I suffer from treatment resistant Major Depression, Anxiety (both social and Agoraphobia) and PTSD from childhood abuse. It's a long hard road, but I see my therapist and psychiatrist religiously and they're committed to getting me better. And I am in better shape than I was before I moved to where I am now and started seeing them.
With COVID-19, I can't get out of the house and clear my head as much as I'd like, or go see my boyfriend's family, or have some retail therapy... And I worry that our world will never be quite the same. On a selfish note, I keep hoping against hope that things will clear up before the end of June so I can travel to our yearly vacation spot... so many good memories are made there. But it likely won't happen this year and it bums me out.
The positive is that we can still play D&D with our friends over Skype on the weekends - I look forward to hearing their voices. It soothes my soul. We laugh a lot together.
I cannot even start to imagine what you have to go through with agoraphobia.. and I hope it will only get better for you in the future
The pandemic is clearly affecting everyone mentally and the wold will never be the same after. It's not selfish to want to travel but it should be done after the pandemic has subsided or green light is given by the authorities for free movement (although it is best to practice social distancing and good hygiene practices during your travels until a vaccine is available). Don't be bummed out and think of what future good memories can be made at your yearly vacation spot or reminisce of the good times and take note of what you missed out on then and would like to accomplish next time around (make a list). Keeping yourself occupied or distracted with things you enjoy doing can help alot with your anxiety and depression!
It's good that you can be comfortable with your friends on the weekends. Hang in there and look forward to your weekends and know that when things hit rock bottom, the good stuff has yet to came and will surely come (only a matter of perspectives
).
I suffer from/have 'classical' autism, SPD (sensory processing disorder), misophonia, hyperacusis, hypersensitivity, social anxiety, slight amnesia (ever since I first started living on my own with counsellors), and certain phobias including thanatophobia.
I also think I have a predisposition for other kinds of anxiety, depression and PTSD, of which I even have quite some symptoms that became worse ever since age 13 or 14, and lately (indeed, since age 16, I think), I've also been suffering from mental pain* with an unknown cause, for which I think I'm mandatory to visit a psychologist or psychiatrist anytime soon. (Hopefully when this pandemic clownery is all done and gone.)
And despite my diagnoses and possibilities in that respect, people still like to put me under pressure while they know very well that I cannot handle that, and it always has a negative outcome/result anyway.
I usually have music therapy to somewhat calm my mind down successfully, which has now been put on hold due to the current virus situation (don't worry, I'm not sick with it, it's just for safety), and I formerly had cognitive behaviour therapy, which, to be honest, was a bit difficult, as my social anxiety consistently blocked me from telling my therapist the things that bothered me the most at that moment, even when I knew them (the therapist) a bit better after a while.
Despite the advice of many people who think they're experienced with people like me, I do not take any medicine, and never did either, as I'm convinced that those only make my mental state worse, rather than better. I am considering to take CBD oil, though, as it's one of the few natural kinds of medicine, rather than the 'artificial' kinds like ritalin or oxazepam.
Even in situations like right now with the ongoing virus, I try my best to live as good and balanced as possible, since I'm also glad to be alive anyway, but my disorders and predispositions often tend to make things worse than they really seem to be.
At the moment, things like doing the groceries, writing while listening to calming music, playing (calming) video games, reading (out loud to myself, occasionally) and doing things with my hands (e.g. drawing or crafting) are some of the few ways that help keep my head a tad clear.
*To me, mental pain feels as if my entire body is in pain, with a difference being that I don't even experience physical pain anywhere until occasional further notice where the pain somehow becomes worse. I don't feel the pain whenever I'm distracted by music therapy or things that I like to do, but for most of the time, no matter how I really feel, I always feel it, and in different degrees per time, too. (Even already explaining this hurts me, to be honest, most likely because I don't think anyone would really understand.)
What you need is a hug and I'm sorry I cannot give you one
"..despite my diagnoses and possibilities in that respect, people still like to put me under pressure while they know very well that I cannot handle that, and it always has a negative outcome/result anyway." - People can be cruel and heartless and I hope you meet better people during your life's journey.
"..social anxiety consistently blocked me from telling my therapist the things that bothered me the most at that moment." - Maybe you could try to keep a journal whenever you have a thought process and show it to your therapist
"I do not take any medicine, and never did either, as I'm convinced that those only make my mental state worse, rather than better." - You are correct! You have no idea what sort of cocktail ingredients the drugs are made of and it could lead to dependency on it, which is detriment to your overall condition.
"I try my best to live as good and balanced as possible, since I'm also glad to be alive anyway" - Being a good person is enough to justify your existence (not god, not your family, not your friends, not anyone). Remember that there are always people suffering from much worse conditions than you and you should learn to love yourself and your body (it may not be perfect but its not the worse either
; I mean there's no such thing as perfection, everyone is flawed, we just need to accept what our flaws are).
