Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

[Croconaw]

My job sells bottled Coke products, and we got a shipment in with names on them. There’s one person from the morning shift that has a sense of humor and he showed me a bottle with my deadname on it because I guess he thought it would be funny. I didn’t find it funny, but I brushed it off knowing he jokes around about lots of things. He did make a few insensitive trans comments (not directed at me, but in general) when I stated that l didn’t like my given name and mentioned that I wanted to change it sooner rather than later, given who’s in charge of the country right now.

He said that Trump isn’t trying to prevent people from changing their name. He said he’s trying to stop people from pretending they’re something they aren’t, like, “turtles” and “basketballs.” It seemed insensitive, I don’t know? I’m happy I don’t actually work with him. This was all in passing.

On a brighter note, a customer today asked me if I was non-binary. I said that I was. I had a hunch she was transgender which she confirmed later on, and we both thought that was awesome.

 

[Tude]

@xSuperMario64x good luck with your surgery!

 

[xSuperMario64x]

very happy to personally share this gem today:

Spoiler

couldn't resist
View attachment 615891

been feeling pretty nervous for the last week or so, but I know it'll be worth it in the end. I can finally feel fully comfortable in my own skin. I just hope everything goes well and there aren't any issues

update time!

Spoiler

so it's been almost a full day since my surgery, and surprisingly, I'm not really dealing with pain much. it might be a mild pain, but definitely not comparable to when I had my knee surgery in early 2018. if anything I'm just feeling some discomfort, from being a bit numb in the front and also the drains I had to have put in. I am staying on top of the pain by taking Tylenol at least every six hours, so I'm sure that's helping. but I haven't needed to take an oxycodone yet so I'm happy about that.

I was feeling very drowsy from the anesthesia for most of yesterday, but I feel a little better now. I woke up around 4am, it's almost 6am and I may go back to sleep soon. it is kind of uncomfortable to lie down on my back, but for now I'd prefer to not lie down on my sides.

I want to thank everyone who sent me well wishes, I'm not feeling the best right now but I'm sooooo relieved. I can't wait to take off my medical binder soon and see how everything looks

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I just have to say, as much as I've been feeling uncomfortable lately... it's super cool to remember multiple times a day that I'm flat chested now hehehe

my first post-op is in a few days, hopefully at that point they can remove the drains and give me more flexibility in terms of how much I need to wear my medical binder. physically I'm not at my best just because recovery is difficult, but emotionally I feel very content and happy with myself

 

[LateGamer]

I just have to say, as much as I've been feeling uncomfortable lately... it's super cool to remember multiple times a day that I'm flat chested now hehehe

my first post-op is in a few days, hopefully at that point they can remove the drains and give me more flexibility in terms of how much I need to wear my medical binder. physically I'm not at my best just because recovery is difficult, but emotionally I feel very content and happy with myself

Congratulations on becoming yourself! I hope you are soon pain free.

 

[seliph]

Something I've been wondering about trans people for a while (I'm cis so sorry if this comes out as offensive... ;w;): I get why some people wouldn't tell you they're trans first-hand (you just know their preferred name and pronouns), but how come others are overt about it? Maybe... it's from a desire to feel seen in a world that's already imperfect for them? Would love for a trans person to answer this.

Overt trans person here.

Because it's not something to be ashamed of. Transness is a part of us just like ethnicity, sexuality, etc.. Why should we treat it any differently and hide it?

I find it kinda insulting to understand being closeted but not being proud/indifferent.

 

[Ravenkitty22]

Yesterday was International Asexuality Day, so I wanted to make a post for all the Aces/A-specs on here! Personally, I’m very comfortable with and proud of my asexuality, and I wish there was more representation and information about it. What are your thoughts?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I’m trying online dating and I don’t think it’s going very well. I tried that LGBTQ+ dating app for less than a day and I was extremely disappointed with it. First of all I couldn’t set my maximum miles willing to travel to be less than 30 (I am only willing to drive 20 miles tops) and I kept getting matches outside of my state or halfway across the state or beyond what I was willing to travel. I ran out of options within 40 minutes of constantly hitting the discard icon. I don’t want to drive over an hour just to meet someone and then find out that we don’t click. Gas is expensive and I’m not wasting my time or energy just for what could possibly be a one time meet up. I’ve done it in the past where the guy just stops talking to me after one date and won’t tell me why he is ghosting me because he blocked me and that creates some pretty serious mental health issues with me because I am left thinking it is my fault that this happened to me again and I’m wondering what is so wrong with me that literally no one wants me and refuses to tell me?

 

[Seastar]

Yesterday was International Asexuality Day, so I wanted to make a post for all the Aces/A-specs on here! Personally, I’m very comfortable with and proud of my asexuality, and I wish there was more representation and information about it. What are your thoughts?

My thoughts are I'm disappointed I didn't know this yesterday lol.
But also yeah, I don't think there's enough representation. I'm on the end of the spectrum where I am really uncomfortable with NSFW content in general and it makes me feel like I don't belong when I have to mostly stick to children's/family friendly content because a lot of adults seem to love inappropriate jokes.

 

[-Raven-]

Overt trans person here.

Because it's not something to be ashamed of. Transness is a part of us just like ethnicity, sexuality, etc.. Why should we treat it any differently and hide it?

I find it kinda insulting to understand being closeted but not being proud/indifferent.

