LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[Lady Timpani]

I will, the person generally is all bark and no bite so I'm not too worried just a bit shocked and shaken up

Do you hang out with this person often? I've found that a way to distance myself from toxic people is to gradually draw away from them until they lose interest. Generally speaking I don't really go out of my way to talk to them-- I respond if they talk to me, but I don't initiate conversations and I don't keep the conversations we do have going for very long. Usually they get the message or just consider your boring and don't want much to do with you after that.

On a completely different note, how do some of you guys feel about the q word (I have no idea if the forum allows this word, but I'm sure everyone knows what I mean)? I know a lot of people who use it, but I also know people who hate it and try to avoid it as much as possible.

 

[MozzarellaSticks]

I like the q word. Probably because I can't find a label for myself and prefer to use it instead. Almost everyone I know uses it to refer to the entire group itself and those in the categories and subcategories.

 

[Clara Oswald]

Do you hang out with this person often? I've found that a way to distance myself from toxic people is to gradually draw away from them until they lose interest. Generally speaking I don't really go out of my way to talk to them-- I respond if they talk to me, but I don't initiate conversations and I don't keep the conversations we do have going for very long. Usually they get the message or just consider your boring and don't want much to do with you after that.

On a completely different note, how do some of you guys feel about the q word (I have no idea if the forum allows this word, but I'm sure everyone knows what I mean)? I know a lot of people who use it, but I also know people who hate it and try to avoid it as much as possible.

I don't try to talk to them really, he is in my group of friends so I can't avoid him entirely as I have no were else to go. Thanks for the advice I will put it into practice

 

[Lady Timpani]

I like the q word. Probably because I can't find a label for myself and prefer to use it instead. Almost everyone I know uses it to refer to the entire group itself and those in the categories and subcategories.

Same. Tbh I find it difficult to use the acronym because it's ever expanding and certain parts of it can be misconstrued-- also it's kind of a mouthful lmao. I can understand why people (mainly the older generation) don't like it, but I think until we find a better word for it, it's the nest we've got.

 

[Gizmodo]

Practically everyone knows now and theyre all so supportive and say ill pass rly well and im so happy im finally Jenna like egrhhrhwrhrwhrhwehwrhwr
Buying my new wardrobe is so fun

 

[radical6]

I think 14's a little young to know for sure if you're asexual hun. You could just be a late bloomer, plenty of kids that age aren't interested in sex or even love sometimes. Either way people don't have the right to treat you this way. I would avoid making too much of a fuss and telling everyone around you that you believe you are asexual. Most kids your age won't understand and will be disrespectful about it and it'll only make things worse and they'll be no reasoning with them. Just brush it off for now, tell them you have better things to do. That's nothing more than my personal advice of course.

I don't think 14 is too young. If they're confident that they're asexual, then let them be. People know from the beginning, and for others they learn later. There's nothing wrong with knowing at a young age. They already know.

Also for the q word, it's really hard for me to not use it as a catch all term for non straight people. I use the term "LGB+" or non-het people when talking about it I guess. I didn't know the Q word was even a slur though. Mostly because it's never used around here, but down south it's an insult.

 

[cannedcommunism]

I'm currently not sure what I am. I'm wavering between straight and bi, currently leaning a bit towards bi. But if I decide that I'm bi, what do I do about it? I'm afraid that I'll lose a hell of a lot of friends because of it, so I don't know what to do about this.

 

[flurry]

i'm a bit scared of coming out as nonbinary to my friends. they tend to make fun of "transtrenders" (even though they're all cis..), and i don't want to lose them. but getting referred to by she/her pronouns by them is seriously starting to get on my nerves.

 

[Glaed]

i'm a bit scared of coming out as nonbinary to my friends. they tend to make fun of "transtrenders" (even though they're all cis..), and i don't want to lose them. but getting referred to by she/her pronouns by them is seriously starting to get on my nerves.

I understand that completely. I'm genderfluid, and being referred to as a "girl" or "lady" irritates me like no other. But I'm worried that if I told my friends (or heaven forbid, parents oh god), they'd just laugh. i have no problem kicking people out of my life that can't respect me. But it's hard with people I've been attached to for a long time. :c

Do you have any lgbtqa groups near you? I'm looking into joining one, and hoping I can find some people there who aren't cis, just so I can have someone to connect with without feeling ridiculed for my gender.

Also, I found it very comforting to have friends online who are nonbinary/genderfluid, because we can share are experiences and advice and stuff. : D they're like my support group.

 

[Farobi]

I'm currently not sure what I am. I'm wavering between straight and bi, currently leaning a bit towards bi. But if I decide that I'm bi, what do I do about it? I'm afraid that I'll lose a hell of a lot of friends because of it, so I don't know what to do about this.

You're only one or the other, sorry. You're still young so I don't think you should be quick to judge yourself yet.

 

[cannedcommunism]

You're only one or the other, sorry. You're still young so I don't think you should be quick to judge yourself yet.

That's what I said. I'm not sure what I am.

