LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[Darumy]

As someone pretty fortunate in terms of my surroundings being accepting of sexuality, I hope this isn't stepping out of bounds for a support thread, but I wanted to ask a few questions.

Spoiler

How much do you feel your sexuality defines you? Is it something you consider to be part of your legacy?

I've come to notice that those who are of sexual orientations that are not universally accepted tend to define themselves a lot more drastically by their sexual orientation. I realize that open embracement of your sexual identity is an effort against those who discriminate, and pride is very important to those who have been subject to a world majority trying to take it away from them. But in an idealistic world, would you believe that sexual identity would still be equally important?

I have to apologize if I'm stepping on any toes. As part of a newer generation, I may not fully understand the lines drawn for what makes a person notable. I've always considered myself/others have considered me pretty androgynous. I figured that it really didn't matter whether I fell in love with a male or a female, so I never worried much about specifications and definitions or even labeling my own sexual orientation, thinking it wasn't worth the confusion and trouble I had watched others go through; just whatever happened happens.

After so many years on the internet and hanging around people from all corners of the world, I realize many place a lot more importance on the subject than I do. Is it simply because society is on..the uh, precipice of the battle for acceptance? Or am I wrong for undermining the importance of sexuality?

My personal concerns aside, this thread is really sweet. It's nice to see support being available for people in every corner 8'D

 

[Minties]

As someone pretty fortunate in terms of my surroundings being accepting of sexuality, I hope this isn't stepping out of bounds for a support thread, but I wanted to ask a few questions.

Spoiler

How much do you feel your sexuality defines you? Is it something you consider to be part of your legacy?

I've come to notice that those who are of sexual orientations that are not universally accepted tend to define themselves a lot more drastically by their sexual orientation. I realize that open embracement of your sexual identity is an effort against those who discriminate, and pride is very important to those who have been subject to a world majority trying to take it away from them. But in an idealistic world, would you believe that sexual identity would still be equally important?

I have to apologize if I'm stepping on any toes. As part of a newer generation, I may not fully understand the lines drawn for what makes a person notable. I've always considered myself/others have considered me pretty androgynous. I figured that it really didn't matter whether I fell in love with a male or a female, so I never worried much about specifications and definitions or even labeling my own sexual orientation, thinking it wasn't worth the confusion and trouble I had watched others go through; just whatever happened happens.

After so many years on the internet and hanging around people from all corners of the world, I realize many place a lot more importance on the subject than I do. Is it simply because society is on..the uh, precipice of the battle for acceptance? Or am I wrong for undermining the importance of sexuality?

My personal concerns aside, this thread is really sweet. It's nice to see support being available for people in every corner 8'D

I feel like you reached in my brain and plucked the thoughts right out of my head. I've never really given much thought to my own sexuality because it has always been just ....there. I don't feel the need to constantly bring it up because I'm not defined by it. I feel like I'm so much more than these silly terms we need to assign ourselves.

If I go up to someone and say:

"Hi I'm a 23 year old bisexual that plays video games and is going to school for veterinary science."

I just instantly put myself in a category in their head. That person is going to hang on the word bisexual, especially if they don't agree with it. It doesn't allow them to get to know me first because I felt the need to tell them something they never even asked about in the first place.

Had I said:

"Hi I'm a 23 year old person that plays video games and is going to school for veterinary science."

Now I feel like they would ask me questions about the games I play or something or about my degree. Point being, sexuality is a BIG thing to judge others on for a lot of people. I'm not saying that we should be ashamed of our sexuality, but I don't feel like there needs to be a giant banner following people saying "I'M GAY. DID YOU HEAR I'M GAY?" Great! You do your thing, I'll do mine.

----

The other thing that really grinds my gears and I've seen it pop up in this thread is the absolute venom towards straight/cis/whatever tumblr term people. I searched the tags on tumblr and I'm actually pretty disgusted at this portion of the LGBTQA community for saying such horrible, vile things. Small sample:

"cis shaming! straight shaming! you ****ing cishets ruin everything that was ever meant for trans/queer people. i can’t safely go to any events for trans/queer people because they’re gonna be flooded with cishets who are just their to see the sights or to make themselves feel like they’re such good allies. but all you cishets are doing is making trans queers like me feel unsafe at an event that should be a safe space for us."

