Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

[xSuperMario64x]

it's so weird to think that even tho I'm aro/ace I still kinds consider myself bi/pan. I'm not one of those aros who despises romantic relationships, I would actually quite like to be in one, and I would honestly be content to date anyone regardless of gender (though I do prefer men) leading me to believe that I'm aroace but I'm also pan lol.

is anyone else this perplexing?? or is it just my crazy ***

 

[cornimer]

it's so weird to think that even tho I'm aro/ace I still kinds consider myself bi/pan. I'm not one of those aros who despises romantic relationships, I would actually quite like to be in one, and I would honestly be content to date anyone regardless of gender (though I do prefer men) leading me to believe that I'm aroace but I'm also pan lol.

is anyone else this perplexing?? or is it just my crazy ***

I'm ace but also a lesbian but also that's kind of a gendered term and I'm agender so to answer your question, yes lol

 

[ali.di.magix]

it's so weird to think that even tho I'm aro/ace I still kinds consider myself bi/pan. I'm not one of those aros who despises romantic relationships, I would actually quite like to be in one, and I would honestly be content to date anyone regardless of gender (though I do prefer men) leading me to believe that I'm aroace but I'm also pan lol.

is anyone else this perplexing?? or is it just my crazy ***

I've never related to something so hard in my life lmao. I consider myself to be aroace but I'd date someone of any gender if I felt there was some sort of connection. I'm in a constant battle with myself if I'm aroace are maybe just a picky bisexual lol

 

[Croconaw]

it's so weird to think that even tho I'm aro/ace I still kinds consider myself bi/pan. I'm not one of those aros who despises romantic relationships, I would actually quite like to be in one, and I would honestly be content to date anyone regardless of gender (though I do prefer men) leading me to believe that I'm aroace but I'm also pan lol.

is anyone else this perplexing?? or is it just my crazy ***

Ugh, same. I really don’t desire a relationship. I’m lithromantic and get crushes, but I never expect anything to come from those crushes. If my feelings are reciprocated, I immediately lose feelings and get uncomfortable. I don’t really want to complicate things with a term. I typically just say that I’m not into relationships and leave it at that, without actually identifying with a term. I’m also a sex-repulsed asexual, so I just find it easier to say that I’m only looking for friendships. It seems less complicated that way.

 

[Corrie]

I've never related to something so hard in my life lmao. I consider myself to be aroace but I'd date someone of any gender if I felt there was some sort of connection. I'm in a constant battle with myself if I'm aroace are maybe just a picky bisexual lol

Maybe you're demiromantic/demisexual?

 

[pottercrossing]

I know for sure I'm pansexual and demisexual, but I'm still trying to figure out if I'm genderfluid, bigender, or non-binary. All I know is I'm not cisgender.
Sadly, my stepmom doesn't believe in bi/pansexuality. She once said, and I quote:
"Bisexuality is a myth. In my opinion, people have to be either straight or gay. People who say they're bi/pansexual are just too afraid to be openly gay."

 

[tessa grace]

I'm coming here to rant-ish (sorry if this is the wrong place to post) cause honestly I'm so tired of my dad. He's a respectful person on most LGBTQIA+ aspects but istg he has to villainize transgender women.
He got all mad about Caitlyn Jenner today in a discussion we were having about woman of the year. He said she "took away our hard work" and such as if she wasn't a girl. As a woman I have no issue with Caitlyn winning and I don't understand why people get so mad over the smallest things. I feel like he points out all the bad things transgender people have done when obviously women and men and all genders make mistakes because we're HUMAN. not because of our gender!!!
Anyway im asking for help- how the heck can i help my dad understand through my eyes?

 

[moonbyu]

Spoiler: rant kinda

just found out that not one but two of my friends are transphobic and homophobic!! awesome! /s
they will be so happy when i tell them i use all pronouns and that i'm enby (probably, still thinking it out lmao)!
bahhh... i keep meeting weird homophobic people but it seems my other friends have almost no problem with finding lgbtq friends or just people who.. don't hate the lgbtq community? it sucks over here y'all ;(

 

[tessa grace]

Spoiler: rant kinda

just found out that not one but two of my friends are transphobic and homophobic!! awesome! /s
they will be so happy when i tell them i use all pronouns and that i'm enby (probably, still thinking it out lmao)!
bahhh... i keep meeting weird homophobic people but it seems my other friends have almost no problem with finding lgbtq friends or just people who.. don't hate the lgbtq community? it sucks over here y'all ;(

I'm so sorry. I hope you can find people who support your actions and way of living

 

[Croconaw]

