LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[Ashtot]

if i see one more person saying the queer community i will die

when i was a young buck

queer meant strange

like in the hardy boys

"they had a queer feeling that they were being watched"

 

[radical6]

ash's post doesnt show up for whatever reason
but yeah queer hasnt always meant gay or not straight. i dont know where people got that from. im pretty sure its been used as a slur in the south (never hear it used that much here but i do hear people saying thats so queer instead of thats so gay) so it makes absolutely no sense to me why people call us the queer community. or more dumb **** like queerplatonic. whatever the **** that means.

 

[Fhyn_K]

Seriously just do away with labels because it's getting out of hand and it really isn't anyone's business what anyone does in their private life.

I never did like the queer word and yeah, it's used in the south in a derogatory fashion. Not really that common though at least when I grew up there. I always thought that queer was a terrible catch-all term because everyone under the blanket represent different things and that's me generalizing things.

 

[radical6]

the thing is that people on tumblr especially are coming up with terms like queerplatonic. idgaf what it means but something about...Queer..Friendships. people are trying to change the meaning of the word. there is no way to be queer friends...that makes no sense whatsoever. it allows cishet people a chance to use this slur too. i hate stuff like queerplatonic it makes no sense no one is oppressed for wanting friends. i saw stupid **** like panplatonic meaning wanting a platonic relationship with anyone so im like..ok you want FRIENDS? i wish people stopped coming up with ****. like fine the idea of qp, whatever. but dont use the word queer for it

 

[Moddie]

[Post Removed. Sorry.]

 

[noctos]

(Sorry for unrelated to above posts)

Since this thread is back, I want to ask... any other asexuals out there on the forums? I know there are at least two of us on TBT, one being me.

*waves* Yes hello there are more!!! (I see that you're not on the forum anymore, but I wanted to quote you anyway ;; )

I've identified as asexual for almost three years now. I'm 21 and it took me a lot of time to figure it out. I'm not entirely comfortable with it yet, most likely because of several failed relationships, but I'll be okay someday. I'm also bi! I came out to my mom half a year ago and although she didn't get it at first, she accepts it now. Every time she's talking about me finding a guy in the future she'll pause for a second and then add "or girl" for good measure. I think it's brought us closer?

I think what I struggle most with is coming to terms with the fact that........ this is a real thing....... That's happening to me... Seeing how important sex is to most people is what gets to me these days. I can't help but feel that I'll always be alone.

 

[Ashtot]

why would you refer to everyone in the lgbt+ community as queer

it just blankets everyone in a word that means odd which is kind of counterproductive I think

if they're normal why would you blanket the community as abnormal?

 

[Moddie]

[Post Removed. Sorry.]

 

[Clara Oswald]

I personally use the term queer to describe the community as a whole, as the only alternative is the acronym. Which is normally either too short and thus doesn't include everyone 'LGBT' or too long that it becomes confusing and too hard to say 'LGBTQQIP2SAA'. The term queer works as an umbrella term which covers all those who aren't cisgender and hetrosexual. I fully understand your issue with the word, it was a slur and is still used as such in some places. That being said, I don't see an issue in queer people reclaiming it.


Queerplatonic is the term for a relationship that is not romantic but involves a close emotional connection beyond what most people consider friendship. (People in these relationship call themselves zucchinis.) These relationships are the same as any other relationships, just without the romance. (A small minority seem to use the term for general friendship but this is an extremely small minority.) The use of the term, queerplatonic, isn't very common at all, and only seems to be most used among people who are aromantic.

I am not aromantic but I have double checked this information and it seems to be correct. Hopefully someone who is aromantic and/or in a queerplatonic relationship will come along and add more if needed, or at least someone who has more knowledge on the subject.

As an Aro person. yeah this is correct. Queer-platonic relationships mean a lot to a few of my aro friends because in a world where romance is so hyped it's the only way they can feel vaguely normal and not broken. So yeah it means a lot to them, I've been in a qpr before and they are pretty great. I would say the word is a lot more important to the aro community however anyone can use it.

