Joke's on You! (Heard any good ones? )

[MarzipanDragyn]

I am a devoted fan of jokes, especially "punny" ones. As a way to share some laughs with everyone, here's a thread for us to post some of the best ones we've heard, as well as some of our favorites. I hope to share my love of jokes with you all!


What kinda dog can't bark?
-A "hush"-puppy.

 

[Blood Eclipse]

puns..my mortal enemy..

I'm no good at telling pun jokes, but here's one I thought was pretty good

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

I love it!!! XD

 

[LottieandSoul]

Two cats are swimming down a river... One is named one two three, the other is named un deux trois. Which one made it to the end?

One two three, because un deux trois quatre cinq!

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

That one's great! XD

- - - Post Merge - - -

What did one nut say whilst chasing another nut?
- "I'ma cashew!"

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

How do witches fight allergies?
- With Forget-Me-Snot.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

Why are pine trees bad at knitting?
- They're always dropping their needles.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

Which vegetable is the best listener?
- Corn; they're all ears.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

What's another name for toasters?
- Tanning Breads.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

What do you call a necromancer who only revives plants?
- A necroplanter.

 

[Bcat]

any of y'all ever heard of Joe?

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

Why is justice best served cold?
- If it were warm, it'd be "justwater".

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

What do you call a fly with no wings?
- A walk.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

Here's a spooky-themed one XD

Why do vampires have no friends?
- They're a real pain in the neck.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

What should you do if you're cold?
- Go stand in a corner; it's 90?.

 

[Bcat]

any of y'all ever heard of Joe?

somebody respond to this dammit

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

somebody respond to this dammit

Do not recite the ancient magic to me, spirit; I was there when it was written XD

 

[Dim]

What should you do if you're cold?
- Go stand in a corner; it's 90?.

Okay this one was pretty funny LOL

- - - Post Merge - - -

Why did the elephant get banned from the beach?
-Because he had no trunks

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

This one's a gem I'll keep XD

 

[Blood Eclipse]

thanks for keeping this thread alive