-snip-

You’re asking how you can help your dad understand through your eyes, but the answer is simple. You don’t. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I’ve learned that you can’t make someone believe a certain way. I say this with beliefs regarding anything, that most people are set in their ways and will simply not see it from another perspective. Whether it’s right or wrong, or neither, you’ll just have to accept it. I think we can all benefit from seeing perspectives other than or own, but unfortunately, it seems to be difficult thing for some people. I understand it must be hard to listen to comments like that from family or people you’re close to, but it’s inevitable and something we have to deal with. Typically people are dead set in their ways regarding controversial topics or touchy subjects such as the one you mentioned. Venting about it definitely helps, but don’t try to change his thoughts on this, because trust me, you cannot. Nobody can, and attempting to do so will be a waste of not only your time but his time, as well. Again, I’m really sorry you have to deal with this.

 

[chicken soup]

hiya! not too many of my friends know that im pan... or go by she/they (besides @tessa. and some others) but yea.. I just want a place where we can feel safe and supported. It took me a while to figure out what my sexuality is and i still sometimes think that i might be bi or something else.. anyways thanks for making this thread! i feel like its a good idea to have a safe place for all the LGBTQIA+ people in this community!

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I'm coming here to rant-ish (sorry if this is the wrong place to post) cause honestly I'm so tired of my dad. He's a respectful person on most LGBTQIA+ aspects but istg he has to villainize transgender women.
He got all mad about Caitlyn Jenner today in a discussion we were having about woman of the year. He said she "took away our hard work" and such as if she wasn't a girl. As a woman I have no issue with Caitlyn winning and I don't understand why people get so mad over the smallest things.

this reminds me of a recent post that a family member of mine (my mom's cousin) shared on facebook. the post talked about how Mj Rodriguez became the first transgender woman (she's also a POC) to win a Golden Globe, for Best Actress in Drama. first of all, the title of the article was super insensitive by saying "the winner of the best actress golden globe is actually a biological man" and ofc my cousin had to add on "haha, I guess men won in the end. and it was the crazy liberals who did it." would it be wrong of me to point out that my cousin is also middle-aged, white, and straight?

like I honestly like my cousin a lot, he can be a good guy. but if he's gonna act transphobic like this (also this isn't the first time he's shown his transphobic side on facebook) then how can I reasonably expect him to treat me with any kind of respect? I already have to deal with transphoic garbage from my dad, who consistently calls me by my deadname and incorrect pronouns (it's funny how I literally have two sets of pronouns that he could call me by but he still uses the one incorrect pronoun set), and it's really disheartening to see other family members act the same way. it's shameful, really.

Post automatically merged: Jan 19, 2022

You’re asking how you can help your dad understand through your eyes, but the answer is simple. You don’t. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I’ve learned that you can’t make someone believe a certain way. I say this with beliefs regarding anything, that most people are set in their ways and will simply not see it from another perspective. Whether it’s right or wrong, or neither, you’ll just have to accept it. I think we can all benefit from seeing perspectives other than or own, but unfortunately, it seems to be difficult thing for some people. I understand it must be hard to listen to comments like that from family or people you’re close to, but it’s inevitable and something we have to deal with. Typically people are dead set in their ways regarding controversial topics or touchy subjects such as the one you mentioned. Venting about it definitely helps, but don’t try to change his thoughts on this, because trust me, you cannot. Nobody can, and attempting to do so will be a waste of not only your time but his time, as well. Again, I’m really sorry you have to deal with this.

you know what I say to this? if someone isn't willing to love you for who you are then they don't deserve to be a part of your life. I still live with my parents but I've basically cut my dad out of my life as much as possible, and you can bet that when I move out I'll prob never talk to my dad again (not only bc of transphobia but also bc he has verbally/emotionally abused me and my mom and brother). don't waste time trying to hold onto something that can never be. cut that negativity bs out of your life and you'll feel much better.

 

[Croconaw]

-snip-

Yes, of course. There’s nothing wrong with cutting people out of your life. There are a few people in my family I no longer speak to and I avoid them at all costs. Still, I think cutting people out of your life completely is a much better decision than trying to change someone’s mind. It’s easier for the both of you.