- - - Post Merge - - -

the thing is that people on tumblr especially are coming up with terms like queerplatonic. idgaf what it means but something about...Queer..Friendships. people are trying to change the meaning of the word. there is no way to be queer friends...that makes no sense whatsoever. it allows cishet people a chance to use this slur too. i hate stuff like queerplatonic it makes no sense no one is oppressed for wanting friends. i saw stupid **** like panplatonic meaning wanting a platonic relationship with anyone so im like..ok you want FRIENDS? i wish people stopped coming up with ****. like fine the idea of qp, whatever. but dont use the word queer for it

I think it really depends on your view and definition of queer. It's not a slur to everyone and I know some people that identify as it. I think it's not a word to take lightly and you should always check with the individual on how they feel about it. I this case however it uses the word queer to refer to a relationship that's kind of inbetween a romantic and platonic. I think it's taking using queer as a word for different, not bad but different. Also you don't have to be a member of lgbt+ to be in one and it's not really implying oppression in my opinion as the word queer isn't being used in that way. But yeah, I agree pan platonic is going a bit far.

 

[EpicGamer12]

the thing is that people on tumblr especially are coming up with terms like queerplatonic. idgaf what it means but something about...Queer..Friendships. people are trying to change the meaning of the word. there is no way to be queer friends...that makes no sense whatsoever. it allows cishet people a chance to use this slur too. i hate stuff like queerplatonic it makes no sense no one is oppressed for wanting friends. i saw stupid **** like panplatonic meaning wanting a platonic relationship with anyone so im like..ok you want FRIENDS? i wish people stopped coming up with ****. like fine the idea of qp, whatever. but dont use the word queer for it

do you see why i can't take anything that comes off of tumblr as serious now

 

[Ashtot]

Because I'd rather be included and not just a '+'. I don't like the idea of me and other queer people being grouped together as an afterthought which normally gets left out altogether. Besides, words have multiple meanings and very few people use the word queer to mean odd. It's obvious when someone uses the word queer to refer to the community they don't mean odd, especially if that person is queer themself. Like I said before: queer is a more inclusive term than the acronym LGBT, and variations of. The acronym is normally either too short which means that it leaves people out, or too long that it becomes confusing and hard to remember. Not to mention the community have been trying to reclaim the term queer since the late 80's, most people have adjusted to it.

[Note: I understand some people still don't like the term. I will not refer to any individual as queer if it makes that person uncomfortable.]

id rather be a person and not a letter or blanket term tbh

 

[Bowie]

id rather be a person and not a letter or blanket term tbh

I couldn't agree more. It doesn't personally bother me, though. I like men and that's all there is to it. I could be gay, queer, tranny, sinful, whatever. It really doesn't bother me.

 

[Moddie]

[Post Removed. Sorry.]

 

[doggaroo]

(Sorry for unrelated to above posts)



*waves* Yes hello there are more!!! (I see that you're not on the forum anymore, but I wanted to quote you anyway ;; )

I've identified as asexual for almost three years now. I'm 21 and it took me a lot of time to figure it out. I'm not entirely comfortable with it yet, most likely because of several failed relationships, but I'll be okay someday. I'm also bi! I came out to my mom half a year ago and although she didn't get it at first, she accepts it now. Every time she's talking about me finding a guy in the future she'll pause for a second and then add "or girl" for good measure. I think it's brought us closer?

I think what I struggle most with is coming to terms with the fact that........ this is a real thing....... That's happening to me... Seeing how important sex is to most people is what gets to me these days. I can't help but feel that I'll always be alone.

Hi hi! I'm ace, too! It's very frustrating how much emphasis is put on sex, especially when you want nothing to do with it :c My boyfriend is not ace, and I found out I was ace AFTER getting together with him, and he loves sex, so it can be difficult :L

 

[Ashtot]

Good for you. But I, as do many fellow queers, find support in the sense of belonging that comes with the term. It reminds us that we not alone. Before I knew I was queer; I thought I was broken. And thus that I needed to be fixed. Being able to identify as queer, gave me the knowledge, and support need to see that I was not broken, and that nothing was wrong. Not to mention it's handy to have a catch all term so I don't have to list every group when I am talking about things that effect all queer people.

the only catch all term you need is human

friends should be who remind you that you're not alone

identifying as something shouldn't be the thing telling people that they're normal

 

[Moddie]

call me a queer and I'll kill you. you have NO ****ing right to call ALL of us a slur. I don't give a **** you don't consider it a slur. it absolutely baffles me you people think CISHET ACES are APART OF THE WORD "QUEER" Y but don't understand that QUEER IS A ****JNG SLUR

I didn't personally call you queer. It's not that I don't consider it a slur, I am fully aware of the past meanings of the word and that it is still rarely used as a slur. Like I said: we as a community have been trying to reclaim the word queer since the 80's, and the only alternative I am aware of is either not inclusive enough or confusing.

