How do you feel about making friends with opposing or different beliefs?

[Croconaw]

Would you be able to be friends with someone if they had different political beliefs or opposing views? By opposing views, I mean controversial topics and such, not a favorite movie or something. An example of a controversial topic would be abortion, someone who is against BLM, someone against LGBT, etcetera. Would you be friends or associate with anyone if they had opposing views on controversial topics like these?

I personally don’t care, so long as they’re not pushing their beliefs on other people. I tend not to talk about politics with close friends unless we have similar beliefs to avoid conflict. Although, I don’t see myself being able to be friends with someone who is against the LGBT community. For me, I really think it depends on what the opposing view is.

 

[Licorice]

Personally I could not be friends with someone who was homophobic or racist. In my opinion if you are either of those things I cannot see you as a decent human. I cannot be friends with someone I don’t have any respect for. Oddly enough since I’m athiest I have had a lot of christian friends. Religious beliefs don’t matter much to me as long as they don’t A) tell me they’ll pray for me. B) Use it as an excuse to be homophobic or sexist. C) Try to preach to me. Every religious friend I’ve had has been pretty chill and non judgmental.

 

[tiffanistarr]

I hate to see the divide between people but if your views, morality, or political stances show that you or that you side with racist, homophobic, or sexist rhetoric then I do not and can not vibe with you. People's choices and stances on the things listed above like BLM, LGBT, and abortion will tell me everything I need to know about a person. I have zero tolerance for any racism, sexism, or homophobia.

Even if you sit here and tell me that you're not any of those things(homophobic, racist, etc) but you support politicians/a party that does then you are complement, willfully ignorant, and part of the problem as well. As a result, I don't want to be friends with the racist or the racist enabler. The same goes for the things mentioned above.

 

[Romaki]

I could never be friends with someone who is against human rights and the fact that this is even worth a discussion because groups of people get dehumanized on a constant basis is so disgusting to me.

 

[Envy]

I can't be friends with someone who is anti-LGBT, because that means they are anti-me. These are not mere "different beliefs", they are so much more fundamental to someone at their core and calling them "different beliefs" just promotes this "both sides" nonsense we have nowadays, as opposed to recognizing these "beliefs" for what they are - vile, hateful, and cruel.

Different beliefs are "Animal Crossing New Leaf is better than Animal Crossing New Horizons" NOT matters of human rights.

 

[Chris]

I will befriend people I have drastically different views from but I won't engage them in discussion about those views. Sometimes it's a necessary evil, especially in the workplace, and I work in a very diverse environment with people from vastly different cultural upbringings. As long as we avoid discussing these issues I can focus on their more redeemable qualities.

 

[CrankyCupcake]

It depends. Which came first, the friendship or the discovery of opposing views and beliefs?

I have a friend I've known for over 30 years. We've always gotten along even though we are very different people. Different background, different temperament, different aspirations, different hobbies. In recent years, I realized that she has very different views from me when it comes to politics and other matters. When she started to rant, I listened. After failing to persuade her to see (and not embrace, but just to see and understand) the other side of the story, I told her we had to stop talking about politics. She was too set in her ways. She didn't want to agree to disagree. She was adamant that her opinions were the right ones. So I told her outright that she has to stop, we can't talk about this, she was making me very stressed when all I wanted was to share a nice meal with her, something we've been doing regularly for years. Afterwards, she apologized. She didn't want to stress me out. So I think we've reached an agreement. We still see each other regularly for meals.

Our friendship is something I value. Neither of us is a perfect being. That's okay. I don't believe that, as a friend, we must discuss everything under the sun, we must embrace everything that is in our past, personality and future plans. I know for a fact, having known her for over 30 years, that she is not a stupid or bad person. She just has very set beliefs, possibly due to her set of unique circumstances, including her exposure to certain people and events over the course of her life. Likewise, my beliefs and opinions are shaped by my experiences.

Even within my family, we don't always agree. My husband, son and I have very different religious beliefs. (That is, we don't share the same religion.) We don't always share the same political opinions either, but we can still have a decent discussion without getting angry or emotional because we tend to be very pragmatic and analytical, and we can come to a "let's agree to disagree" conclusion before things get heated.

