i remember when my old cis gay friend would look at people and go "i think theyre trans because of their facial structure" and i was like wtf?? or be heavily transphobic and say hes not attracted to trans men and can tell when theyre trans because of their face. im like. are you okay. ?? do people actually like...say that..?? like has anyone ever given you this argument before?? ive heard many people justify their transphobia but this one was the weirdest one ive ever heard. literally its a face..."you can tell if theyre a trans boy if their facial structure is blahblahbah" and i was just so disgusted lmao. (he would harass me so ooo many times when i deleted him for being a transphobe)
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LGBTQA - Discussion and support.
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oath2order
#Porygon2024
I can understand not being attracted to trans men. You can't help who you're attracted to. But what he was saying, I mean, that ain't right. You can't judge someone on who they are just entirely because of their facial structure.
Now, I mean, men tend to have a larger jaw and chin, and men tend to have a larger skull than women. Women tend to have smaller noses and their face is more rounded. These are all generalizations, of course, but maybe that's what your friend is going off of?
Even so, that's still broad generalizations, and you shouldn't say "I think they're trans because X".
I think you can be both born gay and become gay... If that makes any sense.
Kind of like the nature/nurture thing.
- - - Post Merge - - -
I'd 'classify' myself as bisexual. When I was 14ish I was in love with this girl that was 3 or 4 years older than me, we dated for 6ish months, (I say ish a lot... my bad lol.), then she met her then husband, broke it off, (nicely by the way) and had his child. She died when I was 16 (not saying this for attention or anything... felt it was important to the story), and a part of me will always love her. She has a beautiful son.
Then I met my now boyfriend when I was 16, and we've been dating for 3 years, there's a big age gap, but I'm bothered by it.
I still love women, but I also love my boyfriend.
Heh... sorry if this didn't make much sense, I saw a person post about how they couldn't imagine loving fe/males, and wanted to share my story.
I love both males and females, yes, they're totally different from each other, but I think that's why I do.
Lazyrs9090
Senior Member
Sounds like a ****. You can't use physiognomy to decide whether a person is transgendered or not. They may just be born that way.
how do u guys feel with the new pronouns ppl r making up??????? (bunself, daeself etc) mostly the new pronouns people are making right now that seem cute.
idk ive always used fae and they/them pronouns before people started making them and i honestly have no problem with them ?? unless fae is considered one of the cute new pronouns ????(i dont think it is because ive seen it used by people like a year or two ago ???????) and now i feel kinda ...bad using fae pronouns with all these posts against the pronouns and ?? yeah
like i see how it upsets some nb people but idk as long as the pronoun makes them comfortable ill use the pronouns they prefer ??
idk ive always used fae and they/them pronouns before people started making them and i honestly have no problem with them ?? unless fae is considered one of the cute new pronouns ????(i dont think it is because ive seen it used by people like a year or two ago ???????) and now i feel kinda ...bad using fae pronouns with all these posts against the pronouns and ?? yeah
like i see how it upsets some nb people but idk as long as the pronoun makes them comfortable ill use the pronouns they prefer ??
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oath2order
#Porygon2024
where are people using them and what the **** is bunself, daeself even supposed to mean.
Stevey Queen
The Queen of Mimosas
What are these things that you speak of?
theyre nonbinary pronouns....?????????
so like
bun/buns/bunself i think ? i cant really remember
i dont use them and im just using they/them
nonbinary pronouns ?????????
i probably wasnt very clear in my post, sorry
but i see how the community is upset about people making pronouns over objects and stuff? i mean i dont really mind tbh? i think theyre cute but i probably wont use them idk
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oath2order
#Porygon2024
I just use the binary pronouns until told otherwise
you mean u would use female and male pronouns??
idk like..if u do that u will kinda end up misgendering people. i honestly think the best way to not misgender someone if u dont know their pronouns is they/them but whatever
harvington
im dumb
I think if someone asked me, face to face in person, to use pronouns like that I might have a different opinion... but the only place I have seen that as of right now is tumblr. I literally saw someone saying they wanted "bot" pronouns (botself, etc) because they wanted to be "an android that was brought to sentience and didn't understand human emotion" or some other thing like that.
it's just disappointing that people treat gender identities like a roleplaying game. coming straight out and saying that you're using non-traditional pronouns because you want to play pretend you are something else (like a robot, or a faerie, or an animal) is bizarre and has really unfortunate implications for other NB individuals who have different personal pronouns. ehhh.
Actually most trans* and non-binary people don't mind if you ask them which pronouns they prefer. As long as you ask kindly and not be rude about it by saying something like "So like, what ARE you exactly?".
If you want to be super safe use them/their/etc., but that's still a little iffy.
If you want to be super safe use them/their/etc., but that's still a little iffy.
oath2order
#Porygon2024
Well, the problem with that is two things:
I can't exactly ask everybody "What's your pronouns?" because then I'll just get confused looks.
The other thing is I don't know who's trans* or non-binary, hence leading to the problem above.
idk i saw someone said they came up with fire related pronouns because they feel as if their gender is fire. idk like..some pronouns are otherkin only and? im just kinda confused by everything.
though, its not NB individual's faults (those who are using the new pronouns) its the people who wont respect NB pronouns in general i guess??? im very iffy on the topic because i see how some NB folks are hurt by this..but then like. they like these pronouns more because they feel more comfortable with them. i think this is an issue that should really only be talked about by NB folks. someone said a cis person was making a pronoun post and? i got bad vibes from that because like - why are you making pronoun posts??? (they made a list) like..um..why are you making these???/ omg
i know ive used "trans*" in the past but i stop using it now. trans* is actually kinda hurtful for these reasons. trans works just fine as an umbrella term. also yeah, as a nb person i wouldnt mind. and yeaah using they/them can be iffy - if you know what pronouns to use, dont use they/them on purpose. that can come off as rude. (ex: trans women not being seen as real women so people use they/them pronouns)
again what i said to reizo, dont use trans*
i guess like if you ask people who dont know very much about the topic they'll just look at you weird. but i think its better to be safe than sorry than to misgender someone. so like. use they/them or at least try avoid being personal and maybe rephrase what you would say to avoid using pronouns until they like correct you or something? idk
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I am friends with three trans women. None of them are happy if you ask them "which pronoun do you prefer". They are female, and they want to be treated as female. Period.
im afab so i cant really speak on this but i guess reizo meant more like. if this is your first time ever meeting someone its okay to ask which pronouns they use? i didnt know if that would come off as rude. i dont think he meant to say that trans women arent women or anything like that uh yeah. like obv if i knew they were women i would use female pronouns for them. but if i know nothing about them then i dont want to make assumptions about their gender, so i would ask what pronouns they use.
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you dont need to have your sexuality figured out so early ok its ok
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