Relationships: Does appearance matter to you?

[Tao]

Depends. Mutually important to a degree, but relationships with somebody wouldn't even come into consideration if I didn't have the interest in starting up a conversation with them in the first place.



I find looks important. I wouldn't have been with any of my partners if I didn't find them physically attractive as that's the first thing I noticed and what got me to talk to them with that intention there. I don't walk up to the person I find least attractive and maybe even physically a bit repulsive and ask for their number (I don't ask for numbers, but that's not my point).

I also find it important IN a relationship as a very attractive person with a dog crap personality could still get me sexually active whilst somebody who just isn't my type isn't going to get my blood flowing and ready to go based on our mutual love of Pokemon. Somebody I love spending time with and have lots of similar interests as but don't want to have sex with is what I call a friend.



Personality is definitely as important if not ultimately more important though. Whether I view a person I'm attracted to as a potential partner, friend or somebody to avoid comes down to their personality and how much or little we gel. Somebody I think is kinda cute is going to absolutely blow me away more than an 11/10 if we have a lot in common.

Realistically sexual stuff is also a smaller part of a relationship than anything else. I don't think I know many people outside of those just starting a relationship where sex is even more than 50% of what they do in their free time. I spend more time going to nice places and doing fun things with a partner than we do having sex, so it seems stupid for that to hold such value for a relationship above "do we like doing *this* together and have the same sense of humour?".



So I guess initially, looks are more important but at some point, personality is what makes or breaks the relationship.

 

[Mr_Persona]

I will never have a boyfriend but if l had to then yes it does matter...But when l think about it, it also doesn't all matter. I'm not in a relationship so what do l know. But personality is important to me, if they got the right personality that l like in men then that's good...because then we would have something in common
Anyways l'm not a pretty woman so bad luck there for me xD

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I voted that appearance and personality are about equal. I've never been one to be attracted to someone based on their looks (that's the ace in me shining through lol, I certainly don't like people for their bodies in any way) but I will say that when it comes to guys I'm a bit turned off by guys who are... I guess "overly" attractive? like the kind of guys you would see in fashion magazines (I know most men aren't like that, thank goodness). I also have never found things about men attractive that most girls/women do, such as muscles (like for real twig boys are my fav lol). I find that the most aesthetically attractive guys to me are usually tall and skinny and just have a very cute/nerdy aura about them

the biggest thing for me is hygiene. for comparison's sake, I'll use my brother and my dad as an example. my brother is very hygenic, always shaves his face (I'm not fond of facial hair at all, or really any body hair lol), always takes a shower when needed, and his hair and clothes are always well kempt. my dad, by contrast, is basically the opposite. one of the most unhygenic people I've ever met and it's a huge turn-off. if I ever found a guy like my brother, in terms of looks and personality, I would cherish them forever.


so yeah I would say I mostly like guys for their personality but they should be really hygienic and actually look like they take good care of themselves. I would also say that I'm not gonna reject someone because of their appearance (unless, like I mentioned, they aren't hygienic), if they genuinely care abt me and see me as a worthwhile partner then that's all that matters

 

[Plume]

I find that a person's looks are enhanced by their personality, for me. I might overlook someone at first, but if I admire their personality, I'll start to notice more things about them physically. Looks wise, I tend to prefer people with unconventional features. An ability to play an instrument, or make art, or some kind of eccentricity makes someone twice as attractive to me, for whatever reason.

 

[hakutaku]

I value appearance, but not as much as I value hygiene, personality, and style. An average-looking person who is very well-kept and dresses well is 100% more attractive than a naturally beautiful person who acts like a slob and has a terrible personality.

One of the reasons I broke it off with a guy I was seeing is because his personality annoyed me; he was over-eager, clingy, and overly-complimentary which I found extremely unattractive; I think I prefer people who are more chill, mature, and honest.

I'd never date someone I really find ugly though. I'd just never be drawn to them in the first place. Maybe my view will change when I get back into dating again though lol, but I'm not really interested in seeing anyone right now,,

 

[tomatospooks666]

i'd say appearance and personality are equally important to me, but my taste in what makes someone physically attractive probably differs from most.

 

[hamster]

looks are more of a plus. i do care about appearance but idk it completely depends of what kinda ugly they are

 

[Maymeows16]

I feel like appearance and personality are equal to me. I think that everyone is attracted to some physical traits naturally, but there are people who look into personality more. I think both are attractive in a balanced kind of way. If I see a handsome guy I might think he's attractive and like him, but to fall in love I think personality is more of a thing I focus on since it involves having things in common or enjoying the same things and such. I don't think I could be with a guy just for attractiveness only since personality is still important to me so a balance is perfect in my eyes. But that's only me and everyone likes different things and falls in love for many reasons so it shouldn't be bad to care about either or as long as you feel comfortable. :>

 

[Acruoxil]

Of course it matters. You can’t kiss a person or show them physical attraction if youre not even attracted to how they look.

I’m not dismissing personality here, ultimately that’s the deciding criteria for me. But a girl needs to be physically attractive to me before I can think of her as someone i’d like to get intimate with and get to know the kind of person she really is.

