How many friends do you have Irl?

[Chris]

The short answer is: a lot. I couldn't possibly count them. I'm very outgoing, form connections very easily, and if you're in my life I make a point of being there for you 100%. My most used phone app is WhatsApp, and I know all of my contacts IRL. There are 20+ people I speak casually with every single day, and if not then every couple of days. I try to see them all in person regularly too. And there are several dozen more I could phone up right now and ask, "do you want to get a drink this week?" and they're bound to say yes if they're free.

I met my closest friend in 1995. I consider her my sister.

 

[Neb]

I have 4 irl friends at the moment, but I don’t to them very often. My online friendships, hobbies, and college classes have eaten up all of my social energy. I feel bad about it because they’re all nice people.

 

[nyx~]

I have about 4 friends irl, with 3 of them I've known for 11+ years. I used to have more but just about all of them became one sided friendships where I would be the only one to reach out and invite them to things so I just gave up. That happening to me too many times caused me to just stop trying to make new friends, so the few I have left are stuck with me lol.

 

[StarlitGlitch]

Right now: Not too many. Definitely had the most friends back in college. Having a full-time job at a place without opportunities to make friends and moving puts a damper on things.

Also, my work starts and ends oddly late. Typically I don't finish work until 8 pm which means I don't have opportunities to participate in activities/meet people during the week. That makes it a lot more difficult to make friends. Typically, on weekends I hang out with my bf unless if he has other plans then I'll try to participate in things to meet new people/try to spend time with potential friends.

I tried joining a volunteer group but in the country I live in it's mostly only middle-aged and up people who participate (and there's a big divide between age groups) so I think I need to keep looking elsewhere. Since it's also culturally insular that poses issues for people making friends here and even nationals have difficulty with making real friends. If I was back in the US I'd have an easier time.

At this point, there's only 1 friend I've keep up with consistently. We've been friends for 7 years now, I just realized. He's very patient with my even when I've taken long times to text back (not sure if it's more my adhd or my anxiety but it's a real issue). Although since I moved we live far away and in opposite time zones. Sometimes I try to reconnect with old friends/they reach out to me but it always ends in them stopping replying at some point.

I have good online friends from ACC, we talk on Discord and do orgs.

Tbh this has been something I've thought a lot about recently. I find joy in being a part of a community and spending time with friends but can't seem to build solid connections. This has been affecting my daily mood and mental health greatly for the past year or so. I had a best friend for a few years but had to cut it off last year. He took up all of my time and sort manipulated me into not make other friends/keeping up with other friends/changed how I viewed reality so now I have to try to make up for lost time but it's been difficult. If anyone has any advice I'm all ears.

 

[Kitsuragi]

i have friends i knew irl then moved away, that would be 2 people.
now the only "irl friend" i have is my boyfriend.

 

[DaisyFan]

None unfortunately. I have a few people who I can talk to, but I don't consider them as friends.

 

[Shawna]

I've had plenty over my school life years (though we never hung out outside of school). Unfortunately, I have drifted away from most of my friends due to graduating (in June 2016) and moving out of that town in 2019. I have not been able to make any friends in my current town due to the pandemic.

However, there is one friend that I still chat with occasionally. She is quite younger than me (she's 14, I am 23). I actually met her in waaaay back in 2008 or 2009 when she was just a toddler because my mom babysat her for a period of time. Then in 2017 (god, I miss that year), my mom started babysitting her again and we just enjoyed each other's company. I have a lot of wonderful memories of eating fast food, ice cream, watching movies, and just doing fun things with her. :,,,,,)

She talks about when she is old enough to drive (which will be in October 2023, I believe) she will come to visit me, despite being 8 hours apart, and that I am one of her longtime closest friends. <333

We also talk about how we will eat Dairy Queen and watch Planes because we did that a lot in 2017 and 2018, and Planes is one of our favorite movies <33333

 

[Seastar]

I don't have any. All of my friends are online ones.

 

[Gene.]

Only about one rn, but it seems that since the semester is over and they no longer need someone to chat with during class, its back to zero. but having all those online friends that really care about me makes it okay :]

 

[savanniebananie]

I've always had some trouble making friends, especially in school. I would have a group of friends, then they just turn their backs on me. It made me extremely nervous to make any friends. Though, I quickly got over that fear and found my 3 best friends in 7th grade. I have one very close friend that I've known since Kindergarten. He and I are still great friends. So, overall, I have 4 friends. I consider them all my best friends.