"..most likely because I don't think anyone would really understand." - You are not wrong but you are not correct either. People may not truly understand you because they are not you but people (those suffering from similar conditions or decent human beings) will relate or try to relate to your situation. One thing that intrigues me and I would like you to know is that everyone will have a different perception of you even yourself (be kinder to yourself and rather than think you are broken, think that you are unique and that there are people out there just like you that would someday need your help and that your experiences will be your greatest asset in helping them and those experiences will help you realize something that you might not have
).
Stay safe and stay strong! If you cannot find a light at the end of a dark tunnel, then make a light to light your way (your possibilities are limitless only limited by what you set and expect of yourself)!
The last few months have been hard for me, I was just about to start therapy but I can't because of social distancing. I've considered therapy via phone or webcam but I have pretty severe phone anxiety. I'm Autistic, extremely likely to also have ADHD, and struggle with mood and trauma issues, and on top of that, I'm trans and need to work on assessing with a therapist if I'm ready for hormones or not, so it's been kind of gloomy to have to put that all off.
Just a suggestion, why don't you send emails instead? Since you are able to post and explain your condition, email a therapist and let them know that you have an anxiety with phone or webcam and have the therapist find a solution or method that you can practice on your own offline and in a safe environment. Remember that you are unique and your uniqueness is something that people should be appreciative of, since normalcy is overrated.
About being trans, I think you need to seriously consider your sexual orientation, hormones can mess with your body and mental state and should not be taken lightly even with advise from a therapist. If you are comfortable with your sexual orientation the way it is, then be confident about it. You will meet stubborn and close-minded people everywhere but there are also open-minded curious people that would more than happy talk to you about your life (because it is interesting and different from their own)
I suffer from depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, s*xual trauma, and ADHD. It's... a lot. Things were going relatively very well for me this last year because I got a good job, and with financial stability comes security to invest in yourself. So I was doing that for the last several months but then I got laid off. COVID-19 affects me both negatively and positively: I live with my family and hearing them stress about their finances gives me a lot of anxiety, and it's hard for me to tune them out. But on the plus side, I've gotten to play video games in peace, watch anime, and finish books I've been meaning to read. And with that added free time since I'm now unemployed, I want to try recording myself singing and get some sort of rough VO demo reel going. I'm trying so hard not to get in my feels and intrusive thoughts about my self worth since getting laid off, because I think my job also "validated" a lot for me. Like one of my deepest fears is I'm a fraud, a fake, an idiot.
I truly wish everyone in this thread the very best, especially during this difficult time. My DM's are also always open.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself. I recently graduated from university and was about to start working soon but has been postponed continuously until the pandemic is over (I specialise in the hospitality industry, in particular but not limited to hotels and resorts). The pandemic is affecting everyone everywhere, those suffering from poverty are the hardest hit victims.
I currently live with my family too but I am teaching math, history and geography to Grade 1 kids and thus have a side income. Despite that, my family still talks about the financial burden of keeping me around (it is natural). However, remember that they are speaking only because they are worried and stressed too but family will always value family unless the family is broken... Deep down, they are relieved that you are safe and sound during this pandemic
You are neither a fraud, fake, or an idiot - you are not a con man/ woman, neither are you a gold digger (can be both male and female, I'm not bias) and you are not stubborn and illiterate. Every life has a value, humans or plants, but your value decreases the more your actions hurt people around you or is not beneficial to surrounding community as a whole. Willing to help people is a good trait, if you need validation, then your actions of wanting to help others makes you a decent human being
Actions are stronger than words! Remember words can be spoken easily but actions takes geniunity
Wow I'm really happy that I found this. I didn't expect to find such a thing. I suffer from extreme anxiety, agoraphobia, and severe depression. I was on various medications in the past that had varying degrees of success/failure. I had one psychiatrist put me on the highest dose of valium and then tell me that I was a addict. I got really upset and weened myself off the medication. I think he was trying to create an addict so that I would keep running back to him. I decided at that point I wanted to try without docs and meds. 
I had very little success and the pain of my mothers death that the meds covered up came out all at once. I had a complete breakdown. It took years for me to recover from such overwhelming depression and that's when I developed the agoraphobia. A few months ago after trying it alone with little success. I started seeing another psychiatrist and doing virtual visits helps out a lot. We discussed medication options. To which I firmly stated I wanted no addictive substances and nothing like valium or xanax. I didn't want temporary bandaid. I wanted a long term solution. My meds have been a major help this time. I feel like I'm gaining back some of my life. It's a slow process. I read about Animal Crossing and helping people with mental health issues. So I gave it a try and fell in love!
I kinda realized though I don't really have any friends. So I found The Bell Tree Forums.... 
it took me week just to sign up. But, here I am! Playing my first Animal Crossing game, trying to make friends, and posting about my mental health issues. 
Wow that was hard.... But, kinda therapeutic.
