Finally came out to my family when my parents directly asked me last week. They didn't react at all. I didn't expect them to really. I knew they'd be cool with it. As my college's LGBT rep and the amount of gay and trans media (prose and film) I've produced, I was certain they already knew anyway.
LGBTQA - Discussion and support.
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I'm gay and I'd much rather you call yourself gay than call yourself a word that is a slur, and is still the cause of trauma in so many of our lives.
oliversacnl
Senior Member
I agree with you, gyro.
Hello everybody! My name is Oliver and I am transgender. I'm polysexual, but since that takes too long to explain, I'm pretty much just gay. I like men and some types of non-binary people, so there.
I'm really proud of who I am! Any other trans folks here???
Hello everybody! My name is Oliver and I am transgender. I'm polysexual, but since that takes too long to explain, I'm pretty much just gay. I like men and some types of non-binary people, so there.
I'm really proud of who I am! Any other trans folks here???
visibleghost
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lol im also trans and my name is oliver too High Five
but on the queer is a slur thing , do you all feel like it is a bad word or w/e like., idk i feel like queer has been reclaimed a lot and i get if people dont like calling themselves that (like i dont personally call myself queer bc i prefer Other Terms) but do u feel offended or hurt when you hear it beeing used?? offended/hurt arent the words i want to use but idk what else to call it so idk.
like, when people say stuff like tranny, transvestite and transsexual i feel really weird about it, like it is kinda like someone called their mom a ***** (edit: i forgot about censoring but Female Dog) all casually out of nowhere ?? it's weird and offensive and doesnt feel ok. and idk if thats how u all feel about queer but, like, to me it feels like queer is a reclaimed word and i get that not every1 thinks that but like idk.
also i guess it might be different for me because im swedish and in sweden lgbt is always called hbtq unless youre Really Bad. people who exclude the q and just say hbt are conservative, old, uninformed, cishets who use outdated homophobic and transphobic words, like, theyre the ones who say stuff like "being A Homosexual is the opposite of being Heterosexual (which is the NORMAL sexuality) and bisexual is half heterosexual and half homosexual. also transsexuals want to be The Opposite gender, think men in dresses lol". like it is super weird to exclude the Q here so maybe thats why im more ok w the word idk ?????
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For me it's on the same level as the F slur towards gay men.
As for it being reclaimed, the thing about qu**r is since it's still offensive to a lot of it, it can only be reclaimed personally. If someone wants to use it when referring to themselves, fine (granted I think it's stupid but w/e) but it shouldn't be used as an umbrella term for LGBT people when so many people are discomforted by it.
Another thing is, the word is supposed to mean "strange", "odd", "weird"... and I think it's a disgusting thing to want to call us. I'm not weird for being gay. My gayness is not strange or odd or unusual. Neither is anyone else's LGBT identity. Not to mention because of this definition, cishet kinksters are using this word to define themselves just because they wanna be whipped or whatever.
Obviously I don't know Swedish or what anything's like in Sweden so I can't speak for you guys, but for us in the Americas it really shouldn't be used and I'm really tired of it.
visibleghost
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gyro: ah alrighty. i guess that since it is an english word that was added to the swedish vocabulary by the lgbt community it has never been a slur here so it is much less offensive than in other places i guess.
also in HBTQ the h stands for homosexual which isnt rly ok to use in english (and gay ppl here dont use it that much either, most people i know say gay in english, lesbian or homo but it is still a word that is used by the community) so that's different here too
but translating lgbt directly to swedish would be Bad because the literal translation for "gay" is "b?g" but that word is more of a synonym to the f slur but we literally don't have any other words for it so the H has stayed.
("b?g" is Widely used as a slur and i think it and "lebb" (i would translate this to d*ke) are the two most used anti gay slurs here, way more than homosexual even though that was the name of the Illness way back we don't have any other great mainstream alternatives altho i think the gay community is starting to use a lot more english terms now.)
idk im kinda rambling but what im trying to say is that i get what u mean w/ how the word has a different history and meaning in different places.
also in HBTQ the h stands for homosexual which isnt rly ok to use in english (and gay ppl here dont use it that much either, most people i know say gay in english, lesbian or homo but it is still a word that is used by the community) so that's different here too
but translating lgbt directly to swedish would be Bad because the literal translation for "gay" is "b?g" but that word is more of a synonym to the f slur but we literally don't have any other words for it so the H has stayed.