 

[VanitasFan26]

None. They all forgot about me and some even backstabbed me. Even my so called "best friend" ghosted me. I don't want to talk about it...

 

[Violet Witch]

Just one although at the moment our relationship isn't as close as it was once was now that she has a boyfriend. I probably only hear from her once a month at best and even then our conversations don't seem to last as she has a habit of not replying back after a while. Sadly though it's not uncommon for some friends to ditch those who have been in their lives for a long time in favour of a boyfriend or girlfriend instead.

 

[TurnipBell20]

Close/best friends: 2, and „normal“ friends: around 15 maybe. I don’t count them, lol. I used to not have any friends except for family members. I am glad and grateful to have lots of friends now. To anyone on here saying they have no friends: Your time will come. There are people out there who like you the way you are, and you will find them. <3

 

[Xara]

none. i haven’t had an irl acquaintance in years, let alone a friend lmao. some of it has to do with my not having a job, doing school online and the pandemic, but i didn’t have any irl friends before 2020, either. i have really bad social (and general) anxiety, to the point that i avoid talking to or being around people as much as i can. the only people i really have to talk to or do stuff with are my negative, emotionally immature parents and that is... quite a lonely feeling lol, and definitely not great at all for my mental health. i want and wish i had an irl friend so bad so that i’d actually have someone to rely on, hang out with and talk to, but i’m always so terrified of saying or doing something stupid or being rejected that i just don’t bother putting myself out there. plus, with how bad my mental health is and how unstable i am, i don’t feel like i’m even suitable to be anyone’s friend. i’m no longer the kind of person who takes her anger or problems out on her friends, picks fights or ghosts people for weeks at a time, but i’m still a mess and i require a lot of space and socializing breaks sometimes, and i know that can be exhausting/annoying. my mental health and temper interfered with literally all of my past irl friendships, and i’m terrified of that happening again even though i am better, so i purposely stay away from people. i’m fatigued and depressed pretty much all of the time which means i can’t talk to, check in on or do stuff for my friends as much as i’d like, so i don’t feel like i’m much of a friend at all anyways lol. it sucks because while i do enjoy my space and personal time, i’ve learned that being so isolated from people all the time is extremely detrimental to my well being, and the worst part is is that i’m actually becoming used to it. i’m becoming used to not having to leave my house for school or anything, to not taking care of myself as much as i should be, etc, and it’s scary. i don’t want my only socialization to be with my parents. i don’t mind spending time with them, i just wish they weren’t the only people i have to spend time with. i wish i had a friend to do stuff with for once instead of it always being my mom. i‘m hoping that starting therapy (and maybe going on some new meds) will help me with this a bit, because i don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. i want and need a social life desperately.

my social skills are somewhat better online, though. i’m still awkward and bad at reaching out to people first because i never want to annoy or bother them, but i’m definitely more bold. i have quite a few online friends and acquaintances as a result, and while i don’t talk to them as much as i would like to due to the depression and fatigue, they all mean a lot to me. <33 definitely wish i knew them irl though so that we could hang out lol.

 

[Midoriya]

- snip -

If we knew each other in real life I'd love to hangout as friends with you.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

It's... Complicated. I have one person that I consider a true friend, and I get along with some of that person's other friends. But I'm not sure if they consider me as their friend, and I don't wanna ask either so I just refer to them as my acquaintances.

 

[Alyx]

I don't have any friends that come from my town, but I have plenty of online friends that I've met in person, and some I haven't met yet, but they're all my friends, regardless of where I've met them. It's around 5-7 people.

 

[CrazyMario64]

I don’t even know I have a lot and most of them I haven’t seen in forever.

 

[nightglow]

I guess, 5?

One friend which I had since third grade doesn't really talk much anymore. I think it may be due to, stuff but not really sure. They were a best friend for a long time. I had another but is very busy and occupied with personal problems that I usually never hear from them except once every 3-5years if that. So, I'm not really sure I would count them as friends anymore??

However, there are some people at church who do come over and eat with us, so I guess I can say they are friends. They come over and visit more than family members do lol. And they are nice and not mean or judgy.

 

[slzzpz]

IRL friends? None ever since I moved. I still keep in touch with all my friends from back home via discord but obviously not being able to actually hang out with them isn't the same. Of course playing games and chatting all day is great but IRL interaction is something I do miss.