And I have no idea why you've brought up cisgendered asexuals but they certainly are queer. Anyone who is not cisgendered and hetrosexual is queer. Thus all asexuals are queer, regardless of their gender as they are not hetrosexual. Cisgendered asexuals generally experience hatred and intolerance different from the rest of the community but they are still affected and need the support.

- - - Post Merge - - -

the only catch all term you need is human

Right. So when I'm talking about things that ONLY affect queer people I should just refer to them using the word human instead despite the fact that'll be very confusing and incorrect. When I'm talking about queer youth being kicked out of their homes because of their gender and/or sexuality I should ignore the actual reason? Because hetrosexual cisgender people get kicked out all the time for their gender/sexuality right? Same for when I'm talking about the rise in hate crime against queer individuals, the discrimination against queer people, the fact in some places it's still legal to fire someone for being queer and refuse them business. The next time someone hits me because I'm queer I should just assume it's because I'm human? Okay. (I could go on, but my point should be clear by this point.)

friends should be who remind you that you're not alone

identifying as something shouldn't be the thing telling people that they're normal

Yeah, it shouldn't be. But when all of society tells you you're wrong. That you're going to burn in hell because of who you are, and who you love. That you need to be saved. And from a young age even your own parents tell you that you deserve to die because of it. It's kinda hard to believe you're normal especially when you don't know what you are, and thus that there are more people like you.

 

[Ashtot]

Right. So when I'm talking about things that ONLY affect queer people I should just refer to them using the word human instead despite the fact that'll be very confusing and incorrect. When I'm talking about queer youth being kicked out of their homes because of their gender and/or sexuality I should ignore the actual reason? Because hetrosexual cisgender people get kicked out all the time for their gender/sexuality right? Same for when I'm talking about the rise in hate crime against queer individuals, the discrimination against queer people, the fact in some places it's still legal to fire someone for being queer and refuse them business. The next time someone hits me because I'm queer I should just assume it's because I'm human? Okay. (I could go on, but my point should be clear by this point.)

but see the reason they suffer isn't because they're different, it is because the people around them are ignorant.

the way you're talking makes it sound like they're the root of the problem when it reality it's the people around them.

Yeah, it shouldn't be. But when all of society tells you you're wrong. That you're going to burn in hell because of who you are, and who you love. That you need to be saved. And from a young age even your own parents tell you that you deserve to die because of it. It's kinda hard to believe you're normal especially when you don't know what you are, and thus that there are more people like you.

it definitely would be hard to believe that you're normal, that's a problem with society

also i'm not trying to grind ur gears or anything, i'm just discussing, so sorry if i offend you or anything it's not my intention

 

[Moddie]

[Post Removed. Sorry.]

 

[randomkay]

I, personally am S, but we have had a few L encounters with friends (completely sober),
My opinion is, everyone is an individual, and we are all unique, that is how we were made. I am lucky to grow up in a household where my entire family feels that way, and 2 of my closest friends are L and G. Everyone should be entitled to be who they are, and not be worried about someone judging them for their life
I wish the rest of the world saw it that way.

 

[Geoni]

What do you guys think of this video (aside from that atrocious editing)? This is an hour away from me. Baffled tbh. Props to this person for staying fierce despite blood running down the legs.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also I'm sure I'm going to get backfire for this, but at the 'acephobia' thing people are talking about, there was a time period in high school for about two years when people assumed (from my views on my sexuality at the time) that I was asexual, and after a certain point I sort of identified with. And the only criticism I ever faced on and offline was the whole 'you don't believe in love that's so sad', and the 'but I want grandchildren' from parents. And most people just viewed me like I was a either a monk or a robot which, sorry to disenfranchise your troubles, is nothing compared to the kind of stuff that's going on in the video above. Be thankful and stop complaining for the sake of complaining, because that's what the whole 'acephobia' thing comes off as. Acephobia deserves to get less attention than things like transphobia. We need to realize priorities as a community. Nobody is going to understand every little term in the lgbtq realm and the facets of those terms and identities, but it'd be a little more important if nobody wanted to kill anybody for being in that realm.