LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[Alienfish]

But if you're a girl who believes you are a boy
And believes you're body is a boy going through what you think mentally then it's a problem

I never said anyone was faking being trans but ok

Well those often relate to mental issues and thought you might have so I don't see it a problem there... like of course you have to go through psychiatrists and surgery to eventually change your looks completely. Also not everyone is ready to do those things at once and these things require some time and thought.

Sure sounded like it. Also I highly doubt people will fake their body like that unless it's some creepy phobic person that like catfishing.

 

[Sugilite]

Well those often relate to mental issues and thought you might have so I don't see it a problem there... like of course you have to go through psychiatrists and surgery to eventually change your looks completely. Also not everyone is ready to do those things at once and these things require some time and thought.

Sure sounded like it. Also I highly doubt people will fake their body like that unless it's some creepy phobic person that like catfishing.

I see your point cause lots of people are afraid of surgery and mentally preparing for it
But it's a difference where a lot of people don't simply just say that then vs just going with it
Which confuses a lot of people
I see this on tumblr a lot

 

[boujee]

A lot of people tend to define their characteristics or personality to gender

 

[Alienfish]

I see your point cause lots of people are afraid of surgery and mentally preparing for it
But it's a difference where a lot of people don't simply just say that then vs just going with it
Which confuses a lot of people
I see this on tumblr a lot

Well tumblr is tumblr and that place is full of bs and those kinda people faking literally everything and have no knowledge/being elitist in general and calling people names and things they don't are.

And saying it.. well unless you actually feel strongly this way I wouldn't go to that site trumpeting your inner feelings at random.

 

[Sugilite]

Well tumblr is tumblr and that place is full of bs and those kinda people faking literally everything and have no knowledge/being elitist in general and calling people names and things they don't are.

And saying it.. well unless you actually feel strongly this way I wouldn't go to that site trumpeting your inner feelings at random.

It's not hurting my inner feelings, I'm just trying to understand how and what.
When I do try to understand I get called "cis scum"

- - - Post Merge - - -

A lot of people tend to define their characteristics or personality to gender

Pm

 

[Alienfish]

Well if you go on tumblr to those communities or pages that is bound to happen. They literally do that to everyone not to their standards. Tbh you'd get better advice here or from some genuine sites.

And yeah in response to Gamzees posts, yes they do.

 

[Kaioin]

Some girl on her prefers male pronouns, their not trans acting but they believe their body is male

I've been yelled at IRL because of stuff like this. It's not nice.
They were a friend of a friend and was born female by sex, dressed like most females do, wore make up like many do, etc., etc., so I referred to him as "her." He didn't like that.

I'm perfectly fine with calling people by their preferred pronouns but...come on. Cut me some slack.
I don't think when it's spoken about on the internet people put very much thought into this. It's easy on the internet to know how someone prefers to be addressed because it's just a thing that can be listed on a profile.
Real life isn't like that.

I can't just be expected to know that stuff about you before talking to you for the first time and if you appear to be conforming to normal feminine traits...of course I'm going to think you're female by gender at first impression.

Sorry, but that's just the majority of people...can you imagine how offended the average person would be if I just called them "they" (which is considered rude in many places when you're physically with them...) or how bewildered they'd be if I referred to them by some made up pronoun like zer? They'd think I was bat**** crazy, to be frank.

All I'd have needed for that meeting to be smoother was for him to mention it when we first met or to say, "actually, I identify as male." There was no need to get angry with me...at all. Unfortunately, the mindset generally tends to be "get mad about it," which is a shame.

On a positive note, we're actually on good terms these days!

 

[visibleghost]

I've been yelled at IRL because of stuff like this. It's not nice.
They were a friend of a friend and was born female by sex, dressed like most females do, wore make up like many do, etc., etc., so I referred to him as "her." He didn't like that.

I'm perfectly fine with calling people by their preferred pronouns but...come on. Cut me some slack.
I don't think when it's spoken about on the internet people put very much thought into this. It's easy on the internet to know how someone prefers to be addressed because it's just a thing that can be listed on a profile.
Real life isn't like that.

I can't just be expected to know that stuff about you before talking to you for the first time and if you appear to be conforming to normal feminine traits...of course I'm going to think you're female by gender at first impression.

Sorry, but that's just the majority of people...can you imagine how offended the average person would be if I just called them "they" (which is considered rude in many places when you're physically with them...) or how bewildered they'd be if I referred to them by some made up pronoun like zer? They'd think I was bat**** crazy, to be frank.

All I'd have needed for that meeting to be smoother was for him to mention it when we first met or to say, "actually, I identify as male." There was no need to get angry with me...at all. Unfortunately, the mindset generally tends to be "get mad about it," which is a shame.

On a positive note, we're actually on good terms these days!

it's unfortunate that that happened, but i don't think you should be upset or anything because you got it wrong and he didn't like that. getting misgendered sucks so of course he wouldn't really be happy when you did that! of course you didn't know that he used those pronouns, so I hope he could forgive you pretty easily ;;

that's kind of why it's good to ask about pronouns, so you don't accidentally assume wrong ^^ (ik that no one really does that but ye... most of the time when I meet new people I don't ask about pronouns, mostly because some people get really upset if you can't see what pronouns they use based on their body... uegh)

 

[Sugilite]

I've been yelled at IRL because of stuff like this. It's not nice.
They were a friend of a friend and was born female by sex, dressed like most females do, wore make up like many do, etc., etc., so I referred to him as "her." He didn't like that.

I'm perfectly fine with calling people by their preferred pronouns but...come on. Cut me some slack.
I don't think when it's spoken about on the internet people put very much thought into this. It's easy on the internet to know how someone prefers to be addressed because it's just a thing that can be listed on a profile.
Real life isn't like that.