For me it’s not about any shame and more I’m tired of being open about myself in general because I’m tired of talking with people about myself. And just clarifying that doesn’t insult me

Sadly on your last line this is something I experience on like everything lol Austalia is a very fear-led / crab in a bucket culture

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Yesterday was International Asexuality Day, so I wanted to make a post for all the Aces/A-specs on here! Personally, I’m very comfortable with and proud of my asexuality, and I wish there was more representation and information about it. What are your thoughts?

so I technically am demisexual, but even that is very limited in its scope. outside of that I am basically ace/apothisexual. I'm very happy and proud to be ace

I've heard on occasion that some people are jealous of the fact that I'm ace; it reminds me of this one pic I found on Pinterest a while ago hehehe

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Spoiler: post surgery healing stuff

the left side of my chest is kind of swollen right now, and I feel a little insecure about it

I mean, I'm only three weeks out from surgery so I know I'm still healing. in fact, the surgeon said that it would be about three months before the swelling fully stops and the scars heal. it was even the left side that drained the most fluid out when I had the drains in for a week, it was still consistently putting out about 15ml toward the end of the week. so I'm not surprised it's a little swollen... but it doesn't make it any easier.

last night I was able to sleep with my compression off, but I guess I'll have to wear it tonight.

I think I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I don't want to rush the healing process. but it's just so difficult this process hasn't been as difficult as my knee surgery, but it's been making me feel emotional and tired. I don't know how I got through the spring semester of my Freshman year of undergrad with a busted knee. maybe because back then I was 18 and now I'm eight years older.

I'm so tired and drained, I really need to just rest

I've put some Vaseline on the incisions/scars, and I have my compression on now. I hope I can go to sleep okay, this thing is a bit uncomfortable to wear at night (hence why I had it off the night before).

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Trying to meet potential dates via dating apps and sites and it’s going horribly. Three of them had me run out of matches for me within five minutes and the only way I can get more are if I expand my search area to over 50 mi which I refuse to do because I’m not driving that far just to go on a date with someone that isn’t going to work out or to be stood up. Gas is expensive and I don’t want to drive into the city before I’m not familiar with it and there are way too many one way streets and the streets are confusing for me. And it’s super easy to accidentally end up on the toll road which only accepts credit cards which I don’t have and there is literally no way to turn around without going through four lanes and then they still except you to pay the toll just to leave! I should just give the idea that I’ll ever find anyone….

 

[xSuperMario64x]

can't believe I have to say this, but using someone's preferred pronouns is a right for them, not a courtesy.

I say this because my parents have tried many times to guilt trip me for stupid ****, with one of their excuses being "I always try to use the correct pronouns with you." okay, I deserve to be respected and referred to properly. if you're only using the correct pronouns to get something out of me, or you simply cannot respect my pronouns, then do not interact with me.

and obviously this applies to everyone with preferred pronouns. please respect them.

 

[Croconaw]

My grandma always tries to guilt me that I shouldn’t get mad when she “accidentally” uses my deadname. She says I try to make her feel bad by grumbling every time she uses it, but she’s lucky I’m even responding to it. She had a meltdown when I accidentally called Keagan “Trixie” (which is the name of my mom’s cat) to prove a point.

Also, I had to listen to her 30 minute phone call this morning where she was referring to Mexicans as “Jalapenos,” so that was fun. She is insanely bigoted.

 

[Mairmalade]

I disclosed that I'm aro/ace (or at least fall under the umbrella in some capacity), and was met with, "And what are you doing to fix that?"

I say this rhetorically, but I wasn't aware this needed "fixing."

 

[Croconaw]

I thought this thread would be the most fitting place for this question;

Does anyone here have any pride things they wear on the daily, aside from pronoun pins? I have this non-binary wristband, but I don’t wear it daily. I fear my grandma would question it. She’s already asked me questions about my pronoun pin. I’ll be seeing a lot of her for the next month or two, unfortunately.

I would like to start wearing the wristband out more. I’ve been wanting to get a non-binary bandana to tie around my bag, but I feel this wristband is more versatile. I can slip it on and off, and people recognize it as the flag.

 

[Chris]

I thought this thread would be the most fitting place for this question;

Does anyone here have any pride things they wear on the daily, aside from pronoun pins? I have this non-binary wristband, but I don’t wear it daily. I fear my grandma would question it. She’s already asked me questions about my pronoun pin. I’ll be seeing a lot of her for the next month or two, unfortunately.

I would like to start wearing the wristband out more. I’ve been wanting to get a non-binary bandana to try around my bag, but I feel this wristband is more versatile. I can slip it on and off, and people recognize it as the flag.

View attachment 620981

I wear a fidget ring with the rainbow flag. I was actually complimented on it on a CPD course I did 5-6 weeks ago.

 

[QueenCobra]

I’ve seen some bi people online state that their standards for women are much higher than their standards for men. As a bi woman (with a stronger preference for men), I don’t understand this, especially as a woman myself.

As someone who used to be deeply insecure about her appearance, I would never want anyone else to go through the mental turmoil I have. But, generally, I also like chubby women, or at least with a little padding, which is just like my guys.

I also think— sometimes —people put too much emphasis on appearance in dating. It’s important, yes, but I also want to bond with someone— not just look at them. If someone is nice, funny, and shares your interests, that’s the most important thing.

 

[Raccoon Goon]

I thought this thread would be the most fitting place for this question;

Does anyone here have any pride things they wear on the daily, aside from pronoun pins? I have this non-binary wristband, but I don’t wear it daily. I fear my grandma would question it. She’s already asked me questions about my pronoun pin. I’ll be seeing a lot of her for the next month or two, unfortunately.

I would like to start wearing the wristband out more. I’ve been wanting to get a non-binary bandana to tie around my bag, but I feel this wristband is more versatile. I can slip it on and off, and people recognize it as the flag.

View attachment 620981

I sometimes wear a Resident Evil hoodie that happens to have a rainbow on it (among other things). I'm careful with more "blatant" stuff tho since it HAS happened here that people have gotten harrassed over wearing rainbow-related stuff.