"straight cis people arent normal"

"The world would honestly be such a better place without cis people and meat eaters"

"*cis person yelling “we’re not all like that!” voice* “i’m a NICE cis person! I NEVER do anything wrong! and when I do I don’t have to be held accountable for my actions because I’m NICE”"


Haven't people ever heard that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind? I remember being a stupid 17 year old kid when Prop 8 came up in Calfornia (the one to legalize gay marriage). I thought I was being a social justice warrior by running around in the dead of night taking all of the "Yes on Prop 8! Protect Marriage!" signs that people put in their front yards. Was that going to make that person change their mind on gay marriage? No. If anything, it was going to piss them off more that I wanted to silence their opinion instead of actually educating them on the fact that sexuality doesn't define a human being. All we're doing is spewing their hatred right back at them, so it's a never ending circle of hate. Harassing people for identifying with a group, when the single person themselves hasn't done a thing to you, is stupid. You should encourage education and acceptance and stop the hate train because we're getting nowhere with it.

 

[Gizmodo]

You're right. We shouldn't hate Hitler either.

Those poor, oppressive dead people.

Oh my god!! so true
Just because someone is dead, doesnt mean they suddenly become immune to attacking

- - - Post Merge - - -

Wishing that Fred Phelps burns in Hell is stooping to his level. :/

Yes because i go around public places and protest and wish people to burn in hell
and i'm also going to picket his funeral arent i?
just like by me saying Hitler is disgusting, im suddenly going to exterminate 6 million people
no.

 

[Jas0n]

You're right. We shouldn't hate Hitler either.

Those poor, oppressive dead people.

I don't see any reason to hate Hitler either. He's dead, it's in the past. Same with Fred Phelps. Spreading more hate doesn't help anybody, it only creates a vicious cycle.

 

[Gizmodo]

I don't see any reason to hate Hitler either. He's dead, it's in the past. Same with Fred Phelps. Spreading more hate doesn't help anybody, it only creates a vicious cycle.

Spreading hate doesn't help obviously, and i'd never go on a hate campaign, but i think it's different on here especially, somewhere i can rant..

 

[radical6]

snip

1. cisphobia isnt real
2. those are trans people venting. its not the same as transphobia. yes it might hurt your feelings but they have to deal with transphobia and for AMAB trans people sometimes murder. (a AMAB agender person i think got set on fire for wearing a skirt)
3. all of those are jokes literally they dont hate cis people. maybe theyre afraid of them but they have every right to. honestly when i vent its so much easier saying "i hate cis people" rather than saying "i hate my mother". taking your frustrations out on a group that constantly spews out transphobic things at you is so much easier than taking it out on someone you love. when my best friend misgenders me all the time its so much easier saying that than saying i hate her. and sometimes im just so frustrated. but at the end of the day, i dont hate cis people.

 

[Gizmodo]

There are some people who do seem to find it controversial to hate cis people, and post awful things of how they should die and make signs and stuff, and really are pathetic, and those people need to stop because it only regresses the movement and makes us all look bitter
but most of the community dont hate cis people, we hate bigoted people, who a lot of the time are cis

 

[radical6]

There are some people who do seem to find it controversial to hate cis people, and post awful things of how they should die and make signs and stuff, and really are pathetic, and those people need to stop because it only regresses the movement and makes us all look bitter
but most of the community dont hate cis people, we hate bigoted people, who a lot of the time are cis

i have seen no one on tumblr ever go up to a cis person and say "die". (solely for them being cis) i dont agree with making suicide jokes and everything but idk saying "i wish all cis people died" isnt that bad?? obviously when theyre saying something like that they must be upset and theyre simply venting. but on the other hand if a transphobe said "i wish all trans people would die" that is much worse. because trans people do face murder and rape.

think of it this way, if you yelled at your boss "YOU'RE FIRED!" it has no effect.
but if your boss yells at you "YOU'RE FIRED!" you are fired, because she has power over you.

sometimes the jokes can get out of hand but they will never have power to actually hurt them.