("b?g" is Widely used as a slur and i think it and "lebb" (i would translate this to d*ke) are the two most used anti gay slurs here, way more than homosexual even though that was the name of the Illness way back we don't have any other great mainstream alternatives altho i think the gay community is starting to use a lot more english terms now.)
idk im kinda rambling but what im trying to say is that i get what u mean w/ how the word has a different history and meaning in different places.
MokaAkashiya
KyraTheVampyre
I'm transgender and I have a blog on how my transition is going along here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxmokamokaxx
oliversacnl
Senior Member
Visibleghost, there are so many trans guys named Oliver. On Twitter, I was once in a groupchat with 22 or so. And that's not even counting the guys who left the groupchat.
22 trans guys. All named Oliver.
It was rather overwhelming.
22 trans guys. All named Oliver.
It was rather overwhelming.
visibleghost
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what . .oh no that sounds confusing. ive only met a few other trans ppl who are called oliver but it's a kinda common name for parents to name babies so i guess it's not weird that many trans ppl choose it too.
in my experience names like alex, all those aiden/aidan/jayden/etc., ka, noahi and everything that can be shortened to josh, jay or jake are the rly common ones. i knew So Many trans ppl called alex a few years ago lol. when i was choosing a name i liked some names but then i saw a billion trans ppl w it and i was like Nah Id Rather Not be alex #35 in a small group of trans ppl lmao
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i honestly didn't know that and now im shook too
I'm 23, never dated seriously serious. I've been almost raP edin the past and saw my mother abused. For long time I've never felt like doing it was even "cool" or "fun" I find anything besides just looking gross and odd. I want a child but in my heart I get this feeling that I'm asexual, I've been in "love" so to speak with a childhood friend, but this point in my life i'm so confused. Any tips on living in a small town with people who all do it all the time X_ X or maybe its just me?
I don't really know what you're asking in the first place but
Being asexual just means you don't feel sexually attracted to people. Some ace people are sex repulsed, some aren't, some want to have sex still, some don't. Some aces are also aromantic but the two don't necessarily come hand in hand.
All I know for sure is you don't have to do the woohoo with anyone if you don't want to.
Is it maybe possible that you have a negative view on sex due to what you have seen and experienced?
For me, I have an extremely negative view on it and really don't like doing it because I feel used by my partner, even though they actually aren't using me. I feel this way due to my past experiences with people just trying to use me in that way.
KaydeeKrunk
The Late Great Turt
I have friends who are gay, and bisexual, and pansexual, who refer to themselves as queer as well. But I understand how people still use it as a slur can make it a trigger to some. Partly why I prefer gay as well.
visibleghost
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lol wtf is that why people think it is a Slur™
Mayor_Rhena001
Always Waiting
I used to be Bi, but I recently found out I'm Pan.
The only thing I hate about telling people is that they say it doesn't exist as a real preference, and every time I tell them 'well I have no real care for what people have down under and Bi/Gay still deals with what they prefer down under...so what would you refer to me as then?'. Unsurprisingly, those people still believe I'm Bi to this day and it's annoying but I've basically given up on it now. And I've heard every joke in the book about being Pan, from doing it with literal kitchen utensils to being a furry (seriously wtf those are two completely different things how did you connect the two in your mind?). The best I can do is just laugh and try to educate those who have no clue on what being Pan actually means. And I really don't tell people I'm Pan, it's really not my place unless they ask about it.
The only thing I hate about telling people is that they say it doesn't exist as a real preference, and every time I tell them 'well I have no real care for what people have down under and Bi/Gay still deals with what they prefer down under...so what would you refer to me as then?'. Unsurprisingly, those people still believe I'm Bi to this day and it's annoying but I've basically given up on it now. And I've heard every joke in the book about being Pan, from doing it with literal kitchen utensils to being a furry (seriously wtf those are two completely different things how did you connect the two in your mind?). The best I can do is just laugh and try to educate those who have no clue on what being Pan actually means. And I really don't tell people I'm Pan, it's really not my place unless they ask about it.
Ghost Soda
(he him or they them)
About the Q slur thing, I personally prefer to use "gay" as an umbrella term when I don't wanna use agender or pan for myself, and while I don't mind other LGBT+/MOGAI people calling me that word, I can understand why other people don't like being called that and don't think anyone should call someone that unless they know they're cool with it.
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