 

[CylieDanny]

I personally like to look my very best everyday, but I dont judge on appearances of other people, as long as they have a kind personality is what matters most. Another plus for me is having similar interests,

 

[Sin]

Looks and personality both matter to me. I can’t see myself with someone who’s incredibly attractive but as interesting as watching paint dry but I also can’t see myself with someone who’s ugly as sin but has a 5 star personality. I’d say it’s completely equal.

 

[Romaki]

Not really, I'd consider myself demisexual even meaning I need a connection with someone first. Like, I care if they look like a nice person and are hygienic, but I'm no model either and I just want to connect.

 

[coldpotato]

Personality is more important than looks. Of course I would like them to at least put effort into their appearance to make themselves look presentable but we don't get to choose the face we're born into so I never write someone off for not being seen as good looking to a lot of people.

I always found it odd that whenever I tell people about someone new I'm dating, I usually get at least one person saying "Is he cute??" or want to see his photo. Who cares? His looks say nothing about him as a person. I wish the default question people would ask is "Are they nice?" or something that has to do with their personality.

 

[Hat']

To me appearance is like the door to a house. if the house is pretty (looks) I will open it, and if the furniture is hideous (personnality) I will close that door immediatly and move on.
I just can't see myself waking up everyday next to someone I don't find attractive (physically of course).
However personnality plays a huge part too, if my boyfriend doesn't get my sarcastic comments and jokes I'll just break up.

 

[Antonio]

To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about this. Looks aren't everything to me but having a personality ain't everything to me either. I'm not too picky when pursuing a relationship, as long as you treat me well and are down to earth, I'll be fine I supposed.

 

[fairysyndrome]

i think it depends on the relationship & dynamic and how you met and interact with the person. looks are definitely important to a Point, but as someone whose only relationships have all been LDRs i fell for the people i've dated all through personality. i didn't even know what my first girlfriend looked like until a few weeks into our relationship, so it's more of a bonus for me than a necessary point for a relationship re: looks because i'm used to meeting people through the 'net versus real life.

 

[~Kilza~]

For me, I would say it's a mix of both, with personality having more of an emphasis than looks (with a whole bunch of other stuff factoring in as well, lol). I do agree with some other posters that looks are what draws your attention to them in the first place, but personality is what keeps your interest in them going. After all, I would find it hard to be in a relationship with somebody who I thought had a great personality but was just plain ugly, and the opposite is true, where being in a relationship with somebody who was insanely good looking but who just had a bad/flat personality would never work out for very long.

 

[Chris]

Anytime I see this thread I start typing a response and then end up deciding against posting it. Mostly because I fear it makes me sound like some sort of ****boy.

Someone doesn't need to be conventionally attractive to catch my eye, but if the attraction fades I'm going to jump ship if there isn't a deeper connection there to keep me around. Unfortunately, that attraction often does fade - usually after getting in bed with them. I don't know if I just enjoy the thrill of the chase, or if I've deep-seated intimacy issues I've not been addressing, but after I pass that base with someone it often sends me into a depressive episode that won't pass until I break it off. The majority of my relationships have ended simply because I'm no longer attracted to the other person.

 

[joey ^_^]

i do think looks play a part in finding a partner because it makes you notice and start paying attention to them? at the very least that was the case for me hehe. when i first met my partner it was... cliche as it sounds, love at first sight. he was just super my type aesthetically so i couldn't help but want to look at him. and in the process i got to discover his personality and that made me want to have something deeper than just a crush. and now we've been together for 5 years and he's my best friend ahuhu

of course there's also the case where you're friends with someone and you think "darn i really like their personality" and then you end up liking them? and then you see them as pretty bc you have a crush on them now haha that happened to me before with one of my friends and it's also nice. things didn't end well but. i don't think whether the attraction started from looks or from personality would really affect the depth of the relationship if both of you work hard and have the same goals.

 

[Shawna]

Here is the (weird) thing about me...

I have zero attraction to real people. Zero. I know this is very weird and unusual, but I only feel attraction to fictional characters. Of course, I can't develop a crush on a character that I find ugly. As for the personality, since they cannot actually hurt me, it doesn't matter to me. I actually usually fall for the villains. I don't know, I like to think of myself as being the one to help them change for the better. I had a crush on Ripslinger from Planes from July 2017 to 2019, and I shipped with him for most (if not all) of that time period.

I have a pretty big crush on this game character (who I am currently shipping with), which I've had a crush on him since July 2020. If you played any of the Papa's Scooperia versions or have played any of the post-Scooperia apps, you may knew who he is...his name is Mousse. While they do have backstories, careers, etc., they are just customers at the end of the day, so they don't really have a "protagonist/antagonist" title, but based on Mousse's backstory, I like to think of him as a reformed villain. Him and his sister Whippa used to be criminals, but now they have reformed and are now informants for the Oniontown Police Department. I imagine Mousse as someone who is very kind, loving, and has a heart of gold despite his past mistakes.