Short story is, with people I know, it's okay if we have different opinions or attitudes towards certain issues. (Nothing extreme, of course. For instance, I'm a total animal lover. My husband and son are apprehensive about animals and would rather not have a pet at home. I can understand that. On the other hand, if they hated animals or were mean to them, I would've left them. )

On the other side of the coin, if it's someone I don't know well at all, and he says things that lead me to understand that we have very different ideas about politics, religion, etc, I'm very unlikely to want to become friends with him. In the first place, I'd think that, if I don't know you well, you shouldn't be trying to discuss politics, religion, etc with me. These are controversial topics for good reason. And, as I've said earlier, it isn't even necessary to share these opinions even if we were great friends. We don't have to talk about, and agree on, everything under the sun.

Wall of text again. Because the older I get, the longer I take to do or say anything.

 

[.: Meri :.]

This might be getting into semantics, but I don't think I would even call this differing "beliefs"—to me, differing beliefs would be something along the lines of differing religions, whether or not you believe in fate or destiny, etc., and that stuff's fine. But if we're talking about human rights, I feel like that's a matter of differing morals. (Forgive me if this comes across as overly nitpicky, I just like thinking about words a lot.) I won't be friends with someone who doesn't think that I or anybody else deserves basic human rights. I don't want to associate with people like that at all, and I don't believe a friendship like that would have a good foundation—if I don't trust someone and they think I'm a failed person, are we really "friends" even if we act nice to each other?

Spoiler: personal story - tw: homophobia/transphobia/sexism

I don't speak to my grandfather anymore because of exactly this. I'm queer, and I'm not out to my grandparents, but they seemed nice and well-meaning enough, so I thought that even if they wouldn't handle things perfectly, they'd still be mostly accepting, right? So I'd been thinking about coming out to them for some time, and was pretty much just waiting for the right moment to do so.

And then my grandfather made a passing joke about Ellen DeGeneres, calling her "Ellen Degenerate". I was kind of shocked for a moment, and I just knew that had to have come out wrong, and so I tried to gently comment on how that maybe wasn't such a good thing to say... and my grandfather started on a long, homophobic rant, calling LGBTQ+ people sinners, saying trans people were "stepping away from God" (with a good deal of misgendering), and talking about the "evils" of "womens' media" and how women were "forgetting their role".

My parents and I tried to talk to him about this, but he refused to listen to or consider anything we said. So... I don't talk to him anymore. He's simply not the person I thought he was, and knowing what he thinks about me, other LGBTQ+ people, women? I feel miserable just being around him—avoiding him is simply a matter of protecting my mental health. If he decides to change, then maybe things can work out, but he's made no indication of even wanting to do so. My hopes aren't up.

So in short, there's a couple of reasons why I don't want to be friends with people with opposing values. Part of it is moral, part of it is about protecting my mental and emotional wellbeing. Even if I tried to avoid the subject around them, I'd still know that it was there, and that in itself is enough to make me not want to be around them. It's just not something I can look past.

 

[Dwayne Johnson]

i never really take a person's beliefs into account when making friends, so whatever they choose to think doesn't effect me and as long as they can be civil about it, it doesn't bother me

 

[nightglow]

Absolutely, as long as they are respectful and understand that everyone has their own perspectives and opinions. No one likes it when beliefs are shoved down people's throats. I am also fine with talking about those kinds of topics as long as they are respectful and act like they have a brain. If they are going to wig out, those topics will be off limits because I am not going to deal with obnoxiousness and drama but I will make sure they know where I stand on whatever and they just have to deal with that reality.
They also have to treat people like human beings.

 

[cornimer]

I wouldn't befriend someone who is anti-human rights in any capacity (racist, homophobic etc.) If I had to be in contact with some like that (and I do sometimes, with family), I'd be civil, but I certainly wouldn't think of them as a friend.

For other issues, it depends if their belief hurts anyone or not. But I don't consider human rights a matter of "beliefs" or "politics."

 

[Moritz]

Honestly the only people I rule out as friends, are those who say they would rule out others as friends for their beliefs.

I have no time for such awful people who think you must conform to their ideals or you're scum.

I've met some very bigoted people who are more tolerant than those who say "if you're anti x or vote for this party you're evil"

So long as the person is respectful and doesn't try to make me prove myself to fit their boxes, I'm okay with them regardless of how our beliefs line up.