 

[Gizmodo]

i have seen no one on tumblr ever go up to a cis person and say "die". (solely for them being cis) i dont agree with making suicide jokes and everything but idk saying "i wish all cis people died" isnt that bad?? obviously when theyre saying something like that they must be upset and theyre simply venting. but on the other hand if a transphobe said "i wish all trans people would die" that is much worse. because trans people do face murder and rape.

think of it this way, if you yelled at your boss "YOU'RE FIRED!" it has no effect.
but if your boss yells at you "YOU'RE FIRED!" you are fired, because she has power over you.

sometimes the jokes can get out of hand but they will never have power to actually hurt them.

They dont have the power, but i still find soemthing like all cis people die is offensive? bc i do think of my family who are so SUPPORTIVE and i just think no?
Obviously im supportive of the community im just saying all these jokes dont portray the best image of us! to some people and that makes me sad :c

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also when some say Die cis scum die? why!

 

[radical6]

They dont have the power, but i still find soemthing like all cis people die is offensive? bc i do think of my family who are so SUPPORTIVE and i just think no?
Obviously im supportive of the community im just saying all these jokes dont portray the best image of us! to some people and that makes me sad :c

honestly its not even that many trans people who make jokes like that. they dont literally mean it but theyre venting and you gotta understand that they dont hate cis people, theyre just angry at them and their power over trans people i guess. i dont quite agree with jokes like "cis people should kill themselves" because thats a suicide joke. but jokes like "trans people> cis people" is fine. tumblr can be a safeplace for these trans people. (hint: can. doesnt stop anti sj and transphobes from harassing them) if they dare say anything like this IRL they would get in soo much trouble. i think once you know transphobia is finally erased then these harmless jokes will go away. but thats not gonna happen anytime soon.

and no one says "die cis scum" that is only said by anti SJ people. i have never ever seen a trans person say that ever. trans people didnt create it.

 

[Gizmodo]

Honestly don't worry tumblr has provided me so much support and the amazing fellow people i have met on there have been lovely to me :3
And yeah i definitely get angry, bi get angry and upset at bigots
Also whats Anti SJ mean?

 

[kite]

Spreading hate doesn't help obviously, and i'd never go on a hate campaign, but i think it's different on here especially, somewhere i can rant.

Then use a blog, not a thread meant for supporting people. It's just negativity to me. Personally I don't want to see a rant about some guy I don't care about. Use that time for positivity, it's better for this thread.

 

[radical6]

Honestly don't worry tumblr has provided me so much support and the amazing fellow people i have met on there have been lovely to me :3
And yeah i definitely get angry, bi get angry and upset at bigots
Also whats Anti SJ mean?

anti sj means anti social justice and theyre basically against "social justice warriors" and feminists. most of the time their opinions are terrible. many of them are transphobic too, though there are a couple trans guys who are anti sj. and theyre pretty racist too. that and some anti sj people are probably neo nazis

 

[Gizmodo]

This is like the first time i've ranted on here anyway , its not like im going to do it on a regular occurence, i can see how its annoying. On the whole this thread has provided a lot of support, especially throguh people who have pmed me to help me in my situation which has been fabby

 

[Colour Bandit]

http://www.essexcountystandard.co.u...w_glass_bottle_at_woman_in_hate_crime/?ref=mr
Unfortunately this happened locally to me on Wednesday, a Trans Woman was followed and attacked by two young men, luckily she wasn't hurt but it is really horrible that something like this has happened. The car they were driving had it's plates taped over so finding the attackers is going to be difficult.

