanna leave my bed or go to school when I was 9-18. But you'll get used to it, it becomes a routine. It's okay to be alone and have no one. Most people will say that you do and that there are always people who will listen, but that's just not a reality for everybody.

You can try to waste more of your life throwing a pity party for yourself hoping that strangers will give you little to no attention for doing so, or you can try to find a life that's worth living regardless of the input that other human beings might have. If you have a loving family and a partner, you have a lot of friends already. Lots of people don't have anyone to text in a time of need, and that's where forums like this come in handy.

 

[Spooky.]

I have maybe 1 unreliable friend on the internet, and that's it. I don't have any friends. I deal with it by keeping myself busy, sleeping, and playing animal crossing. That being said, there are many times where I feel incredibly lonely and I start to wonder what's wrong with me and what I've done wrong to deserve it. It's been at least 8 years since I've had a single, real friend. You feel like you'd get used to it but you never really do. I just try to fill up my time and act like it doesn't bother me. Video games Friday night, sleep all day Saturday. Can't care about having no social life if I'm asleep, I guess.

 

[AlanRickmanFan27]

i agree with the person below me im the same way too

 

[tybalt_cake]

Around 2011 - 2014 , when i had no friends i thought it was a big deal. I didn't wanted to be popular i just wanted a friend and i felt bad about it. However , as of today i just don't care. I don't really have much friends in the internet as of in real life i have a few more. Its just about time when you found real friends .
And even if you don't have friends , that is not something bad! You don't need friends to be someone awesome!

 

[Nightmares]

I thought I screwed up everything with my only friends this week //heavy breathing but I think it's ok now... I hope it is............ I mean I just hope we can forget about... idfk

I feel like something always happens to the friendships I have, though, whether irl or online
There's more "drama" online, but I feel that people are more accepting and easier to be friends that way... at least from personal experience. Everyone has had their friend groups for years now, but online there's way more opportunities... still I manage to **** it up hahaha

My best friend cut ties with me completely a couple years ago, and I was feeling pretty depressed about it
That was around the time I joined this forum though and made some friends while RPing ;;
The people in our group have changed round a bit, and there's been drama and ****... but to say it awkwardly, I've had the most fun with them. I can't think of anything good with my past friends, although maybe that's because it was so long ago, idk
To sound cringey again, idek if they'd call me a "friend"
...but...hopefully? Hahaha. After all this time and a few incidents, I'm just waiting for everything to fall through o.o
I don't really mind if I'm their least favourite person in the group, I just appreciate that I'm allowed in lmfaoo
I'd love to be someone's favourite, but I'm awkward and too rude sometimes...It's harder to communicate online too, I think, which doesn't help

Whoops, digression lmfao
I didn't mean to type that much utter ****

But to answer the question... I guess... trying tO HOLD onto my online friends and... trying not to care? I'm almost done with school now, so I hope I'll have opportunities to make IRL friends in college ;;
I was in town today and I thought how nice it would be to hang around with friends... instead of my mum //fml

I'm kinda lonely, but idk if it's my fault or not
There's far more horrible people than me with friends so idk br0
I'm kinda unattractive, so maybe that's my online friends exist and my IRL ones don't?? Idek the reasons
Idek if the people online would count me as a friend


Welp, as you can see from my boring ass long post, I seem to have a few years experience with this hahaha

 

[PeterCap]

With a quick development of technologies it becomes more easy to deal with having no friends. With Internet being accessible to almost anyone nowadays, you can engage with different people all over the world(via comment section or specialized sites and so on) and fill the void which was created by the lack of communication. And if you want you can even engage with beautiful woman while never living your couch via specialized sites as Flirt.com and even have a long distance relationships. So it's not that hard nowadays and I even didn't mention such obvious destractions as video games or TV

 

[candxur]

I lost all my friends when a whole bunch of **** happened just after high school and I'm not going to get into that lmao, but it's been 2 years and I still haven't made any new friends. There's only one person from school that I still talk to a lot n I'm trying not to push him away and distance myself so we see each other at least once a week if possible, but apart from that my life is pretty much unbearably lonely, so I play ac an unhealthy amount bc I can talk to the villagers and here' so no bull**** or drama, when I have the energy and focus I'll read a book, other video games (mainly old ass ines from my childhood (i even dug out the dreamcast)), I've probably watched bojack more than an unhealthy amount (I shouldn't be relating to a self destructive, alcoholic, drug addicted horse as much as I do oops). I often get upset over my lack of friends but I'm trying my hardest to come to terms with the fact that it's okay to be upset and it's okay to be alone. Most of my time isn't spent with distractions and learning to spent time with myself

 

[Corrie]

well its not people dont wanna be friends with me its just i cant connect with them which is a big turn off for me. i think everyone has someone they wanna be friends with but can never really picture themselves with that person. but if the only reason we talk is because school is hard and we're both so done, thats not really a friend is it? i hate to call them acquaintances but they are. imo a friend is someone you can connect to and understand. thats probably why i have no friends but i do give people chances and nobody has ever stuck with me which sucks since i cant say i had childhood friends. how i cope though is just blocking the thought of it with video games and excercise which makes me sad but who cares if you dont think about it right

I agree with you 100%. Getting that full connection to someone is hard. I can talk and hang with people just fine but getting that amazing connection rarely happens. It sucks a lot tbh but what can you do. You either connect with that person or you don't. You can't and shouldn't force it.

