It's my first time dealing with rejection and it's kind of solidified the idea in my mind that im not going to find anyone. He told me he didnt like me in the nicest way possible so its not his fault but i kind of just am afraid every time it will turn out the same way and no ones going to ever actually like me. It sounds stupid I know but i really do feel this way sometimes.
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im ok now :>
- Thread starter pulper
- Start date
It’s very common to feel this way especially since this is your first time dealing with rejection. I’ve dealt with rejection in the past. As hard as it is to believe, you will find someone. You have to learn to love yourself before someone else can love you, and I mean for real. You have to learn to be happy and not depend on someone else for that happiness. The right person will come when you least expect it, but it’s not going to come if you have a void. You’d just be looking for someone to give you something you don’t have, to basically fill that void.
It’s good to lose that mindset that it’ll turn out the same way every time. I know it’s hard to not feel that way. I felt that way for a long time and ended up getting into relationships that should have never happened. It wasn’t until later I decided to learn to be happy by myself and be my own source of happiness. I know you’ll find someone.
It’s good to lose that mindset that it’ll turn out the same way every time. I know it’s hard to not feel that way. I felt that way for a long time and ended up getting into relationships that should have never happened. It wasn’t until later I decided to learn to be happy by myself and be my own source of happiness. I know you’ll find someone.
you shouldnt center your existence on finding someone imo
u should just like... exist... as unhelpful as it seems... i think it's the correct way to live
also it's statistically unlikely that u will be alone 4ever
u should just like... exist... as unhelpful as it seems... i think it's the correct way to live
also it's statistically unlikely that u will be alone 4ever
Beanz
Sophisticated Hi-C drinker
yeah i feel that way too but in another way, not in a dating aspect. i know absolutely nothing about relationships, so i can't really give you useful advice but remember you shouldn't ever need someone else for happiness. i mean, i'm sure you'll find someone one day but what's the big issue if you don't?
TillyGoesMeow
sleepy bunny
Hey,
Not to pry, but you seem kinda young. The world seems really really small when you're younger, but I promise you that you will find people you clique more with as you gain experiences. It is okay to grieve especially if this is your first time with rejection. Those sort of feelings are super tough to get through, but you seem like a lovely person! I really would just focus on yourself and have a good time. You really do not need another person to """"complete""" you or anything else.
P.s. if you are younger than 18 I didn't really date-date until I was like 19 lol
Not to pry, but you seem kinda young. The world seems really really small when you're younger, but I promise you that you will find people you clique more with as you gain experiences. It is okay to grieve especially if this is your first time with rejection. Those sort of feelings are super tough to get through, but you seem like a lovely person! I really would just focus on yourself and have a good time. You really do not need another person to """"complete""" you or anything else.
P.s. if you are younger than 18 I didn't really date-date until I was like 19 lol
i know i dont need someone it would just be really nice to have someone ya know, but thanks for the encouragement :>
TillyGoesMeow
sleepy bunny
Of course!! I completely understand how you feel. High school is just such a small world compared to the big picture. You’ll meet so many great people in your life, so I just don’t want that to be something that worried you. I know it’s hard, but just try to focus on having fun in high school & enjoying it.
thanks :> hes just very affectionate (puts my head on his shoulder and puts his arm around me and holds my hand for no reason), so its hard to kinda stop liking him in that way when he does that, but oh well, ill be ok :>
Foreverfox
✨🩵Spook-tacular🩵✨
Someone who doesn't like you that way shouldn't be doing those things. That's very misleading.
b100ming
Training to become a pro Isabelle in smash
If he just wants to be friends, that’s ok. People don’t last forever so spend as much time with them as you can. Friendship isn’t romantic, but it’s still love, all the same.