 

[radical6]

http://www.essexcountystandard.co.u...w_glass_bottle_at_woman_in_hate_crime/?ref=mr
Unfortunately this happened locally to me on Wednesday, a Trans Woman was followed and attacked by two young men, luckily she wasn't hurt but it is really horrible that something like this has happened. The car they were driving had it's plates taped over so finding the attackers is going to be difficult.

yeah this is what i mean when i say amab (assigned male at birth) trans people face so much more violence. i mean afab (assigned female at birth) people like me can face violence but i dont think it will ever be as common.trans women and amab nb people have a high chance of being attacked if i recall. my heart goes out for her ):

 

[Gizmodo]

http://www.essexcountystandard.co.u...w_glass_bottle_at_woman_in_hate_crime/?ref=mr
Unfortunately this happened locally to me on Wednesday, a Trans Woman was followed and attacked by two young men, luckily she wasn't hurt but it is really horrible that something like this has happened. The car they were driving had it's plates taped over so finding the attackers is going to be difficult.

Eurgh.. literally theres 0 trans people in my entire town and its scary :/
so disgusting JUST LEAVE HER ALONE

- - - Post Merge - - -

yeah this is what i mean when i say amab (assigned male at birth) trans people face so much more violence. i mean afab (assigned female at birth) people like me can face violence but i dont think it will ever be as common.trans women and amab nb people have a high chance of being attacked if i recall. my heart goes out for her ):

Yeah definitely bc whilst ftm people do face discrimination a lot of people in society whilst not accepting of trans people.. Can accept a girl dressing in a tomboyish way and not bat an eyelid on the street..
Whilst if they see a boy walking down in a dress, everyone stares

 

[radical6]

Eurgh.. literally theres 0 trans people in my entire town and its scary :/
so disgusting JUST LEAVE HER ALONE

Yeah definitely bc whilst ftm people do face discrimination a lot of people in society whilst not accepting of trans people.. Can accept a girl dressing in a tomboyish way and not bat an eyelid on the street..
Whilst if they see a boy walking down in a dress, everyone stares

i prefer to say trans guys or afab rather than female to w/e because it sounds like you're saying they were a girl once. when they were truly never a girl, but i wont get too much into that.

yeah thats why amab people face higher rates of violence. that and its harder for them to pass :/ and its harder for trans women to even buy girl things...because they will get looks in public. as opposed to a trans guy buying male things, i mean they might get looks but no one will question them. and trans guys might get stared at for using the men's bathroom, but whenever a trans girl tries to use the girls bathroom people will scream. i even read a story that a school allowed a trans girl to use the girls bathroom and all these parents of cis girls were like "he is going to harm our daughters....and peek at them..hes a danger and is messed up...we pray for him every night" im like wtf ur the dangerous ones here who keep misgendering her. she didnt even do anything to the girls smh

 

[Colour Bandit]

yeah this is what i mean when i say amab (assigned male at birth) trans people face so much more violence. i mean afab (assigned female at birth) people like me can face violence but i dont think it will ever be as common.trans women and amab nb people have a high chance of being attacked if i recall. my heart goes out for her ):

I really hope some witnesses will come forward, on my way home today they had a radio appeal for any witnesses or people who may know the attackers to come forward but I have this horrible feeling the attackers are going to get away Its things like this that really make me lose faith in humanity... I just hope something like this doesn't happen again in Colchester...

 

[Gizmodo]

i prefer to say trans guys or afab rather than female to w/e because it sounds like you're saying they were a girl once. when they were truly never a girl, but i wont get too much into that.

yeah thats why amab people face higher rates of violence. that and its harder for them to pass :/ and its harder for trans women to even buy girl things...because they will get looks in public. as opposed to a trans guy buying male things, i mean they might get looks but no one will question them. and trans guys might get stared at for using the men's bathroom, but whenever a trans girl tries to use the girls bathroom people will scream. i even read a story that a school allowed a trans girl to use the girls bathroom and all these parents of cis girls were like "he is going to harm our daughters....and peek at them..hes a danger and is messed up...we pray for him every night" im like wtf ur the dangerous ones here who keep misgendering her. she didnt even do anything to the girls smh

Yeah i'm just used to saying Mtf or ftm, though i prefer to not use the labels at all, its quite complicated, just when posting on the internet and talking in real life, its easier as more people are used to those labels, ill have to explain to you, how i view my label lol its weird, bc some people would just see it as internalized hate which is pretty annoying