 

[PeterCap]

Hey candxur! I feel you and by the way BoJack show is great, but you shouldn't identify yourself with him for a simple reason that he had his fun in the younger days and as far as I inderstand you're only on the start of your life. And if so, you should try to grab this life by the balls and didn't settle for anything less than great, because that's what life is about. It's about getting outside of your comfort zone and explore the possibilities in this constantly changing world. And to programm yourself that it's okay to be upset is not the best mindset to tell you the truth. You should keep yourself together and try to change this attidude and step by step work in order to achieve it. Anyway, I hope you'll at least try!!!

 

[candxur]

Hey candxur! I feel you and by the way BoJack show is great, but you shouldn't identify yourself with him for a simple reason that he had his fun in the younger days and as far as I inderstand you're only on the start of your life. And if so, you should try to grab this life by the balls and didn't settle for anything less than great, because that's what life is about. It's about getting outside of your comfort zone and explore the possibilities in this constantly changing world. And to programm yourself that it's okay to be upset is not the best mindset to tell you the truth. You should keep yourself together and try to change this attidude and step by step work in order to achieve it. Anyway, I hope you'll at least try!!!

tysm! I am trying to grab life by the balls, but it's hard when you almost never have a reason to leave the house, and it's also v tough going out anywhere alone while dealing with anxiety. I don't mean it's okay to be upset but more like
it's okay to get upset sometimes (if that's makes sense?) because it's normal to and bc I have so many reasons to (the whole bunch of **** that happened

 

[mermaidshelf]

It's easy to feel like that. I think it could be an issue with insecurity. I'm sure your boyfriend likes you and people may like you more than you think but you could be self-sabotaging yourself by convincing yourself that you're unlikable.
I think there are two approaches you can take. If you want to have more friends and have people like you, you have to do some self-analysis. What are some personality traits that people may find off-putting? What are some that are annoying or unlikable? Work on changing those things. What are some personality traits people like and respond well to? Even if you don't have them, pretend you do and fake it until it becomes second nature.
Or you can just take a "don't care" attitude. It's okay that you don't have many friends. If you like who you are, then you should be confident in yourself and just accept that you may not be other people's cup of tea, and that's okay!

Maybe you can start by making internet friends. I find that people open up more on the internet and you can find nice people with similar personalities and interests. Probably some on this forum! Then maybe you can arrange a meet up, after getting closer.

Personally, I prefer having very few friends. Back home, I only had my best friends. I don't need anyone else, including certain members my family. Although, it's always nice to have people love and accept you, I like me and if others don't, that's their problem. I love being alone and having my alone time. I actually feel more lonely when I'm with others, whom I'm not close to, than when I'm by myself. The only time I'm not my true self is when I'm at work. Then I have to put on my "work persona." I know that I'm not the type of person to get along with others and other people tend not to like me but I wouldn't change my core being for anyone else. I'm more surprised when people like me than when they don't. Recently, I've made some friends unintentionally and they always ask me to hang out with them. I don't mind because I'm trying to enjoy myself and the company of others before my contract ends but it's been draining because I'm so used to being alone all the time. I have to turn people down constantly because I just don't have enough time for everyone and I have to prioritize. This has made some people angry and possibly hurt so they gossiped about me behind my back saying I was snobby and standoffish, which are claims I can't really refute because they're not too off the mark. All this drama over why I'm NOT hanging out with certain people just reminds me that it's better not to get involved with people in the first place.

 

[Aniko]

I spent most of my life alone, I rarely see people, like once every 3-5 years. I don't really mind, I have too many issues to deal with, having friends would just be too much to handle, too much stress.

Besides, it's hard to find people with whom I get along and share the same interest. All people I liked moved away.

 

[racatl]

Sometimes I miss high school, where everyone in my class at least knew my name. Being at university is much harder because I know very few people and I find it hard to make friends in my classes so I spend a majority of my day completely silent. I have a few friends that I live with, but I wish having more of a network. Unfortunately, the only reason I knew that many people in high school was from growing up with them, and that isn't really possible now. Making friends is terrifying tbh.

On top of that, I've lost contact with my friends from high school so coming home from the summer can be hard since I don't have any friend interactions. All my friends from college live other places that are way to far to go visit (upwards of 4 hours).

 

[BrinaLouWho]

I try to make friends online and i've recently been trying to find friends close to me it's just super hard since I have agoraphobia.

 

[piichinu]

ive never really had a best friend or had a solid friend group in my life but i do talk to people around me. i never go out tho, or invite people or any of the other things most friends would do. it doesnt really affect me because i have a different support system which is my faamily, and im around them a lot + i could call them my best friends as well.