 

[Shoutarous]

I feel like this is the best place to talk about this,
So I'm a trans-man who's been out for about 2 years now. I keep asking my mom to go on testosterone and I've given her lots of time to think on it. It's not like we can't afford it, but I think she just wants me to detransition. She's stated multiple times that she thinks this is all just something that I feel inside and I don't need to do anything to "change myself" and I'm "pretty the way I am"
Does anyone have any advice on how I can bring up the subject with her? I'm currently talking to a counciler to see if he can help out but its been bothering me for a while

 

[Croconaw]

-snip-

Hi! From your mom’s perspective, I think she just doesn’t want you to do something you’ll regret. There are some incidents where people do regret transitioning, but for some, it’s the best thing they’ve done. I don’t think your mom is a bad person or is trying to prevent you from testosterone. However, if she’s actually saying that it’s just something you feel inside that’s a little close-minded and I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I don’t know how old you are but you said you’ve been out for two years and that’s a good bit of time. I don’t think you’d feel this way for two or more years if it was a phase, so clearly it’s not. Also, if you’re an adult would it be possible to just get it done yourself, or do you need her for financial help? Unfortunately if it’s coming from her pockets I don’t think there’s much you can do. If it’s 100% your money though, I say you can do what you want with it and you should transition if you feel in your heart that’s what’s right. The first problem here is that you’re asking permission to transition. It’s up to you and not her or anyone else. I don’t know if this helps, but just my take on things.

 

[Shoutarous]

Thanks a lot for your advice ^^

 

[iiyyja]

Hi! From your mom’s perspective, I think she just doesn’t want you to do something you’ll regret. There are some incidents where people do regret transitioning, but for some, it’s the best thing they’ve done. I don’t think your mom is a bad person or is trying to prevent you from testosterone. However, if she’s actually saying that it’s just something you feel inside that’s a little close-minded and I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I don’t know how old you are but you said you’ve been out for two years and that’s a good bit of time. I don’t think you’d feel this way for two or more years if it was a phase, so clearly it’s not. Also, if you’re an adult would it be possible to just get it done yourself, or do you need her for financial help? Unfortunately if it’s coming from her pockets I don’t think there’s much you can do. If it’s 100% your money though, I say you can do what you want with it and you should transition if you feel in your heart that’s what’s right. The first problem here is that you’re asking permission to transition. It’s up to you and not her or anyone else. I don’t know if this helps, but just my take on things.

He's still a minor. You have to be at least 18 years old to take t without parental consent. There's only so much you can do when you're financially dependant on your parents

There are some incidents where people do regret transitioning

Important to note the rate of detransitioning is less than 1 percent. And of that 1 percent, most chose to detransition because they couldn't bear the social stigma attached to being trans. What you have in mind is very uncommon

I feel like this is the best place to talk about this,
So I'm a trans-man who's been out for about 2 years now. I keep asking my mom to go on testosterone and I've given her lots of time to think on it. It's not like we can't afford it, but I think she just wants me to detransition. She's stated multiple times that she thinks this is all just something that I feel inside and I don't need to do anything to "change myself" and I'm "pretty the way I am"
Does anyone have any advice on how I can bring up the subject with her? I'm currently talking to a counselor to see if he can help out but its been bothering me for a while

Has your mom tried to reach out to other parents going through the same thing with their kid? It could help her come to terms with your transition

 

[Shoutarous]

I don't think she's done looking into much of the subject at all unfortunately. I've done my best to explain things to her but I could try to ask her!

 

[daringred_]

I don't think she's done looking into much of the subject at all unfortunately. I've done my best to explain things to her but I could try to ask her!

i had a similar issue with my nan repeatedly telling me that being a lesbian was "just a phase" and referring to my girlfriend as just my 'friend' despite multiple people correcting her multiple times, including myself. thankfully, it only lasted a few months. i don't think she ever had any malicious intent in the first place, but i'm glad she now recognizes both my sexuality and my relationship. if you're confident that your mother is accepting and won't ridicule or punish you etc. you could try pushing the topic harder and being more adamant about it. sometimes you have to be confrontational to see change, unfortunately. otherwise, you could take the initiative and, say, print out some documents on the subject and/or comments from parents of other trans kids across the world and give them to her. similarly, if you know anyone who's also trans, you could see if their parent(s) might reach out to her and broach the topic. you mentioned that you're trying to get your counselor to help, but you could also enlist your doctor's aid. (if you're seeing one.) they might be able to call your mom and talk to her about transitioning etc. and put any issues/worries she has at ease.

 

[Croconaw]

Important to note the rate of detransitioning is less than 1 percent. And of that 1 percent, most chose to detransition because they couldn't bear the social stigma. What you have in mind is very uncommon

Just thought I’d clarify that I was trying to see from their mom’s perspective. It is uncommon, for sure, but it still happens. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I have this in mind for this particular situation. I don’t see that being the case here, though, since he said he’s been feeling this way for over two years.