Like if someone is anti lgbt or something but aren't campaigning to do anything, then I have no issue and they are allowed to think what they like.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I don't mind being friends with different beliefs but if their beliefs support the hatred of others then I won't associate with them. I have a lot of passion for being respectful to people regardless of their race/sexuality/gender/religion/politics/etc. so people who use their beliefs to justify their hatred of others are the worst kind of people imo.

Post automatically merged: Jun 12, 2021

For other issues, it depends if their belief hurts anyone or not. But I don't consider human rights a matter of "beliefs" or "politics."

right, it baffles me to think that some people see human rights as a political issue. they're literally rights that everyone is entitled to, not to be infringed upon by anything or anyone.

 

[Moritz]

right, it baffles me to think that some people see human rights as a political issue. they're literally rights that everyone is entitled to, not to be infringed upon by anything or anyone.

Not that I personally believe anyone should be treated differently or badly for any part of them and all that, you know... but when it comes to human rights, people use that word for things that have nothing to do with human rights too often.

Not sure how you are using it, but there are so many times people use human rights, to mean what they believe is right.

And unless it is actually listed as a human right, it is political to get it included as one.
And even if it is included as one, its still political because its politics that enforce it, and its politics that can remove it as a right.

So I guess what I'm saying is, even though we live in a society where we see things like this as beyond politics, without politics, we have nothing.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Not that I personally believe anyone should be treated differently or badly for any part of them and all that, you know... but when it comes to human rights, people use that word for things that have nothing to do with human rights too often.

Not sure how you are using it, but there are so many times people use human rights, to mean what they believe is right.

And unless it is actually listed as a human right, it is political to get it included as one.
And even if it is included as one, its still political because its politics that enforce it, and its politics that can remove it as a right.

So I guess what I'm saying is, even though we live in a society where we see things like this as beyond politics, without politics, we have nothing.

political or not I still don't think people should have to beg for inalienable rights.

 

[oak]

Friends are suppose to bring you joy & happiness and I can't imagine a racist homophobic person would bring me positive energy. I can be neutral to people at work but don't talk to me unless we absolutely have to, and we certainly aren't gonna be friends.

 

[Moritz]

political or not I still don't think people should have to beg for inalienable rights.

I guess what I'm saying is, what counts as one?
Because there aren't actually all that many human rights. They basically boil down to freedom to live (unless you're from a place that has the god awful death sentence. Seriously can that just be made illegal everywhere please?), freedom to move, freedom of expression (but even that gets limited in some places by hate speech laws), the right to work, and the right to marry.
And then of course innocent until proved guilty (apart from in the court of public opinion) and a fair trial (assuming you live in a place that does those)

So yeah, a lot of the time what people say is a human right, is not one.

 

[Envy]

I guess what I'm saying is, what counts as one?
Because there aren't actually all that many human rights. They basically boil down to freedom to live (unless you're from a place that has the god awful death sentence. Seriously can that just be made illegal everywhere please?), freedom to move, freedom of expression (but even that gets limited in some places by hate speech laws), the right to work, and the right to marry.
And then of course innocent until proved guilty (apart from in the court of public opinion) and a fair trial (assuming you live in a place that does those)

So yeah, a lot of the time what people say is a human right, is not one.

And even among what you listed, anti-LGBT people oftentimes don't think that LGBT people should be guaranteed those rights. Plus, there are more rights, like right to medical service and housing rights.

 

[Moritz]

And even among what you listed, anti-LGBT people oftentimes don't think that LGBT people should be guaranteed those rights. Plus, there are more rights, like right to medical service and housing rights.

I dont think lgbt are specifically mentioned in human rights, outside of the fact they are humans.
So I think when it comes to like the right to marriage, it was more about defining marriage than anything else. And I get being defensive about marriage as to many, gay marriage is a corruption of their religion.
If there are any other human rights people think lgbt shouldn't have, then they clearly are very scummy. It's not enough to make me question if I would like them as a person though so long as they're not actively judgemental back or trying to change laws.

Although I do want to be clear, as a man who is married to a man, I'm very happy with how we can marry haha

 

[King koopa]

Hmm maybe. As long as someone isn't being hurtful to you/other people because they are against blm or lbgtq+ people, I guess we could work it out. I personally think that people shouldn't be arguing about who should get rights. As a black teen, I take pride in saying this: Everyone should be able to have rights, no matter your race, or sexual orientation. If you can't respect people who are black or lbgtq+, then you shouldn't be able to respect yourself.