idk i mean i dont hate him for it or anything
i think it might be a good idea to set some boundaries with him if these actions are making it hard for you to move on. you said he went through all your postings so he knows just how much you have feelings for him. some people enjoy "keeping people on the hook" where they flirt to get positive attention and feel good about themselves when the other person likes them but have no intention of progressing to a relationship. not saying that is for sure what he is doing but i dont think that its fair to you and isnt really being a good friend (in my opinion). if thats something youre okay with then its your choice, but it sounds like this is causing you a lot of pain. going to repeat what a few other people have said about focusing on and taking care of yourself for a while
i know, im glad we're still friends
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i just dont want to hurt his feelings or anything
I agree with this. If he isn't interested in you, then he shouldn't be engaging in overly affectionate behaviour. You're not going to be able to get over him if he is behaving this way. In the short-term it might seem sweet and make you feel good, but when you're older you'll look back on this behaviour and realise that is actually very unfair of him to do this to you. He's essentially dangling a treat in front of a dog and never handing it over. If you don't put a stop to this behaviour now there's a good chance you'll end up resenting him for leading you on like this later.
As for your main point, if you're still of school age then put this worry to the back of your mind. Chances are you won't even meet the person you're destined to be with until you're older. I started dating when I was 14, over the years I've had a few long-term partners and countless short-term flings, and I only met the girl I intend to someday propose to this year. I'm 29.
You've all the time in the world to find your Prince Charming and you're much too young to be worrying about never finding him! Focus on your studies, spend time on your hobbies and interests, and say yes to hanging out with friends and any opportunities that arise for meeting new people. You'll meet the one someday.
thank you, ive been trying to focus on other things because i realize its not as important as it seems sometimes
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i have now asked him to stop doing the things he does so ill see how it goes
I think you need to be honest with yourself about wether or not you can set clear boundaries with someone because I think this is a very important thing that many people overlook. Not saying that you are necessarily like this, but when you said you didn’t want to hurt his feelings it sent out a red flag to me. Boundaries are very important in all relationships. If you can’t set proper boundaries and get your needs met, you could end up prey to someone who takes advantage of someone like that and believe me that’s not a person you want in your life. If you explain to them your needs and why in the best way possible way someone should respect that and not get angry, passive aggressive, ignored, or guilt tripped. If they do any of those things to you then that’s not a person worthy of your time. Relationships should not define you, you should be happy as yourself a relationship only adds to the happiness that’s already there.
He shouldn’t be doing those things if he’s not interested. I know this has already been said, but I’ve experienced this firsthand. A few years ago, I was flirting back and forth with this girl but she had no intentions of moving forward. She even made an excuse to touch me on several occasions by fixing my uniform, touching my sleeve because she was curious about the fabric, etcetera. It was obvious flirting with her words and actions, but because she had no intention to progress things, it really tainted my view on relationships. Now I’m unsure what to think when a girl starts flirting with me. I’ve gotten over the whole situation with the last girl, but things like this can impact you in the future, especially since you’re still young.
b100ming
Training to become a pro Isabelle in smash
Guys people can hold hands and still have a platonic relationship. My friend holds hands with her friend, and the teacher asked her “Is that your boyfriend?” And she said “No! It’s platonic!” It’s ok to hold hands with people even if you aren’t in a romantic relationship. The other things though, are not great if you’re trying to maintain a platonic relationship.
I do agree with what you’re saying I think it’s fine when both people are comfortable in the roles of the friendship. However, when one of them is trying to get over their feelings, it can still be confusing. It’s quite possible that’s all part of his personality and he keeps acting how it’s natural for him to be, yet doesn’t realize how it effects the other person.
It’s definitely okay to hold hands with friends, but I don’t think it’s common? Normally it’s just flirting. If there are two friends holding hands and at least one of them is in a relationship, I think they should consider how that would make their partner feel. It can cause jealousy most times and yeah there can be arguments made that that’s on them and not you… some people just have a really flirty personality. One of my friends from about two years ago actually told me she just has a really flirty personality and is very “physical” with her friends. I’m pretty sure she’s single, but she says “I love you” to her kid’s dad who she’s broken up with. I’m not like that, like I’ll save the romance for my SO.