I can't just be expected to know that stuff about you before talking to you for the first time and if you appear to be conforming to normal feminine traits...of course I'm going to think you're female by gender at first impression.

Sorry, but that's just the majority of people...can you imagine how offended the average person would be if I just called them "they" (which is considered rude in many places when you're physically with them...) or how bewildered they'd be if I referred to them by some made up pronoun like zer? They'd think I was bat**** crazy, to be frank.

All I'd have needed for that meeting to be smoother was for him to mention it when we first met or to say, "actually, I identify as male." There was no need to get angry with me...at all. Unfortunately, the mindset generally tends to be "get mad about it," which is a shame.

On a positive note, we're actually on good terms these days!

Pm my point
Gender and identity is too messy for me rn

 

[Kaioin]

it's unfortunate that that happened, but i don't think you should be upset or anything because you got it wrong and he didn't like that. getting misgendered sucks so of course he wouldn't really be happy when you did that! of course you didn't know that he used those pronouns, so I hope he could forgive you pretty easily ;;

that's kind of why it's good to ask about pronouns, so you don't accidentally assume wrong ^^ (ik that no one really does that but ye... most of the time when I meet new people I don't ask about pronouns, mostly because some people get really upset if you can't see what pronouns they use based on their body... uegh)

Yeah like I say we're both on good terms these days, I know plenty of people who have different preferences, people that have transitioned and people who are transitioning. They're all amazing people! I'm quite lucky to have such a diverse group of friends, I think!

(and yeah that last point is generally why I don't, but I am usually good with that stuff, it's just when it's very hard to tell I fall flat on my face).

 

[boujee]

Your friend sounds likes he's more in a social reality than biological reality.
Social reality isn't the same as biological reality. You can only 100% confirm someone's biological sex with a blood test(x and Y chromosomes).
Socially speaking, if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck.

 

[Alienfish]

Your friend sounds likes he's more in a social reality than biological reality.
Social reality isn't the same as biological reality. You can only 100% confirm someone's biological sex with a blood test(x and Y chromosomes).
Socially speaking, if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck.

Well some people doesn't like their biological gender and that should be respected imo even if they are not fully either(surgery, hormones etc).. taking i get your post right.

sure it might a "duck" in general but it can always be a subspecies to what we call species in the animal world. as for human if they prefer to be the one or other we should respect that assuming they are real about it regardless how far in the process they are.

 

[boujee]

No you're not taking my post right

 

[Sugilite]

Well some people doesn't like their biological gender and that should be respected imo even if they are not fully either(surgery, hormones etc).. taking i get your post right.

sure it might a "duck" in general but it can always be a subspecies to what we call species in the animal world. as for human if they prefer to be the one or other we should respect that assuming they are real about it regardless how far in the process they are.

I can't respect anyone like this

 

[Alienfish]

Ya, good.

Also of course there are gonna be fake (tumblr) people who do it just to pose and/or get accepted by tumblr community pople(a lot of those are just bs) or for whatever reason.

And about pronouns I think it's better to ask even if it can be a bit awkward unless they tell you themselves.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I can't respect anyone like this

I assume that if from some tumblr or other bs site(regardless if edited or not) those are not worth the effort... There is a difference.

 

[visibleghost]

I can't respect anyone like this

well they're racist af so ye i get you

 

[Alienfish]

well they're racist af so ye i get you

uhh yeah they are and they don't deserve respect. But I was more referring to them being fake and just posing to be a special snowflake or whatever. they are obv. not worthy of any respect.

 

[visibleghost]

uhh yeah they are and they don't deserve respect. But I was more referring to them being fake and just posing to be a special snowflake or whatever. they are obv. not worthy of any respect.

?? what do you mean?? because they wrote "genderless" and their age?? or them saying they're a person of colour even though they're white?? (which is the super racist part)

 

[boujee]

It's a difference in being what you are and just wanting to be speshul because you're too afraid to openly say your cis(cause tumblr lol) and you create your own terms to fit in(which you will on tumblr).

 

[radical6]

I can't respect anyone like this

That's a troll blog.

I prefer they/them pronouns because they feel right to me. I'm okay with she/her too, but at the end of the day I can't care at this point.

How I feel about womanhood is a conflicting feeling for me. On one hand, I don't want any part of it. I don't want it. But on the other hand, I've accepted I will always be apart of it, and I can't escape it.

I dress very androgynous, though. If I had to choose between womanhood or manhood, I would choose womanhood.

It's hard to describe for me. I also have body dysphoria, which by definition means I'm transgender. But I only want my breasts removed, I don't actually want my vagina sown up or anything like other people. So it's hard to describe how I feel.

I have other priorities in life, so gender is not that big of an issue to me. But I know transfeminine people it's a difference between surviving and passing. I would say your gender identity matters more to you if you were assigned male at birth.

For people who were assigned male at birth - it can't just be a game if they're trans. The difference between them and me is that I can more openly tell people how I feel about my gender. If they said they were a woman, they would very likely face harassment and even murder.

The world is harsher on them because they see them as a man, a man who wants to be a woman. You cannot deny that feminity is seen as weakness. Therefore, they see a man trying to be weak.

A trans man, on the other hand, is seen as a woman trying to be a man. Obviously they still get flak for it but not on the scale as people assigned male at birth.

I can play dress up and experiment with my gender and not get killed. I'm just seen as a "tom boy".

But those people, on the other hand, dress up in a dress with high heels and mascara they could get beaten up. Killed. Harassed.

I would say gender identity is how you express yourself and what's comfortable for you.

I know trans women who use they/them out of safety. If anyone in public referred to them as she/her they would get harassed. Using he/him only makes them feel like they're men. So using they/them is a nice compromise in my opinion.