Joke's on You! (Heard any good ones? )

[MarzipanDragyn]

Nice one! XD

 

[Tessie]

I saw this joke on Reddit and it always gives me a small chuckle lol

A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while. Eventually he returns home and he is now a Christian. The man finds this to be odd and mentions it to his friend.

The friend listens, thinks for a moment and says, "That's odd. I sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian." So the two of them went to see the Rabbi.

They told the Rabbi the story of how they had both sent their sons to Israel as Jews, and how both sons had returned as Christians. The Rabbi listened, thought for a minute and then said "That's odd. I also sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian."

So the three of them decide to go to Israel to find out what's going on over there. The arrive and go straight to the Western Wall to pray.

They explain to God all about how they sent their sons to Israel as Jews and how the all returned as Christians." There is a long silence, and then God begins to speak saying, "That's odd . . . "

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

It took me a minute, but I eventually got it XD
Clever!

- - - Post Merge - - -

Here's a "candy-corny" one, since Halloween is getting closer and closer:

How do you fix a busted pumpkin?
- With a pumpkin patch.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
- Because every play has a cast.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

Why should you always tip your exorcist?
- You might get repossessed.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

What do you get when you wear a watch as a belt?
- A waist of time.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

Why should everyone learn sign language?
- It's really handy!

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

What do you get if you drop a pumpkin?
- Squash.

 

[Dim]

What did Earth say to the other planets?
- "You guys have no life."

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

What did Earth say to the other planets?
- "You guys have no life."

Since Earth is the third planet from the sun, does that mean all of its problems are third-world problems? XD

 

[Dim]

Since Earth is the third planet from the sun, does that mean all of its problems are third-world problems? XD

haha, nice one

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

Why did the ghost join a sports team?
- He thought they could use a little team spirit.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

The forecast in my area is calling for snow tomorrow to Sunday, so here's this:

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snowman?
- Frostbite.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

Sorry for the wait! As an apology, here's two!

Which runs faster, hot or cold?
- Hot; anyone can catch a cold.


When does it rain money?
- Whenever there's change in the weather.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

Why can't the police catch wool?
- It's on the lamb.

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

Did you hear about the girl who lost her voice?
- She doesn't really like talking about it...

 

[John Wick]

My dad told me this many years ago.
It's as close as I can remember it.

________

This man, Bob, runs in to an old school friend, Bill, in the street.
They get to talking about the good old days, and Bill eventually invites Bob and his wife over to his house for dinner.

They arrive at Bills, which is a mansion, he's obviously done well for himself.

They introduce the wives to each other and all sit down to dinner.

Admiring the lovely home, and expensive furniture, Bob notices a photo in a frame on the wall of a handsome man in his late 20's, and can see he resembles Bill.

"This must be your son! He's a fine looking lad. You must be proud of him!."

Bill smiles and says "That's our eldest boy. He's the CEO of a billion dollar corporation!"

"Oh my!" Bob says as he spots another framed picture of a young man that looks like Bills wife. "Another son! You must be proud!"

"Indeed." says Bill. "He owns a chain of supermarkets. He's a multi millionaire!"

"Wonderful!" Bob says, as he looks around the room for other photographs, but doesn't see any. "Do you have anymore children Bill?" he asks.

"Yes." Bill exclaims. "Our youngest boy. He's at the University!"

"Oh my" Bob says. "You must be SO proud! What's he studying?"

Bill sighs. "He's not studying anything. They're studying him. He's got TWO HEADS!"

________


Ok. Dad has a bizarre sense of humor, but I love that joke. ^_^

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

That's quite an abrupt difference! At the very least, all three will make names for themselves!

- - - Post Merge - - -

How do i feel about corny jokes?
- I think they're a-maize-ing!

 

[John Wick]

That's quite an abrupt difference! At the very least, all three will make names for themselves!

- - - Post Merge - - -

How do i feel about corny jokes?
- I think they're a-maize-ing!

That's why it cracks me up. ^_^

 

[MarzipanDragyn]

What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?
- A "Roamin' Catholic."