 

[Lady Timpani]

Practically everyone knows now and theyre all so supportive and say ill pass rly well and im so happy im finally Jenna like egrhhrhwrhrwhrhwehwrhwr
Buying my new wardrobe is so fun

This is super cute! uvu Congratulations and good luck.

 

[cannedcommunism]

Practically everyone knows now and theyre all so supportive and say ill pass rly well and im so happy im finally Jenna like egrhhrhwrhrwhrhwehwrhwr
Buying my new wardrobe is so fun

Congratulations! I would never change genders, and even if I wanted to, I would be to scared to see what people would think. But you did what was right for you! Congrats!

 

[radical6]

i'm a bit scared of coming out as nonbinary to my friends. they tend to make fun of "transtrenders" (even though they're all cis..), and i don't want to lose them. but getting referred to by she/her pronouns by them is seriously starting to get on my nerves.

when i came out most of my friends didnt really understand, but theyre on the tumblr sj scene so they began to accept it. i mean theres the occasional misgender here and there but they've gotten better at it

anyway if they use the term "Transtrenders" then they're probably truscum. try to explain that "transtrender" isnt real just like people who "fake bisexuality". they dont have the right to determine your gender. i'm sure that you at least have one friend who isn't transphobic/truscum.. they really shouldn't stick their noses in peoples identities anyway if they're cis because it's not something they can understand on the same level. i was pretty hesitant to come out to some friends because although they're not really anti sj they reblog offensive things sometimes. im pretty paranoid they think im a transtrender or something but for the most part you should try to convince your friends maybe?? idk. dont say it outright like "hey im nb and this isnt cool" until they're growing to become accepting. maybe slip in little comments here and there "it's their choice, their life, not yours" or something like that and see how they react? maybe you can change their mind. but good luck

 

[Titi]

Honestly, I don't think anyone is too young to know their sexuality. They may not fully understand it, and that's okay. Sexuality is fluid anyway. There are people who knew their sexuality from a young age and those who discovered it later in life. Their are people who can't find theirs. None of them are wrong. But it is important to keep in mind that sexuality is fluid and not a concrete that must be labeled.

Aye, some people know their sexuality from a very young age, but asexuality is different in the sense that it's defined by the lack of sexual need/want and sometimes even romantic relationships. Considering this only spawns during teen years anyway it can be normal for a young teen to not be attracted by sex at all yet and it will come a few years later in life. It's significantly different from realizing that you're attracted to the same gender for example. You see what I mean?
It's totally possible that they are in fact asexual, but it's not set in stone.

 

[MozzarellaSticks]

Aye, some people know their sexuality from a very young age, but asexuality is different in the sense that it's defined by the lack of sexual need/want and sometimes even romantic relationships. Considering this only spawns during teen years anyway it can be normal for a young teen to not be attracted by sex at all yet and it will come a few years later in life. It's significantly different from realizing that you're attracted to the same gender for example. You see what I mean?
It's totally possible that they are in fact asexual, but it's not set in stone.

Sexuality is never set in stone. Just want to point that out. It's very much fluid.

But if we say that asexuality can't be fully realized until adolescence we have to say the same about all sexuality. Because your argument is that children can't be attracted to sex, so therefore they can't know what sexes/genders they prefer. Which would lead us to believe that those young are feeling their romantic attraction, not sexual. But then an argument can be made that children don't understand romantic attraction.

Honestly this is an area where I, like many, am on the fence. Because children do have somewhat of an understanding on the topic and their feelings, but not enough to fully comprehend. Plus they have not reached sexual maturity.

 

[Lady Timpani]

I think kids can have a general idea of their sexualities, but those may change. For example, when I was younger, I had crushes on boys and girls. Now that I'm older I realize I was mistaking my feelings of friendship for those boys for feeling of romantic attraction. However, I still experience romantic and sexual attraction to women (not a whole lot lately, but just in general).

To better fit the a sexuality argument, though, we can take my friend. At 10, she always said she wasn't interested in anybody, regardless of gender. When she was 15, she came out as asexual. Recently she's begun to realize she might not actually be asexual. I have no idea if, as Titi said, she was a "late bloomer" or what.

But, I do agree that sexuality is fluid, so it's kind of one big gray area for me lol.

 

[MozzarellaSticks]

To better fit the a sexuality argument, though, we can take my friend. At 10, she always said she wasn't interested in anybody, regardless of gender. When she was 15, she came out as asexual. Recently she's begun to realize she might not actually be asexual. I have no idea if, as Titi said, she was a "late bloomer" or what.

I've heard a term greysexual to describe something similar. Basically it's when someone rarely feels sexual attraction and is predominantly asexual. Like falling between asexual and not. I've mainly seen it used when people can't feel sexual attraction until love is established.

 

[Lady Timpani]

Ye, I've heard it as well. I think she has too, since she did a fair amount of research into the asexual community? But I don't think that's the way she identifies.

 

[MozzarellaSticks]

I couldn't help. I suck at labels. I couldn't accurately label myself and just kind of went with it no label. I just see the spectrum as too broad to accurately pinpoint one spot. Plenty of people prefer having a name, though. It's a personal preference thing I guess.